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Dear Socrateaser / Petition question
« on: Mar 02, 2007, 08:04:38 AM »
Good mornign Soc,

In trying to work up a petition I am at a point where I need to ask you opinion / assistance.

Many of the things being alledged in the petition for contemt are based on perivious findings of the court, discovery violations, visitation denials, failure to mediate, providing false information to school, dr's etc.  I have the petition written but would like to make a note of the previous findings of the court to show a continuing pattern and history and justify my asking for attorney's fees.

1.  How do I incorporate this passage in my petition?

In asking for CS modification, I have several change of circumstances, ie court used BM original income from 1996 even tho she has held multiple jobs since 1996 and currenly is reported at a 35% weekly decrease than waht is being used for CS calculation, BF income was used from 1997, child no longer in day care, etc. even tho the court did a new CS calculation in 2003 it used the above from 1996, 1997.

2.  How do I point this out to the court as a basis of my modification without cioming off as being accusatory?

Dear Socrateaser / how would you??
« on: Feb 22, 2007, 05:59:14 AM »
Soc, IN here, order states:

"When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time."

Child has stated on several occasions that BM has left the state and left my child in the care of neighbors or scout parents without notifying BF.  BF lives less that 5 miles from the child and the BM's home and can easily transport child to/from school.  

1.  I know who these folks are that cared for my child but how do I prove and get evidence for court?

Dear Socrateaser / CS question and Prosupp question
« on: Feb 09, 2007, 11:25:33 AM »
Good afternoon Soc,

I will try and be brief.

QUestion #1. Several years ago, BF's incme was imputed for CS, since then father has been working steadily and making $125 week less than what is imputed - is imputed income never going to change or can we file for new mod based on current income?

Quesiton #2 - Sometime ago I wrote you regarding BM contempt findings and order to pay BF attorney fees.  Since then BM failed to pay in court ordered time, automatic judgement in favor of our attorney, filed for prosupp hearing,  BM failed to show up for court for hearing, filed a second hearing BM showed up but negotiated a deal and agreed to pay within 2 months, documented on court docket, BM failed to pay due to her agreement terms.  New court date coming up, what should I expect?

THanks for everything, have a great weekend!

Dear Socrateaser / Dilemma - comments help please
« on: Jan 08, 2007, 03:47:04 AM »
Good morning Soc,

I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your family!

I am BF/NCP.  Case is in IN.

Over the weekend 15 son came for weekend as per parenting plan, we had  numerous conversations as always about all topics of life etc, however this time a twist and I need your help.

Son came out the door from home BM on Friday afternoon storming from the house yelling at her, once in car he explained that she is on his case - so I listened.  Since she is admittedly violent and physically abusive (in court records) and on prozac, and since I have been the brunt of her beatings I see hints of problems to come in the future between the two of them however I maintained my cool, let him speak and we discussed the matter in detail.  My issue is that he said some things including drinking and leaving his home and coming here to live.  

Given that his mother refuses to speak to me in any way shape or form, including refusing to answer her phone and return a message (if by chance the machine is one which it usually is not).  I thought about calling the police and asking them to assist, however I do not want the child to have a record of any sort since he has ambitions of going to the military and do not want to blemish his record.  

My question is as followss;

1.  How do I handle this situation if/when he shows up some late night at my home?

2.  What if he has been drinking?

3.  If I call and notify her and then have son talk to her, and request that she allow son to cool down and stay the night, telling her we get him to school the next morning and she refuses, how do I handle that and make my son believe I have not betrayed him since I do not have custody?

My concerns are that she will somehow twist this around (as she has done previously and filed false police reports) that we kidnapped him or something to that nature.

Dear Socrateaser / Merry Christmas to you and yours!
« on: Dec 22, 2006, 04:38:33 PM »

I am sure I speak for many of here to wish you the very best during the holiday season.  I hope you get rest, enjoy the time with your family and reflect on good memories!

Thanks for all you do here for all of us!

A Very Merry Christmas to you!

Dear Socrateaser / court order question
« on: Dec 19, 2006, 11:23:30 AM »
Soc,  new thread for easy reading, you know how wordy I can get!  LOL

Court order of MArch 06 stated BM to pay BF attorney fees within 90 days or failure to pay results in automatic judgement in favor of our attorney's firm.  BM also in comtempt for failure to abide by 2 court orders.

90 days pass and BM did not pay in full as ordered by court, judgement entered, pro supp filed and OTA entered for August court date.

BM nor atrorney appear in in August for court.  Attorney files for another court date and OTA for BM To explain why she failed to appear.  COurt date set for October.

October - she and her attorney, our attorney and our sub attorney all agreed out of court she will pay remainder or balance and all attorneys fees in 60 days. Court entered notice of such.

60 days go by and she failed to pay.  She has multiple comtempts for failing to comply with the court, and multiple judgements for her failure to pay her debts.  This is not a money issue, she just paid out 500 plus for school ring (for a freshman)  sport equipment and got child a cell phone.

Our attorney has adjusted our bill to not reflect this outstanding debt she has failed to pay so I am not on the hook for that, but want her to be held accountable for her actions.

1.  any ideas on how this should be handled?

Dear Socrateaser / Who's Weekend Is it?
« on: Dec 19, 2006, 05:18:09 AM »

IN here, both parties court ordered to follow the Indiana parenting time guidlines to the T.  

