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William,

Your story is truly heart-breaking... I hope and pray that your situation gets better for the sake of Mary.  It sounds that she loves you despite of her mother, of everything else.  So, please don't lose hope and continue the fight.

God bless you and your daughter!

I must be getting old because I have posted about this before and don't remember what was said on the responses I got.  Worse, it was a long time ago and I can't find the post on here anymore.  Grrr!

So, here I go again.  Husband's CS order was done in State A.  He was supposed to pay court-ordered child support through a CS Receiver's (not Enforcement) Office.  The CS Receiver's Office does an allotment (not court-ordered deduction or whatever the correct term is) from his paycheck.  To make a long story short, ex wife was in the process of moving at the time and could not provide husband with a bank account number.  He needed this to set up the payment with the CS Receiver's Office.  So, he ended up paying her directly with checks and a couple of wire transfers.  She was actually in favor of this at the time.  All checks were noted with "For child support" and they were all cashed.  We sent copies of cashed checks and wire transfer records to CS Receiver's Office and they added a notation on his account regarding these.   Back then, his account showed that he's in arrearage for the timeframe that he should have been paying through their office but was paying ex wife directly instead.  

We were told by the CS Receiver's Office that they do not deal with arrearages -- they don't report it, they don't collect it, they don't do anything.  If CS is owed, it is up to payee to collect it via a legal process.
They also won't correct the wrong arrearage record on their system because that has to be dealt with legally.

The CS order was done in State A and both parties now live in State B.  Two kids are involved.  When Kid 1 turns 18 or graduates from high school or emancipates, support for that kid is supposed to end according to the CS order.  What is your advice in best handling the change in CS amount that ex wife receives?

Would you:
    (1) Send a certified letter to ex wife referencing change of CS amount according to the CS order as soon as Kid 1 turns 18 or graduates high school or emancipates.  Inform her that according to the CS order, husband will make a change in the CS amount. THEN change the allotment getting drawn from his paycheck.  
     PRO:  No legal costs involved.  Both parties working together.
     CON:  May have legal repercussion on husband's part.  He may have arrearages incorrectly recorded on his CS account although, in reality, he's current and up-to-date.

    (2) Modify CS order through legal course by registering CS order from State A in State B, hiring a lawyer in State B to handle CS change which will then prompt ex wife to hire a lawyer for herself to make sure that she doesn't get the short end of the stick.
     PRO:  Matter is taken care of legally.
     CON:  Both parties will spend huge $$$ to settle matter legally.

So, what would you do if you are in my husband's shoes?  Are there any other holes to this situation that we are failing to see?

Thanks for your response!!!

Divorce and support orders were done in GA but all parties are now in FL.  

Per support order, hubby is to pay CS thru allotment.  At the time he was going to set this up, ex-wife was in the process of moving out-of-state.  Hubby was about to be deployed, too.  They talked and he agreed to the move thinking it will benefit the kids (her getting a new job, living close to family members, etc).  She then asked him if he could just send her checks because that's what's convenient for her at the time as she has not established a new bank account yet.  On his behalf and while he was deployed, I sent her the checks noting "for child support" on every single one.  When he came back and received a new bank account number from ex-wife, he set up the allotment and that's the way CS is paid eversince.

Anyway, due to that whole situation years ago, hubby's payment record shows an arrearage. We have sent the support office copies of all cashed checks. They have put a notation on the payment record.  In fact, hubby overpaid ex-wife!

Our concern is, when she does file for a CS increase, this arrearage will show up and hubby may be required to pay them all over again.  Yes, he didn't follow what was on the decree at the time due to both of their circumstances but he still did the right thing by sending her the CS timely.  I hope that will mean something to the court/judge when the time comes.

What do you think?  Soc, please advise!

Hi,

It's been a while since I've posted here.  I hope everyone's doing well.

Well, I wanted to know what you guys think of our situation.  Hubby's in the military and was recently promoted.  Ex-wife found out about it.  We don't know if she's going for child support increase but I wouldn't be surprised.  

