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What is the name of your state? WI

One of these days I'll be done with this crap.....

short recap....

I filed motion for remedial contempt and for clarification of the court order and determination of school district......

we tried to mediate- didn't work

we were appointed GAL....everything was moving along, we have a court date for June 20

some of the letters, and also a request for totally irrelevant info from the GAL have me concerned that ex is going to try to go for the whole enchilada on wednesday, as in try to totally modify custody (in the past he has threatened to try to get sole custody)

so- there are these new request for info, obviously ex is totally bashing me to anyone who will listen, and I am scared they are listening (even though we tell people-never bash the ex)

feeling out my options here....would it be prudent for me to request a continuance on wednesday and thereby give myself some time for discovery (which the demand cannot be made soone than 30 days before court) and figure out what exactly they are up to?

What is the name of your state? WI



Present order 50/50 placement of child, no CP named, joint legal custody.

I filed for remedial contempt of court in October, the contempt was set aside, but my request for a more clear order was granted, and we were ordered to mediation. At that court date the judge ordered ex to inform me of any and all medical dental etc appointments that he sets for the child- this was written into the record.

I find out today that ex has taken child to medical dr once, dentist twice and a counselor 3 times since this was written into the record.

Our case is still pending, mediation did not work, we have been assigned and both met with GAL.

I would like to file contempt for the 6 appointments I was not informed about.

Questions:

1. It was written into the record, but because the case is still pending and there is no specific order, is it still contempt?

2. Strategy-wise is filing contempt at this juncture good or bad for my case?

Hello again Socrateaser!

All parties  and order in WI.

Little background, I have two children from 2 fathers. I have started court motions recently regarding both children. The older child I am the NCM for and the younger I have a 50/50 split with dad- no cp designation.

The older child I have filed a motion for modification of physical custody with the request of a new parenting plan if the judge does not see fit to transfer custody. The younger child I have filed to have the school district determined and a parenting plan put in place, as there wasn't one previously.

The father of the younger child (and his family) were instrumental in the case transfer custody of my older child to dad.

As I am taking both fathers back to court, I have no reason to doubt they won't try to help each other again. Actually due to things I have heard, I have every reason to believe they will help each other and testify on each others behalf.

I have not been found unfit by any judge or court, the judge in my son's case actually said I provide the better environment but because my son had lived with dad for the duration of the court case under an ex parte order, that he didn't want to disrupt his life again now that he had adjusted.

Questions:

1. In Wisconsin do I have to make any type of formal request to open discovery?

2. What type of request do I make to find out who will be called as witnesses?

3. How do I best use interrogatories and/or depositions? Can I use both?

4. In my younger child's case, I believe the father will call the father of the older child as a witness in some capacity- however the father of the older child has never once seen me interact with the younger child at all- I believe any testimony from him will be of the character assassination variety. Is there a way I can prohibit him from tesifying?

5. Is it in my interests to make the court aware of this "teamwork" on the part of the fathers? How do the courts view this type of thing?

I guess that's all for now- although I'm sure to have more questions, I am so grateful you are here.

Hello Socrateaser-

All parties and order in WI.

In October I filed a motion for remedial contempt and clarification of the court order regarding my daughter.

We went to the first court date, the judge said he was going to set aside the contempt for now (I expected that would happen) but he did see the need for a new order. He then order us to mediation.

Today is our first session in mediation. Saturday I recieved in the mail a motion from my ex's attorney requesting a new court order, there was no proposed parenting plan attached to this motion as is required.

I am confused, questions...

1. Is this motion even valid since what they are requesting is what I requested and already filed on?

2. Since they did not include a parenting plan as is required, does that mean the judge can only really consider the one attached with my motion?

3. How should I respond to this motion, or should I at all?


As always, thank you for your time and expertise.

Hello again Soc!

I am asking this question for a friend.

She lives in Michigan, which I believe is a 2 party state when it comes to recording phone calls.

She is a non-custodial mom and is thinking of going back to court.

A very big frustration for her is the fact that when she calls to talk with the children, dad makes them have the conversation on speaker phone with him in the room dictating what they are to say to her, or just interjecting himself with abusive comments to her directly- which the children of course hear.

This behavior of his is contrary to the part of their court order that states they are not to make disparaging remarks about each other in front of or around the children.