NCP to get EOW and holidays expressed within guidelines.

Dec 15-17 - CP weekend, one childs b day on the 17th (Sunday)  "In even numbered years the non-custodial parent shall have all of the children on each child’s birthday from 9:00 A.M. until 9:00 P.M." - NCP had all children Sunday 9-9.

The next 2 weekends pan out like this due to the guidelines:

Dec 22-24 - CP has this weekend due to the xmas holiday provision "One-half of the period which will begin at 8:00 P.M. on the evening the child is released from school and continues to December 30 at 7:00 P.M."  Childs winter break starts on Wed at 8 PM.

Dec 29-31, will be split as NCP will have the children until Saturday the 30th at 7 PM, when CP then has them for New Years holiday.

Who's weekend then does it become Jan 5-7?  


"The Holiday Parenting Time Schedule shall take precedence over regularly scheduled and extended parenting time.  Extended parenting time takes precedence over regular parenting time unless otherwise indicated in these Guidelines.

If the non-custodial parent misses a regular weekend because it is the custodial parent’s holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume following the holiday.  If the non-custodial parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume the following weekend with the custodial parent."

Dear Socrateaser / What do we say to this?
« on: Nov 10, 2006, 06:15:05 PM »

all parties in IN, as well as all court orders.

Court orders pertaining to this situation provide for SM to pick up child in place of BF as his representative.  BF to have parenting time EOW from 6 to 6 and to be availalbe at the residence of the CP, BM is to tell BF as far in advance of any activity on his time to either work out alternate arrangements or decide if child is to go due to pre scheduled activities with BF, neither party is to involve the child in their disputes in regards to parenting times and the child is not to act as a go between.

This evening when I went to get SS, BM said he would be a few min and slammed door in my face, when SS comes out at 610 he says on way to car that he has a school activity at 630.  I said we did not know and did his mom talk to his dad he said no.  When we got in the car I handed him my cell phone and asked him to call his mother and ask her to work it out with his dad (she calls me a whore, flips me off and will not speak to me - all this is docucmented in court with the GAL's report) BM refuses to answer home or cell phone, so SS leaves a message to contact dad.  I called dad and asked his what we should do that I felt uncomfortable in that I had nothing from BM that said he had any activity and not that I do not trust SS, he is a child and I was not going to leave him some place on a minors word with no confirmation that this was indeed a school function that he was to attend.

BM finally calls back nearly an hour after child was to be at the school and leaves a mesasge that "SS was negligible for not contacting BF earlier in the week and that SS left 2 phone messages earlier today and if we caused him to not go then SS would face repercussions in school...etc etc etc.  When we got home tonight there were 2 prior calls from SS - but both on home phone and he knew we were both at work and no call was ever placed to either cell phone or to our work.  As a parent I would never allow my kids to go anywhere without speaking to antoher parent with whom my child was to be with.  

The court order does not give me the authority to take and drop off the child anywhere I see fit without the knowledge of his father while in our care.  When I called BF he had heard nothing from BM or anything to confirm this activity.  So he said he was only comfortable with having the child with us since nothing was discussed otherwise.

1.  From a parents point of view I believe I was 110% correct in my handling of the situation, but legally in the best interest of the child, how would the court rule, towards the function or his safety?

Dear Socrateaser / court yesterday -
« on: Sep 28, 2006, 09:56:27 AM »
Soc (changed and spelling corrected :)  )

updated in post below!


Dear Socrateaser / how to handle question
« on: Sep 14, 2006, 05:50:19 AM »
Good morning Soc!

IN here, order states that CP (BM) should provide all clothing necessary for the child while in the care of the NCP.  

In the past we have had a rich 12 year history of BM not providing athletic uniforms, special occation clothing or musical instruments for the child when he comes to us for the weekend/holidays.  She uses this situation to create a hostile confrontation during our time with the child and in front of him.  We have had everything from calling 911 with allegations of holdiong the child hostage (when she refused to give us baseball uniform and we asked her at the game for it) to not giving us the musical instrument and comeing to our home and causing a terrible scene at our door, or to undress and re dress the child in public in his uniform becasue she would not give us his uniform to clothe the child for an activity.

I (SM) have been going to get the child due to BF's work schedule, this is fine and addressed in the order.  Now that SS is in HS and in marching band he has several weekends over the next 3 months that he has competitions, tomorrow when I go to get him, I have every reason to believe that BM will refuse to give the child his uniform and instrument in order for him to have it for his comeptiton and she will use that to create some uncomfortable sitation, it has also been addressed by the GAL and the Mediator that her hostility towards me is unfounded and immature.  Therefore I believe it to be a double whammy for the child in that she will refuse to give him his things necessary for his compititions in weeks to come becasue I am there.  She has significant control over the child in order to intimidate him to not bring his things if she so demands, and is an admitted abuser in court records.  

In the past we have just said if it is not priovided and he did not want to go then he did not have to go, however, as he is older and this is for a academic grade it is in his best interest to go, but BF and I are baffled as we also believe it is in his best interests and our other child to not endure a hostile confrontation.

1. How should I handle this at the door tomorrow when I go to get him if he is not allowed to bring his things?  

Sorry to be so wordy, that is one of my downfalls in order to explain the situation...........

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