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MB, your realism is appreciated and believe it or not prefered... heres where I am, I have gotton her to agree in writing that once I finish my degree and move back in school district that the 50/50 will resume... now, should I just have the agreement notorized and signed or should I get a judge to sign off on it thereby bounding me to this new schedule? If i get a judge to sign an agreement signed by both parties stating the 50/50 will resume, what kind of position does that put me in when I go to court later if needed?

BTW - thank you guys so much for your fast responses... I cant tell you how nice it is to be able to talk even if I dont get the exact answers I want, lol....

I understand splitting the summers, especially if we are 50/50, but as it sits she is asking me to acccept less than 1/3 of the year...and thats a conservative estimate. I am just wondering if the plan I am laying out is realistic. I still dont have a clear answer on that. Also I am trying to find out if I give that time up now to better myself and put myself in a position that will clearly be more beneficial to my daughter do I have a shot at 50/50 later assuming it doesnt disrupt her school schedule? - Thanks.

I am sorry for DS's loss. My baby almost lost me at 11mo....its scary to think about. I have changed many things in my life to be able to walk her down the isle...and every turn i get too seems like more stress than the last. If I can hold on to a relationship with my daughter I feel everything will work out.

What is "IHMO"?

We have no current order from a court, but what i mean is  finishing my degree and then move back to her school district within the next couple of years....or is that too late?

What I want to do is better myself now while I have her less time, because honestly Im not in that great of a position to take care of her half the time monitarily... which is why im agreeing to any of this in the first place... Either way I go, weather through the court or on our own I am still gonna loose time. My question now is in regaurds to the possiblity of accepting  less time now, then in a couple of years or so, when I am in a better position, moving closer and asking a court agree to 50/50 at that point.... or at least more time with my daughter? Is that realistic?

Either way being closer to her is my goal, I just need a place where the cost of living is not so much in order to pull this off. My goal is to have my degree and be debt free. yes I will be about 2 hours away for a couple of years, but still have her the 1st,3rd,and,5th, alternate holidays, alternate her birthday, every fathers day, and some in the summer but in the hopes that once my "house is in order" I will get more time.  Does that sound like a realistic plan?

I think honestly taking so much money out of both mine and her mothers pockets if we hire attorneys only hurts my daughter in the end and decreases her standard of living in the near future, not to mention it doesn't help me achive the goal of being more financially stable and being able to move closer.  I do want a judge to sign off on whatever we agree to including her mom not leaving the state, etc...I do not, however, want to give up being her dad....what are your thoughts?

I see your point.... but is true that once I am stable again, if i move back to the same school district and have a stable environment I can petition the court for 50/50 split again, or is it once I agree to this, that's it, Ive lost out on the childhood of my daughter for good?

And thanks BTW about the luck on my health....

I have a daughter who will be 3 in april. Her mom and I have been splt up for about a year and a half but have split custody 50/50 and all has worked out fine. I recently lost my job and had to move back to my fathers house which is 3 hours away. Dragging my daughter back and forth is definitely not in her best interest but neither is loosing her dad. Her mom wants me to accept every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer...  thats just not enough time to be an effective father. I want to push for 1st, 3rd, and 5th and the whole summer, is this realistic. I live in Tx. I will be moving about and hour closer in a week, and have a stable safe environment in which to have my daughter in, and I dont want to loose the very close bond we share already. I would push for 50/50 until school starts but I still dont have a job lined out. I had a heart attack when my daughter was 11mo and mom split shortly thereafter and Im still trying to regain my momentum. She stayed home the first 11mo with her and I was the primary caregiver for the next six, then we went to 50/50. Once I am more stable I plan to move back and volley for 50/50 again. Thanks in advance....