Messages

i like yours better.

on the grandchild front--i am not so sure that my dh wants to go. that is def between him and his son. i am not involved in that one.  he and i differ on feeling for that one. 

this kids are not going to come and visit. they both have said that.  the oldest (17) has a child due the next month and he doesn't want to miss any of that. the youngest (16) texted yesterday to send the letter because she does not want to spend time with him at all and will not spend her birthday here with his new family. 

the letter states:

i am aware that XX and XX wish to forego future obligated visits to the non-custodial parent. I will honor their wishes. All other aspects of the parenting plan will remain in effect and I will not be responsible for any travel expenses unless all other requirements have been met/agreed to prior to travel.

I like yours that says that the visitation and support are two different issues w the family court. She wants to go to court and get it ordered for us to pay for those expenses.  The remark about other requirements is in regards to medication that needs to be taken by the NCP, it is her nice way of poking at him that he is "half the man he used to be ...."--he has to provide a letter from his physician that he is in compliance with taking meds, however, she has allowed the children to come down prior twice without him being on meds, but the dr indicating he was "ok" to have children here. 

thoughts? 


my snarky side of me that wants to just be a witch would love ot say "i am not giving you this letter because i think the judge will side with you, but I am sending it because i don't want the kids to have to be miserable when they are here, consequently making everyone else miserable because they don't get their way".

Thanks ocean.  Part of me wants to send a letter to her--we have one typed up, but I am unsure of how to word it so that we are protected. 

The other issues, I don't truthfully care about. The courts will make the decision whether I want to pay or not...haha.  It is the constant not knowing that I frustrating. I don't know how a BM can claim everything is in the best interest of the their child, yet not trying to fix whatever problems are there and at helping to facilitate a relationship with the NCP.   

Any expenses will be in proportionate--the proportionate split would go to approximately 70% her 30% him (he is disabled from the military and currently going to school for re-integration into the workforce, but won't be done for a few years, due to his disability, he is unable to go full-time)

Thanks for your words of advice.

The last two months have been so rough. It started with the wonderful(NOT) ex sending a text message that she was taking us to court.

This stems from the fact that the kids don't want to come and visit because they don't get to do whatever they want and have to adhere to rules. She wants a letter stating that the kids don't have to come and if we don't give her a letter, she will commence legal action to do the following:

pay for drivers education for 2 kids
pay for extracurricular activities
pay for two cars for the 2 kids
pay for auto insurance for the kids
pay for college classes, books while they are in high school

But of course, if we send a letter, then things will just be peachy keen. We have asked for her to send us a letter basically stating the same thing that she is asking us for--that she won't sue us for contempt for not exercising the visitation rights. She has already paid for a Ragnar Relay for the daughter, flying the cousin up for a few weeks, a couple of wrestling camps for the dgtr--all while they are supposed to be here. Oh, and let's not forget that SS has a baby due about 6 weeks after they get here and he doesn't want to leave his gf.

The problem with that is, based on past history, this woman will turn around and threaten to sue next month when she doesn't get her way or if her precious offspring don't get their way.

There are no less than 50 threats all via text the last two months of "I will be taking you to court unless you do as I tell you". There is no compromise, there is no alternative, just do it my way. Now the KIDS are involved and telling my DH the same thing (via text--we have tried the "we aren't discussing with you, we will discuss with BM). WHO does that?

We live several states away from them and don't even know who to ask to find a good father's rights atty.  We did attempt to mediate--which is what the parenting plan says to do--on the visitation issue. Just so we could open up dialogue again, but the BM was not open to that. 

So, we have made the difficult decision to let it play out in court. There is no other way to get her off of our back. The constant threats have just gotten old and are bordering on harassment.

The only GOOD news is....she has gotten rid of daddy as her attorney and is hiring another one. But that takes the emotion out of it--which is the problem we had last year. The bad news is--I don't know who it is yet .

So, does anyone know any good father's rights attorneys in Washington State (tri-city area, Seattle/Tacoma/Port Orchard)?

The issue isn't of the kids coming really--they are old enough to make that decision, the issue is that the whole family dynamic is screwed up and the constant threats anytime she doesn't get her way (we were sued several times last year--right after I got married--and neither time was I in contempt, the courts sided with me. The mother is telling all kind of crap to the kids and it is starting to affect the relationship that the father/child has. Not only that, I want to know what exactly we are going to be stuck paying for after her kids turn 18.


Thank you SO much for any help you can give!!!!