Their divorce order was done in a different state.  We're all in FL now.  Furthermore, hubby's has been doing 100% of transportation for visits with kids (2) and doesn't get to claim them on his income tax at all.
Since the divorce, she has moved the kids further away numerous times and hubby still shoulders 100% of transportation just to see them.

If she'll go after a child support increase, that's fine with us.  We're all for what's fair and, if she's entitled to one, then good for her.  I did a quick calculation and, if anything, she'll get about $100/month.  If she does bring up a lawsuit though, we will petition court to grant meeting halfway for every visitation (since she's the one who keeps on moving) and alternate claiming the children (or divide) for tax purposes.  What do you think are our chances in getting these granted?

Right now, instead of handing her that extra $100, we are using it towards our and the kids' transportation expenses.  Airfare alone is worth more than $100/month!  Ex-wife has been unwilling to meet halfway even after we offered to pay for her rental car and gas.

Any thought or idea is certainly welcome.

Thanks!

Hi Soc,

Hope all is well with you.  A few questions:

1. When does a stipulated agreement between parties override a court order?

2. Any suggestions on how to intelligently draw up and enforce a stipulated agreement?

3. When does a court recognize or honor a stipulated agreement?  Is there a specific process that parties must follow?

Thanks for your help!

:0

Hi Soc,

My husband is an active duty military member stationed in GA.  His divorce was done in GA.  We live in FL and so do the kids and the ex wife.  There is a chance that his next duty station will be in CA.  Nothing is 100% certain at this point, but I'm starting to anticipate what this change is going to bring about with regard to ex wife and the kids.

1. Child support from GA was never modified so it still stands as originally ordered.  If the ex wife chooses to modify that once we moved to CA, who holds the jurisdiction?  Will CS be based on CA or FL law?  I know nothing about CA law.

2. The current/orig divorce order states that husband is responsible for 100% of transportation (which he fulfills).  Unfortunately, this order was not modified when ex wife moved from GA to FL.  Am I correct to assume that, since he will be the moving party this time, he will continue to be 100% responsible for the kids' transportation during his time with them?  Any chance the court will favor a 60-40 or 70-30 split?

3. Ex wife wanted to relocate minor kids outside of the country before.  Husband fought and won against it.  If ex wife decides to re-litigate that issue on the ground of husband moving to a different state, what are her chances of winning?  How can we successfully prevent such relocation of minor kids in this situation?  The way I look at it, we will have even LESS time with them moving from FL to CA -- and even LESS than that if they are allowed to move to a different country.

That's it for my questions for now.  I'm sure I'll have more later.  Thanks again for all your help!

I love it!!!! *LOL*:7

Hi there,

Not a legal expert by any means but I thought I'd share my 2 cents since we were involved in a relocation case some years ago.  Ex wife wanted to relocate minor kids to ANOTHER COUNTRY and we won against it.  State is FL which has 6 factors to consider in a relocation case.  We had a lawyer but did most of the research ourselves, too.   We simply covered those 6 factors which the ex wife miserably failed to do.

I don't know VA statutes at all but here's something I found that you might find interesting and helpful:

http://www.maddoxlawoffice.com/CM/WhatsNew/relocation_custody_cases.pdf

You might want to check this firm out if you still don't have a lawyer.  It looks like they specialized in Family Law.  Maybe they offer free consultation or something.

In our case, husband had to file for emergency motion to suspend return of minor children to ex wife until hearing to prohibit their relocation is done.  This happened while the minor children were with us for the summer.  Ex wife was outright vocal (& sent an email, too) that she was leaving the country with the kids as soon as they get back from their summer with us.  Needless to say,  husband's emergency motion was granted.  Hearing happened not long after which turned out in our favor.  

Good luck!

Hi, I agree with others.  You should let the husband and ex-wife deal with this together.  Of course, you could always help husband but let that be in the background.  Put him in the limelight and not you.

Ex-wife once called me on the phone "complaining" about husband and all these "awful" things.  All I said to her was "hey, if you have issues with him, take them up to him".  I think she was really taken aback by my response.  Sad but I had foreseen it all coming -- her trying to "befriend" me for many wrong reasons.  She said we could have been "best friends"!  REALLY??????????????????????????????

Take care and I wish you all the best.  Cheer up! :-)