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Thanks for the info!

My attorney is wanting to get a GAL involved in our upcoming custody case. 

I've never dealt with a GAL before and was wanting to know what I should expect??

Thanks for all of your advice!  I really appreciate it.

I met with my attorney who said BM does not have a substantial reason to change custody at this time.  He is going to ask for a GAL to get involved.  He is also going to ask BM if she has any medical documentation to back up her claims that our son is "depressed". 

I guess we will see what happens next.

Hello all.  I am the custodial parent of my 13 year old son.  He has lived with me full time for 3 1/2 years now.  Before that,  his mother and I shared physical custody.

BM has gone through times when she doesn't see our son at all for weeks at a time, doesn't call either.  Then she will go through times when she asks for more time and spends as much time as she can with him.  Just never know what to expect with her.

I know my son loves his mom and wants to spend more time with her.

Two months ago, BM filed a motion with the courts asking for sole custody of our son.  BM is claiming that our son wants to live with her and that he is depressed and withdrawn living with me.

I did speak to my son and asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about.  He told me that he does not like having a bedtime and doesn't like having to check in with me.  At BM's he does neither, according to him. I see these as mere teen complaints that do not warrant a change in custody. 

My son, I'm sure, feels torn.  When he is with his BM, he wants to live with her........when he is with me, he is happy and wants to stay here.

I have been thinking about a 50/50 split but BM and I do not live in the same school district and I do not want my son to switch schools.  I was thinking about asking that my school district remain his school district and BM drive him to school on the days she has him.  It's about a 18 mile distance between BM's house and the school. She says that is too much running.  **I used to make the trip to take our son to school when he went to school in BM's district about 4 days a week**

Anyhow, I have a meeting with my attorney today and he seems confident that BM has no evidence to support her claims and that there has not been a substantial change to warrant changing custody.

I guess I'm just looking for advice from those who have been there/done that. 

Oh, our current situation is;  BM gets 3 weekends a month for parenting time, plus we rotate holidays.  She also has a midweek visit plus can take 5 weeks of summer vacation time.  In the last three years that he has lived here, BM has never taken more than a few days in the summer and has never practiced a midweek visit.  Most of the time she does not take him for all of the holiday time either, just the actual holiday day. 

Any words of wisdom here??

Thanks for the advice.

I am meeting with his school this week and talking with his teachers to see if they see any change in my son's behavior and demeanor lately.  Also going to see if the school counselor would be willing to talk to him.

I have offered BM more time.  She currently has 3 weekends a month, every other holiday, 5 weeks in the summer, and a mid week visit that are all Court ordered.  She has ONLY ever exercised the weekends and holiday visitation.  If our son does not have school and she wants to keep him an extra day, the answer has always been yes.  If she wants to pick him up early or keep him later, the answer has been yes.  So the time has been available to her if she wanted it.

I was speaking with  my son about this issue the other day and he told me that he doesn't like having a bedtime here and that he thinks he should be able to come and go without telling me where he is going.  He stated that his BM lets him stay up as late as he wants and go where he wants.

So I'm not sure even my son knows what he wants right now.

No, BM is not in the same school district. 

His grades are average......but still better than they were when he went to school where BM lives.

BM already gets 3 weekends a month with our son.  She has a midweek visit also but doesn't use it.  She also has 5 weeks available to her in the summer but has never used them. 

I have offered him more time at BM's but she doesn't want to take it.

So I'm really not sure what this is all about. 

I've talked to him a lot lately about all of this and he feels torn.  He wants more time with BM but isn't quite getting that it's not me that is standing in the way of that.  I think he feels that if he lived there with her again that he would get more of her attention. 

Thanks for the advice!

Hello.

I have been CP to my son for 3 1/2 years now.  Before I was CP, I shared legal and physical custody with my son's mother.

I was just served with a motion for a custody modification from my son's mother.  She is wanting sole legal and physical custody.  Her reasoning is that our son seems depressed and withdrawn and feels he cannot be himself while with me.  This is the only reason stated in the motion.

Our court date is not until the fall. 

I do not see this side of our son at all.  In fact, he is a happy kid who is always in good spirits and full of jokes, smiles and such.

What do I need to do to prepare for this?  Oh, our son is 13.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.