Because it is a phone call with her own children does she need two party notification?

Or do you have a suggestion on how she might gather evidence of this in order to present it to the judge?

Hi again Soc!

All parties and order in WI.

Last month I filed a motion for modifcation/clarification regarding my son. The court date is next monday.

My son came to me this weekend and send his stepmother-dad's gf, not wife, had been in another fight with the neighbor. It sounds like they get into screaming matches frequently, however this time it escalated into a serious physical altercation in front of my son.

This woman has 6 felony convictions, 3 disorderly conduct conviction, 3 telephone harrassment convictions, during court the judge said she had every reason to behave properly around my son because she is on a 5 year stayed prison sentence with probation. However, one of her disorderly conduct convictions came after her probation started, as did the harrassment convictions and this altercation.

Questions:
1. Am I entitled the a copy of the police report regarding this newest altercation?

2. How do I go about including this incident in the motion that has already been filed?

3. Is this an appropriate issue for an exparte motion? It appears my son was right there when the women came to blows, and it got so heated that one of them- I haven't questioned my son so I only have the info he volunteered- got into their vehicle and ran into the other with it.

4. Can I get a restraining order barring this woman from being around my son?

5. Have also been trying serve dad the motion to the court, he is refusing to accept anything that anyone tries tohand to him. If this refusal is recorded on video, am I covered for the event that he successfully dodges being served? In my state anyone over 18 can serve the documents, if dad is in his car, can my server place the paperwork under his wiper and that be considered sucessful service?

 

Hello Socrateaser!

All parties and order in WI.

Child is 4.5 years old, court order 50/50 legal/physical- week on, week off schedule, no cp indicated.

Hopefully I will be able to accurately detail the logistics so the situation is clear. I live in town A, Dad lives 18 miles to the west of me in a rural area, the closest town to Dad is 16 miles to his north and 26 miles northwest of my town.


Child has been going to childcare in the town north of Dad during his weeks, and to a daycare in my town during my weeks. Actually my daycare is as close to dad as the one he uses- but he just refuses anything in regards to me.

During the spring of this year Dad and I talked about putting child into 4 year old kindergarten, he wanted her in his district because it's "richer" and I wanted her in my district because, with the bus routes we can still maitain our every other week rotation. If she went to school in his district I  would have to be late to work every day and leave work 2 hours early every day- just not feasible. So we agreed to not enroll her and discuss the school issue over the next year.

Last week daughter said something to me about her "new big kids school",  so I called her daycare up in dad's town under the ruse of updating my contact info where they told me he had taken her out of that school over 4 weeks ago.

I tried many times to speak with him about this and he kept dodging. Finally he said he had put her in a 4k program at a parochial- lutheran (neither of us are lutheran). He also said he did not need to discuss this with me.

I believe that his intention is to create a staus quo situation so that when school does roll around he can say- she has been attending "this" district for a year already- change would be detrimental at this point. Which if the judge agreed would necessitate changing the periods of placement and minimize my time with our daughter.

So I filed for remedial contempt, relief sought being the court demanding he follow the order, clarification of the order, and a designation that when she does attend school it will be in my school district to protect the current time allocation in place. I did not ask for any change in actual time, or legal or physical custody status.

Questions:

1. Was this the right approach in your opinion? Would it have been more effective to just go for primary placement right away?

2. With the current placement schedule having been in place for almost 2 years now, is it likely the court would want to preserve that status quo as I have requested?

3. What am a missing? Is there a big facet of this that I have overlooked or should pay closer attention to?

Thank you so much for all of your help.

Hello again Soc

All parties and order in WI

My ex has been with-holding information regarding our son from me, he also refuses to discuss anything regarding our son with me. I recently, on accident found out his email address. I emailed him stating that I though email would be a great tool for us to use to communicate about child, it would be calm, non emotional and able to be dealt with as our daily schedules allowed- rather than a phone call that basically stops everything.

He stated that he refuses to email with me, he also said on the phone that he will not discuss anything with me, he also has never answered any letter I have sent him.

I am growing more and more frustrated with being cut out of our son's life like this.

I posted before about my last attorney and my dissatisfaction with his services. I am reluctant, and at this point can't afford to use him any more anyway and was planning to represent myself in filing for a motion for modification this week.

