Messages

I am very worried about the money issue because BM doesn't have any major bills to pay. She lives rent-free at her boyfriend's house and I beleive her boyfriend and mom help her out financially. I have rent to pay and daycare expenses for 2 children, not to mention all this debt from first trial.
1. Would there be any way that a judge would order her to pay my attorney fees at the pre-trial hearing?

At my custody trial in which I won custody, there was not enough time to hear the child support case, so our trial date for that is in March 2007.
1. Will the judge order BM to pay CS from the date I was awarded custody (October 2006), or from March 2007?

Hello,
I am a father who won custody of my 4 year old daughter 3 weeks ago (primary residential and joint legal). I wrote to you before my trial several times over the past year. Needless to say I am overjoyed with the results! I just found out BM appealed the ruling. Our trial was heard in the Juvenile and Domestic Relations court, so I was told by my attorney that the appeal would be a whole new trial, essentially a "do-over" in the Circuit Court. My daughter is with me now under the court order and is enrolled in preschool.
I am very nervous about this because I had an excellent judge last time, very unbiased who went strictly by the best-interest of the child standard her in VA. I am worried what if I am not as lucky next time. I am $22,000 in the whole from the first trial and have no idea how I will afford an appeal.
1. Do you have any idea how successful these types of appeals are?
2. In our court order it says both parties are entitled to daily phone contact with the child when she is not in their care. BM has not picked up her phone or allowed me to speak to our daughter once since court when she is with her every other weekend. I have our daughter call her every single day. Is this contempt of court by her not allowing me to speak with our daughter?
3. Since our daughter will have been at my home for several months (I am assuming the trial wouldn't be for awhile), would whis help my chances of winning again as well?

Thank you for the advice. Just as a side note, BM and I were never married. We split up when my daughter (now 4) was 18 months. She was living with me primarily until her mother moved out of state January of this year with our daughter and refused to let me see her which is why I filed the custody case. I got married back in May of last year to a wonderful supportive woman who is stuck by my side through all this bs with BM.
BM's "witness" is claiming I not only abused BM, but she has also seen me abuse my current wife. Both complete lies.

Thank you for your response. Am I worrying about this claim more than I should? If the only "evidence" she has is her best friend's false testimony I would think that would be kind of suspect. I am interested to see when and where her friend is going to claim I was "abusing" my wife since she has only seen us together twice and for a few minutes each time in public places. You said I would need a "third party with no stake" in the proceedings, but wouldn't my family fall on the same level as her best friend as far as objectiveness?

I love the idea of a polygraph, but unfortunatly I don't have thousands of dollars to spend on that. My pockets are already emptyfrom attorney's fees.

I am waiting for her lawyer to send me discovery so I can answer similar questions.

BM finally turned in her discovery and I received it yesterday. I couldn't beleive what I was reading. Her main claim as to why she should receive custody is because I was "Physically abusive to her in front of our daughter" and I am "aggressive". This is completley false!

She was extremely physically and verbally abusive in our relationship. She would scratch me, pinch me, kick me, spit in my face and hit me. I never layed a hand on her except to push her off of me when I was being attacked. She has even physically attacked my mother and my younger sister when she was living with me. I can't beleive she is trying to turn this abuse around on me.

She is also claiming that I hit my current wife and under the section for witnesses she is bringing her best friend who claims she has seen me hit my wife. This is so ridiculous and stressful. Her "friend" has seen me and my wife together twice (once at my daughters birthday party, and once recently when I dropped my daughter off with her mom) both for a period of 5 minutes. She also stated that her friend received phone calls from her (BM) when we were together of her crying as I hit her and she has seen the bruises. I can't beleive her friend would lie like this.

BM stated she has no reason to believe I am abusive towards our daughter but she worries that as our daughter gets older and more independent I may abuse her because I am "too possesive". There are several other lies as well, but this is the one of main concern because it is a serious false accusation.

1. What can I do to prove these allegations false since she is bringing a "witness" who is going to lie about seeing this?

2. Will my wife testifying that I have never lied a hand on her help?

3. Will my family testfying that she was in fact the aggressor help at all?

4. How else can I prove these allegations false?

Would it also help to point out that my daughter already has grammer issues and her not being able to practice the english language and learn it better will out her at a disagvantage in public school?

Ok, thank you. So you are saying that I should pick one of those two arguments and go with it.
If it looks like the judge is not agreeing with the one I go with (probably #1), then should I also bring up #2?

My daughter has never learned Russian until her mom took her from me in January and enrolled her in this preschool. I have taught my daughter English and Spanish while she was living with me. Her grandmother decided she HAD to learn Russian and convinced my daughter's mom to enroll her in this school. I am concerned because on their website it says that classes are taught ONLY in Russian.
My daughter will be entering kindergarten in a little over a year and if she now is being taught only in Russian and not being exposed to the English language (because now until trial she only gets to see me 4 days a month) then she may not be prepared for school.

1. So if I prove that its a Russian PRESCHOOL taught solely in Russian and not just a regular daycare I may not have to pay? Even if this is used while BM is at work?

2. If I can prove that her grandmother is making most payments and not mother can this help my case as well?

sorry to bother you again, but can you be a little more specific.

1. Why would the judge not make me pay?

2. What evidence should I bring because BM is going to argue that since this is daycare while she's at work I should have to pay?