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Topics - neutron11

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Do you know of any cases where the custodial father has to pay child support to the non-custodial mother because she is a full time student and works only part time and the custodial father makes significantly more than her? Our lawyer put the fear in us with this possibility but I can't find any information on how the judge would deem to do such a thing. I understand not asking the non-custodial mother to pay child support, given the differences in salaries but to ask the Custodial parent to pay? in this scenario both of the would have joint custody and 50/50 parenting time.

Custody Issues / witness list
« on: Mar 20, 2012, 10:53:45 AM »
So in preparation for trial, BM provided her list of possible witnesses and it's loooooooong. She is calling pretty much everybody she knows. This is not the definitive list, just the list of potential witnesses but we have no clue who  these people are so we are getting a little bit anxious. This is the first time we are going to trial so I'm not sure what to expect. Is normal to call twenty something witnesses? I imagine they all will say she is a wonderful parent and a wonderful person but other than that, they can't say much since  they don't know my DH. Is there a way to limit her number of witnesses? How much weight do these kind of witnesses have? It seems to me it will be a waste of the court's time. We have a lawyer but we don't want to ask too many questions cause it's costing us a leg and an arm. Thanks!

Second Families / stressful turn overs
« on: Mar 01, 2012, 03:30:46 PM »
My DH and BM are going through a custody battle  for their 4 year old son. My SS is a wonderful little boy and I adore him. When he is with us, he is really affectionate with me, hugs me constantly and likes to play with me. I have no doubt that he loves me and has bonded with me.  I have been in his life since he was only hardly 2 years old so he is used to see me and his daddy together all the time.

I know that I am an important part of his life. Right now we have the standard every other weekend schedule and some time during the week plus alternate holidays. My DH and I usually pick him up from daycare on Fridays and drop him at a public place on Sundays evenings to return him to his mom. Sometimes, though, we need to pick him up directly from his mom's and that's when the situation becomes stressful for me.

A child that is always showing love to me and his daddy and who is completely happy in our household, becomes a tearful toddler telling me "go away" and "I want my mommy". It's really heartbreaking. I try not to take it personally because just ten or fifteen minutes later, once we are on our way to our home, he is cheerful and happy again. But I'm afraid his mom is going to use this reaction against us in court, saying that my SS doesn't want to be with me. Do you have any idea why he is behaving like that?

He has become more vocal lately, I guess because he is growing up and being more aware of what is going on. We have always thought that BM fosters co-dependancy and he is a sensitive boy so maybe he is picking up that? I just don't know how to help him transition easier.

Any help you guys can provide will be great! At this point, I get really stressed out every time we need to do a pick up. Now even in daycare, he tells me 'go away' the moment he sees me. :(  I just give him some space and starts playing with other children and after a few minutes he will come to me and hug me and be his usual loving self.

Custody Issues / share of custody evaluation
« on: Feb 20, 2012, 11:40:13 PM »
We are going through a custody evaluation update and according to court order, BM is supposed to pay her percentage (around 20%). DH has been paying so far for the whole thing since BM is not interested in paying and DH is the one who really is pushing for the evaluation. Nevertheless, now the parenting evaluator is asking for more money in order to finish it and BM is asking for more hours of evaluation on the part of the evaluator. By not paying she is in contempt of the court order but do we have a case? she will claim that she doesn't  have the money (she is underemployed and working only part time). We are just tired of paying for all the expenses and her eluding her responsibility. It has been a trend for her.

General Issues / Question about taxes
« on: Dec 28, 2011, 11:59:20 AM »
WA state. According to child support order, DH is to have child tax credit every year. Last year, DH did not ask for tax break because BM begged him not to and she needed the money but this year we are in need of that money and want to ask for the tax break. Parenting time is 70/30. We know BM needs to sign tax form in order for DH to ask for the break but we know she won't do it. Can we file taxes without the signed form? What would happen if she also declares child as dependent in her taxes? Would DH still get the break even though according to IRS it should go to the parent with more parenting time? Thanks!

General Issues / detective work
« on: Nov 20, 2011, 07:21:15 PM »
DH and I have the gnawing suspicion that BM is practically living with her boyfriend. A friend (who also knows her) has told us that she wants to sublease her apartment. On court she declared she broke up with boyfriend (because he has several DUIs, drug possession charges, etc) and that she just renewed her apartment lease (she has moved more than 4 times in the last 3 years). We are about to embark in a update in the parenting evaluation and we asked the new BF to be evaluated too (that's why she said she broke up with him). Any ideas about how to find out if she is actually living with her BF? We have thought about getting a PI but it's soooo expensive than we are hoping to find a way without recurring to PI. Any creative ideas will be welcome!

Visitation Issues / Business travel--make up visitation
« on: Sep 26, 2011, 04:37:43 PM »
My DH is drafting a parenting plan to submit to BM during mediation and he wants to have something there specific to make up visitation due to business travel. He is a consultant and sometimes he goes months without traveling but then he will travel 10-20 days in a month for a couple of months. Usually his travels happen from Monday-Friday or from Tuesday to Friday so weekends he is always home. He is aiming at having child 50% of time. Obviously, if he has to travel for work, child will stay with BM. Do you guys think it's fair to ask for make up time during the weekends? He doesn't want to deprive BM of weekend time with child but it seems the only available option, other than forfeiting his time with child, which he would hate to do. What kind of wording should be included in the parenting plan? Do you guys have any other suggestions?  Thanks!!

We are in WA state. We are still under preliminary orders and had an evaluation done in April. The results showed BM as unstable and proposed a visitation schedule of 50/50, joint custody in all senses but given child's age (4) BM would retain her position as residential parent (with the condition of another evaluation in two years). Since then, my DH has discovered unsettling information about BM and wanted to have an update done before trial. BM has refused to do so and on top of that wants to do a new evaluation since she was unhappy with the results (note that she didn't mention this until my DH asked for an update). The evaluator we used said that if she were the child's Guardian ad litem she would be able to proceed without the mother's consent. My questions are: is it possible to have the evaluator named Guardian AD Litem? How do we go about doing that? Is there a way to court ordered the update? If BM really wants another evaluation, would my DH have to pay for it, even if he is happy with the results from the first one? (he paid entirely for the first one since she claimed she didn't have money to contribute to it). We do have a lawyer but she is on vacation right now and we don't want to miss an opportunity. Any help will be appreciated!

Custody Issues / new boyfriend moving in
« on: Sep 03, 2011, 10:12:50 PM »
So BM, after hardly three months, lets the new boyfriend move in with her (one more on the list of relationships but the first to actually move in with her). My husband (BP) learned about this through a third person, BM hasn't told us about this new relationship and that this guy is living in her apartment. She has only one bedroom and SS has been sleeping with BM in the same bed. She might have a small mattress in the bedroom for him, though. My husband is concerned about this situation because the boy has been recently mimicking kissing and other actions with male and female toys. My husband and I are concerned that they are having sex in front of him (or while they think he is sleeping). Can we do something about this? Any help will be appreciated. We are doing a parenting evaluation at this time so we would like to bring up the issue.

General Issues / Background check?
« on: Jul 19, 2011, 12:53:58 PM »
I was wondering if any of you out there can recommend a reliable website to do a background check (or gather as much information as possible) on a person? BM's new boyfriend seems to be shady (we've heard stories from some people about possibly having a criminal records) and would like to find out. Thanks!

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