As a last attempt to allow ex to do the right thing, I forwarded the email's to ex's attorney and asked him to find out the answers to my inquiries since his client refuses to communicate. He sent me back an email stating that I would have to contact him through my attorney and he would not talk to me until he had it in writing from both me AND my old attorney that I am no longer represented.

I emailed back saying that I no longer have an attorney, and will be handling all matters myself.

I don't understand why I basically need a "permission slip" for someone to give me some answers- answers that I am entitled to by law.

So questions:

1. Must I contact old attorney and have him contact ex's attorney?
2. Why is this necessary?
3. Why is my word not good enough?
4. Is this normal procedure or am I getting stonewalled?
 

All parties and order in Wisconsin



I don't know if I said this in any of the earlier posts- but at the end of August I had supplied EX/CP with a calendar for the upcoming 12 month period (just as I had done last year). With this calendar I included a letter stating if he didn't agree with the schedule to please respond in writing by september 1, with alternate dates etc.otherwise the schedule would stand and be enforceable.

He never responded in writing- said his lawyer said he didn't have to, he just threw the calendar into my car saying it was wrong and everything would have to change. Because he was being so irrational and a conversation was not able to be had, I told him to get out of my car- he was leaning in the window and I left. Then he denied my weekend time with son.

Current Hubby and I went on vacation this weekend- been planned for 3 months based on the visitation schedule that had been in place. From our rented cabin 4.5 hours away I called son on Friday night at 6:30 like I call every night. Ex of course will never answers the phone when I call, I must always leave a message saying "have son call me" then about 15-20 minutes later he will have son call back (this is the routine every single time I call)- so son called back and said he was on his way to see me- I was flabbergasted. I had had no contact- no communication whatsoever from ex all week. So I told son to let me talk to dad.

Dad gets on the phone very angrily asking why I am not going to be at the swap(they are already over halfway there) I try to explain and once again he just blusters over me. So after 4 minutes of not being able to get anything said I just hang up.

I have all the stuff for my motion just about done- will be filing next monday- he will probably deny the upcoming weekend, which would be the second weekend in the normal rotation that is denied.

Questions:

1. Will me not having son this past weekend hurt my motion to the court?

2. I am filing for Modification for placement - with the understanding that that request has a slim chance of actually being granted- what is the exact wording I need to use for if the judge does not see grounds to change placement then he would at least clarify the order?

3. I have a proposed parenting plan, basically what I would like to see happened if placement is not changed- do I include this with my initial filing of the motion or do I wait for the judge to deny the mod and then file it with a motion for clarification?

4. By him not properly responding to the letter about the schedule- or even communicating what he thought the schedule should- how does that affect the situation? does it help me in court? hurt me in court?

Thanks You so much for your help

All parties and Order in Wisconsin


Ok, well what I expected would happen looks like it's going to happen, ex is going to deny my weekend. I will be taking this back to court.

again, my order is as follows:

A. School Year (EX) shall have primary physical placement of (child) during the school year which shall be defined as one week prior to the start of the school year until the Sunday after the last day of school. (ME) will have secondary placement during the school year every other weekend and during those days in which school is not in session except for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

B. Summer (ME) shall have physical placement of (child) during the summer which shall be defined as commencing the Sunday after the last day of school and ending one week prior to the beginning of the school year. (EX) shall have secondary placement every other weekend during the summer and additional uninterrupted seven day period. (EX) shall notify ( ME) at least 60 days in advance of the 7 day period of extra placement during the summer.

C. Holidays The parties shall share the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in a manner to be determined by the parties. Regardless of placement (ME) shall have placement during the Mother's Day weekend and (EX) shall have placement during the Father's day weekend.

