Messages

Thank you Ocean, well written, i will use it Sunday night before he goes over. Dont want to see nasty emails over the weekend.

So i finally emailed her this:

I do not agree that AJ can be left home alone after school and other times. Please correct this, if you cannot he is welcome to take the bus to my home. There is someone always at our house. Morgan, my father or myself. I do not need or want an explanation or your opinion.


and received this:

Not that I need to explain to you.


not sure what i will do from here

Thanks. I am thinking hard about how to handle the after school. Sometimes my other daughters are around.

I hate even sending her an email because ill get a nasty respone and my blood pressure and anxiety goes up.

On the Child support, im not worried, as it gets taken out automatically, the state was late ( by 1 day on a Friday so she didnt get the money it till monday) and she was all over me that weekend. Its just ridiculous. She accused me of all sorts of things.

Now, she took me back for a modification and she had "lied" about some things and some other things happened and we are waiting for the court order, but from what we can tell its half of what we used to pay. We paid $1200 for one child!!! She was insisting on paying helathcare even though i was, lied about how many she claimed on her returns, cancelledd day care and didnt inform them.

THe lower payment is awesome, but she will be super angry. and we are bracing ourselves.

I want my daughter to live comfortable and dont mind paying support, but $1200 a month? ALl the other kids were affected because of that.

In the end there is justice.

THis is a great forum and i am sure it has helped countless people.

Thank you, i appreciate the ideas. I have sent her old pcitures, now and then and we always had a family dinner on sundays so ive been inviting her about twice a month. Ive been confused as to how to handle, i dont want to cater and beg, but be firm, loving and there for her.

Not sure what to do about the 10 year old, i just dont think its good for him to be there alone, he has all his friends here, and there is always an adult or his 16 year old step sister who adores him, has him do his homework.

I am trying to do that, ignore the nasty part of the emails, but she gets us so worked up with threats of court and this and that. Then i spend an hour reading laws and googling things. I am in the right, but it doesnt mean she cant cause problems.

I think this book will help me i bought, ive read alot on this site and everyone is very helpful. Its nice to know there are people like us out there and that they care. going through the same things.

thanks Mixed bag, ordered book on amazon, will be here by the weekend.

Please help me and my daughter resolve this issue before it hurts her further.
Ill try and be brief and just state the important facts:

I have a 16 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I have not had visitation with her in over a year as she refuses to visit. ( does not like my fiance). My son adores my fiance. My 19 year old daughter also gets along well with my Fiance. 19 year old lives with ex-wife ( she moved out because she was mad and is not allowed to move back in).

There were times when i had both daughters for a year a legally majority of the time, i did not file for child support, as we make similar incomes ( she actually makes about 20% more).

Ex-wife filed for support, got a LARGE support payment, then 7 months later, filed for a modification and ( HAHAHA) had it reduced to half because my lawyer and i found out she was not giving correct information and some other things.

This has cost me alot of money with lawyers and the money she ( i would argue) illegally obtained with the support payments.

I have asked ex wife many times to support me and let us see a counselor, she has just returned with " i cant force her to do anything" " Its not good for her"

I cannot easily prove it, but she does disparage me directly and indirectly in front of the children.
A direct one that i can prove, is she invited my second ex-wife( yes i know, i am going on three but i believe in love) to her house in front of my children, they have the same lawyer and were discussing how they can go after me. Having the second exwife there with their custodial mother alone i think is a terrible thing for the 10 year old to see.

She constantly sends nasty texts and emails, usually around when something good happens in my life such as a vacation or such.

She has ridiculed the rules in our house with the children ( not to us but to them)

Recently, her support payment was late ( its taken out of my check automatically so i had nothing to do with it), she sent 3 nasty emails accusing me of losing my job and that i would be taken to court.

I am exhausted and quite frankly mentally damaged because of her, i feel bullied. I want a relationship with my daughter, i am afriad she will do the same with my son, and that will be the last straw and i will lose all sanity if dont have him.

I dont have money to use a lawyer to file a custody complaint. I dont think i have actual 50/50 custody, its just stated in the settlement agreement, and likewise i dont think she does either.

IF anyone has any ideas how i may get some help for me and my children I would be eternally grateful.

THank You and God Bless.


PS another important note. She has decided to let the 10 year old come home to her house on her weeks alone. I do not agree with this. I can have a sitter at my home ( his step sister and or my father and myself) but my exwife refuses for obviuos reasons. He is 10, they should not be home alone for 2 hours.