Messages

I am sorry, keep your head high, most important thing to do, is goto college get that higher education.  You may have lost now, you may be at wits end as well but when everything settles you'll adapt.  Welcome...

well the problem with the great idea's on the system, is our society lacks the compasion for such a great change to occur.  The Father's are busy getting punished by society for having a child and having a failed marriage for whatever the means are.  Of course their is a small minority of women, who are not the CP, but for the majority, the women, seem to have final say in this system.  It's a sad truth, as far as reform, its not going to happen, with CSE, we have created more jobs, for single mother's, and even more beuacracy, let's not forget that not only are we taking care of our children theorhetically, we are also taking care of our government.  This is a form of socialism that politicians do not wanna change, nor will they.  you got jail for not paying CS, its a plus for the state federal aid, you end up feeding another part of the government.  Not to mention more then likely CP will goto welfare, another plus for the state you'll end up paying them back.  Goes on and on and on, this is a calculated strategic dychotomy, masked by the greater welfare of the child.  Just in  life, its all about position.  Sorry if I sound negative, but this is the underlining truth.

1, as active as possible.   The divorce between me and my X, destroyed me financially, I lived with relatives for quite sometime, I did my best to have a setting for my daughter.  With the child support, and the in and out of jobs and my schedule it was hard.  I did the best I could.  But now 7 years later I have rebuilt myself on a more solid foundation.  When people say divorce is hard, its no joke, you will find strength in you and use muscles you never thought you had.  It is acceptable for the CP, to use the well you were not in your child's life that much, it is hard when you are out slaving away for the state and your child to support your child.  Let me express, that I pay over 500 dollars a month for my child AND court ordered to provide health insurance.  Now, failure is not an option in this scenerio, I cannot lose my job, and must do everything in my realm of reasoning to pay my child support or face the dire consiquence for not doing so.  So at times no I could not see my child the way I wished I could. Not to mention my child lives a half hour away.  BUT with further relations with her school, they recieved my final judgement I am noted as to be contacted in case of an emergency now, I also have the right to come and eat lunch with her during the day, and meet with her teacher, not to mention I have learned she is having attendance issues, and it has been brought to the CP's attention.  Yes the BP? not sure what BP means, but yes i has been proven, she goes to the doctor all the time.  Now problem with the ex clinging to my daughter is its not healthy.  Having your child affraid to goto school, or see their other parent because their affraid your going to die, when your gone is not healthy.  Me and my wife think its a form of mental abuse.  The illness is not proven to be fatal.  I really don't wanna vent about this, I want to be able to see my child.  I guess the only answer is to get a lawyer, and take it to court.  But if I have to spend the money to goto court I am not going to pussyfoot around, I am going to go for everything, modify my custody, perhaps to sole, I have a case, yet the levity the biggest disfunction in this is the way the NP is treated, dear lord, men, we pay our cs we expect to see our children, period, when the other refuses and stirs up problems we have no support from the government, we have no lawyers sending nasty letters, child support enforcement is bad.  In a way it even discriminates gender.  But time to get a lawyer.  Any advice please send it my way, anyone know of good lawyers with pay plans, or low fee's please let me know.

ONE OTHER THING  if it was not for this site, I would have never knew all my rights.  Like with the school..  I had no idea how to aproach it.  Thank god for this site.  

hey guys, it seems allot of you guys are having as much fun as me.  Anyhow opinions and experiences requested as answers PLEASE.

I just got remarried, and my wife has a kid, my ex will not let my kid come visit me at my house with my new wife and step son, because she says the step son is to ruff with her.  I am being told my daughter does not want to come over.  this has been going on since November.  Btw this site, DO not fall off the internet.  Anyhow, I am going to write out one of the letters here about violating my visitations.  There is no reasoning going on now, more or less, I am being accussed by her as being a bad Father, for allowing my step son to horse play with her or whatever.  I feel its an attack on my new wife, I find it interesting, that us men when we stop paying child support for whatever reason, normally because something bad happens, We have the witch hunt come down upon us from the heavens.  But when the Mothers refuse to follow the rules, it cost money and time to get anything done.  I swear if I have to goto court I'm sending her to jail.  I can't afford this right now, not sure what I need to do to see my Daughter and at the same damn time she is being brainwashed.  Their is nothing I can do.  Also, About a custody matter, my ex is terminally ill, she has a Tumor in her head, she is not working and is trying in addition to her CS, trying to get on Disability, What are my chances on trying to gain custody?  Me and my wife are stable have a house, and work, my ex does not has been divorced 3 times, has a kid from another man as well, and since my daughter is 7 now she has lived wow 8 places.  In addition I am just now contacting my daughter's school, I talked to her teacher last night, my daughter is getting good grades, her attendance is not good thou.  the guidence councelor called me today saying they could not give me any other info until I send a custody form or whatever, so I contacted the clerk of court and had them fax over my final judgement from the divorce that states both parties shall share parental rights.  I feel it is horrible how US Father's are treated, by the women behind the desk's.  So I faxed over the info and have been trying to call this lady back since, left 2 voicemail's and am wondering why she has not called back.  Oh it get better in case of an emergency, my ex did not have me down as a contact, so I am trying to fix that, and I am trying to get as much info as I can thru the state on my Daughter's mental status, my daughter is afraid to leave my Ex's side because she thinks she will die.  Is that abuse?  In addition the teacher said the school was under the impression when my daughter is absent that she is needed at home because the ex has a tumor, totally playing the sympathy card on these people.  What are my options men, tell me what I need to do now?  to see my kid?  Oh I also told the ex to stop calling and sending text messages, stupid text messages asking me if I am still paying child support and what not, um yes I am, leave me alone.  SO I told her to send me mail via US snail mail.  I also requested my daughter call me friday to arrange a child pick up.  What do I need to do men?  Please help. If lawyer is the greatest answer, I can't afford one.  Seriously, need options on that.
PEACE