Additional info that, I hope, justifies filing-

CP not co-parenting- I am informed of nothing

Contempt for CP- not telling me about any medical information at all- including who son's doctor is

CP not getting son into some sort of counseling- which was ordered by the judge but that CP's lawyer conveniently left out of the order...transcripts will show this

Son being exposed to a felon who continues to break the law- convicted-and just signed a plea agreement for 3 more charges and threatened to kill me (She is on a 5 year probation/stayed prison sentence for drug dealing felonies- the judge said that she had every reason to behave properly and should not be a risk/bad influence to the child)

SM also filed false CPS report against mom while SM was on bond with no contact no harrassment provisions- case has been closed and awaiting paperwork and phone records to follow up with pressing more charges

Rats/Mice in their home - Son said it was a rat- insisted it was a rat even though I said it was probably a mouse but then when he saw me start to go into freak out mode he quickly said it was a mouse

CP allowing son to play outside alone, unsupervised even though 2 convicted sex offenders live in that same trailer court- one of them 2 doors down

Not being informed about school at all, conferences, report cards anything- I make a point to fond out who son's teachers are and contact them 2x per month for updates and such- CP does not know I do this- CP was extremely irritated when I showed up to the parent techer conference

CP NEVER allowing make up time- even though I cooperate and and try to be flexible and agree for son to attend their events that occur during my time


The questions I have, and have gotten various answers from different sources, but I want to make my trips to court as effective as possible.

My thought is to file for Contempt and Modification of Placement right away listing everything out and then to include a clarification request so if the judge is not inclined to change custody he can just clarify the exsisting order.

My thinking is- because the case was soooo close before, what has happened since might just be enough to get kiddo back to me- I do realize this really is a long shot- but if I don't ask I definitely won't get it.

I have been told that this is not really a sound strategy- kind of like trying to win a baseball game with a home run in the first inning.

1. So, any advice on strategy?

2. Can including the request for modification hurt my case?

3. If a party is Pro Se, how exactly do they get their own testimony before the court? The can't exactly question themselves as if they had a lawyer.

All parties and order Wisconsin

Court order word for word-

A. School Year (EX) shall have primary physical placement of (child) during the school year which shall be defined as one week prior to the start of the school year until the Sunday after the last day of school. (ME) will have secondary placement during the school year every other weekend and during those days in which school is not in session except for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

B. Summer (ME) shall have physical placement of (child) during the summer which shall be defined as commencing the Sunday after the last day of school and ending one week prior to the beginning of the school year. (EX) shall have secondary placement every other weekend during the summer and additional uninterrupted seven day period. (EX) shall notify ( ME) at least 60 days in advance of the 7 day period of extra placement during the summer.

C. Holidays The parties shall share the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in a manner to be determined by the parties. Regardless of placement (ME) shall have placement during the Mother's Day weekend and (EX) shall have placement during the Father's day weekend.




Gonna try to make this short- I gave ex a calendar of the next 12 month schedule for visitation and requested that if there was anything he disagreed with to let me know in writing by sept 1, otherwise that is the schedule we would work from.

last night was the end of the summer visitation schedule. at the swap he threw the calendar into my car and said he didn't agree, that this up coming weekend was not mine and therefore the whole calendar would need to be changed. Any time I tried to ask for clarification or explain why this up coming weekend was indeed my weekend he just yelled louder that it wasn't and he didn't have to write anything and blah blah blah...

So here is my understanding- partly based on the advice that I recieved from the start of summer when we had a similar issue.

Last weekend was dad's weekend...the weekend before- mine- all the way back through the summer and last school year....court order states that child should be returned one week prior to the start of school (yesterday)

It is my contention the this upcoming weekend IS my weekend for 2 reasons

1. It is my weekend in the weekend rotation that we have been going off of for over a year
2. We are now on the school year visitation schedule which provides me every other weekend and all other extended weekends from school.....which has always been every three day weekend the occurs during the school year

I have more questions based on this ones answer. Thank You again!


Ex says no.....who is right?

Dear Socrateaser

State Wisconsin- all parties, and order

Last fall my attorney signed a proposed custody agreement without my knowledge. Prior to him recieving the document I had sent him a list of items that were very important to have included in the final order. The judge had also said that I should be given the opportunity to review and have input into the order.


For over a month and a half my attorney denied knowledge of the orders exsistence. Reviewing the paperwork I had been sent later, I found that he had signed the order, even though he had denied having it at the time. My order now is extremely vague and not working out.

There is more about this case that I am dissatisfied about- but this I can PROVE.

Questions:

I still owe the attorney $400, (out of thousands), do I continue to just pay it even though I was basically sold out?

Is this malpractice?

Does this give me an avenue to have the order modified?


Thank You very much.