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Hello, everyone!! I have looked all over the internet for information regarding child support awards.

As previously explained, I currently pay 50% of my income in child support. My original order for support was at 35%;  however, my income was cut in half, and I filed for a modification. The modification was filed 9 months ago. The ex refused to agree to the amount, and now we are faced with a court date, wherein she has the opportunity to present her case for deserving the original amount ordered, regardless of the decrease in my income.

She has also, in this 9 months, attempted to extort money from me by offering to accept 50% of my income in child support, if I would pay for all transportation costs to and from her state (amounting to several thousand dollars a year) as well as allowing her to claim all of our children on her tax returns regardless of what is in our divorce decree.

Is there any way a NCP can stop the train from running right over them? As it stands now, I bring in between $300 and $400 every two weeks. There has to be something I can do to keep my new family from starving. Any thoughts?

Thank you in advance.

Never mind. Made me feel like a jerk.

H and his ex have been debating summer visitation since early February. Summer visitation is HIS choice, based upon the divorce decree. If he and she cannot agree on dates, then visitation defaults to the dates set forth in the Standard Possession Order. After numerous arguments, he finally stated he'd be going with the dates in the SPO, and has refused to budge. (Tired of arguing, when it was his choice to begin with).

She threatened contempt if he did not change his dates to suit her. She then stated the children had camp during his time of possession(which per the divorce decree, she is not supposed to schedule) and so, in the best interest of the children, he should release the children to her on the dates she requested. He has refused and has finally begun ignoring her, as he's asked repeatedly that she stop with the barrage of emails. She won't stop. Still sends them anyway.

Well, since she couldn't win by bullying, she went after his children, telling his children that he didn't care if they went to camp or not, and that he really didn't want them to go anyway.  Thus, he spent quite some time on the phone listening to his children cry, while mom and stepdad listened in, making snide comments. (Which they are also NOT supposed to do, per the divorce decree)

Now, we are stuck. What exactly do you do in this situation, where mom believes it's okay to hurt her children, so long as she feels like she's "won"?

I'm not really sure where to start with our story, but I'll try to bulletpoint the highlights and add detail as needed..

More or less, we are having trouble dealing with his ex. She defies the divorce decree at almost every turn, sends a constant barrage of nasty emails, tries to limit his visitation, etc.

Chain of Events:

1) Divorce final May 2009
2) Ex remarries June 2009
3) Ex moves to another state June 2009 (with the children)
4) H and I meet in October 2009
5) Move in together March 2010
6) When he notified her of his change of address, the email barrage began. She threatened to keep his children from him, because we were not married at the time and she found us "immoral".
7) More emails demanded that I drive 24 hours to her home state to meet her in person, or she would...you guessed it...not allow visitation
More emails about how she despises him
9) Children do arrive for their summer visit , but the email barrage continues, up to and including, her informing us the children were not to stay with me and she needed a detail explanation of where they would be when H was working.
10) June 2010 - calls H crying, saying her husband yelled at her for being mean to us. She justified saying she only had her children's best interests at heart.
11) June 2010 - Found out we planned to marry in 2011...suddenly offers to help with the wedding
12) November 2010 - See kids for Thanksgiving. They are unwashed, in ratty clothes, and state they are hungry because are not allowed snacks or seconds, youngest D informs us she only bathes twice a week. He talks to the ex and she blows him off, refuses to speak to him about it, tells him to file a complaint if he's got a problem.
13) November 2010 - We file a complaint, as requested.
14) January 2011 - Ex files second claim for CS (illegal, btw)
15) January 2011 - Ex begins sending constant emails informing H he will pick the children up on her schedule
16) February 2011 - Signs youngest D up for an activity during his time of possession at Spring Break...thus denying his visit for Spring Break
17) March 2011 - Ex refuses to honor the Standard Possession Order in decree, stating she will file contempt charges if he keeps his children for the dates listed in decree
18) March 2011 - In order to stop the barrage of nasty emails , we elect me ask that all communication go through me. She refuses, and she and her H spend several days sending numerous disparaging emails, making threats, etc.
19) March 2011 - We ask for mediation. They refuse. They then state they will but only if I am not allowed to be part of the mediation. Then they state they'll mediate but only if we pay for all of it. Then they state they'll mediate but only if we use THEIR mediator.
20) April 2011 - Her husband threatens youngest child with punishment if he engages in summertime activities with his father. We send an email asking that this behavior stop...and were directed to their attorney.


Please keep in mind, I have never met these people. They know nothing about me. I offered a phone call as introduction early on when the harassment started, but his ex wife refused unless she could have a one on one conversation with me..without H present. Each attempt to meet with her was thwarted unless it was done in her state or on her schedule.

Has anyone else ever dealt with these issues? What do you do?

Thank you