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*****Hmm, I'm wondering *most of his life*. Was he with biomom before G-mom obtained custody? Was she collecting welfare?


The first month or two of his life or so bm had cusody and more than likely she did recieve welfare benifits. When g-mom got him she wanted no welfare or child support. (I assume no cs or welfare because if she got cs or welfare bm would also have to pay cs as well as my dh) But for 5 years there was a medical support only order. So we are now trying to figure out how they came up with over 11 thousand dollars that my dh owes if there was no support ordered for 5 years out of 7 years. (ss is 7) His cs is and has been set at 179.00 per mo so they way I do math (lol) they are way off. Also it is fine by us if they leave him oweing that support but where is BM's support? Why should she not have to pay? She wasnt supporting him either and we know in foster care situations both parents are required to pay suport so therefor she should be just as responsible as my dh is.

Anyways thats how we are seeing it hopefully the child support agency will see the same when they look it over!

I argee that it is very strange that is why we are asking questions. I am not sure if we should retain an attorney or if this agency will correct its error but I was told that they will look into it and get back to us with in 3 days. I think we will wait the 3 days and see what the agency decides and then go from there. I have mentioned it to the attorney that we have for the custody case going on currently but Im not sure what we are going to do at this point. Thanks for responding!

My ss had lived with his grandmother for the most of his life. There was a cs order for MEDICAL ONLY for 5 years naming grandma as the caretaker. There is a current order for cs and now the cs office is saying that my dh is owes over 11,000 in past due suport. The thing I dont get is that grandma requested no suport and got no welfare assistance during the 5 years in question. The cs office is doing a review on the above situation but we are waiting to hear the outcome. DH is considering consulting with his attorney in regards to the above but we would like to hear some other suggestions and comments.

He does pay current support and that is not a problem at all with either of us. We just dont see why he would owe any money since it is a MEDICAL ONLY order.

Any ideas? Please help!

I agree with your whole post!

I also would like to add that even when only gaining a little in family court it can go a mile in the future.

Some people may think of my DH's case as being a failure due to the fact that he did not get what he was asking for which was primary physical care

BUT DH and I think of it as a success due to the fact that DH gained more time and he also now has a DETAILED court order. What was important in our case was that we tried and that we have no intention of giving up. We will continue to take the high road, document, and exercise visitation as the co says. Sometimes it may take a few times in court to finally get the outcome you are looking for but the biggest thing is that a parent in this situation can not give up.

The story you just told brought tears to my eyes.

DH and I are waiting for a decision from the judge on his custody case and our BIGGEST issue is that my SS doesnt go to school. Last year alone we know he missed 30 some days of school while in BM's care. This year at last count we know he was up to 13 days so far. There are many other issues as well but this one is the one that "broke the camels" back and is why DH took BM to court for physical placemement. We provided school records of the children that reside with us to prove that the children that live here do go to school. Anyways sorry for rambling! LOL!

We know now that the judge has made his decision but are currently waiting for DH's attorney to call and give us the news. We dont know what the decision was yet!

PS to those that have been following DH's case............I will post as soon as I know

Olanna,

I am not here to argue with you. I believe that your post to TM was discouraging her from what she felt was important. This is my opinion. Maybe others seen your post diffrent than I did. I guess the one that could really say if she felt discouraged after reading your post would be TM.

Have you seen any of the posts here that were a sucess story?? I have and that is what keeps me going and I am sure that there are many others that feel the same way.

Just because your case didnt turn out the way you wanted doesnt mean the rest of us should throw in the towel and give up. I for one will fight for parents rights for the rest of my life!

Some cases work for the best and some do not. Yes the system is blind and really doesnt care but if WE AS PARENTS give up and dont fight for our rights ..............and in TM's case .............if she doesnt show the judge that CP dad isnt doing his "job" as Cp then she looses and without a fight.............Is that the way we should all work our cases?

I dont think so.

>All I am saying here is that you can want someone to do the
>right thing...doesn't mean they will. Better that you spend
>your energy finding a solution than trying to change someone
>else's behavior.
>

I agree......You cant change someone else. BUT from what I gather dad needs to either shape up or give mom her custody rights back so these children get an education.

Just because you lost your battle doesnt mean that you have to discourage other posters. I am sorry that your case turned out that way but YOU are the only one who can change that. TM asked advise and it seems to me that you attacked her for wanting to help her children. Some courts/judges do make the right choices and correct decisions in regards to children and I will still say that I believe that TM has something valid that NEEDS to be heard by the judge during the upcomming trial.............Its not like she is taking this one issue to court......there is already a pending case.

Olanna,

From what I can understand in the post is that dad is the CP. TM used to have a split custody and it worked well. The children are NOT dong their homework while at dads house (the CP)

Now I am both CP and NCSM ............It is hard to help children when you only get very little time with them. Yes you can help some but NOT to the extent that you can if you are CP. BOTH parents has the responsibility of making sure children do their homework while in their care! If the child is in dads care then dad needs to make sure that the kids are doing their home work and vice versa if they are at moms house.

School is a big issue as far as my opinion goes! If dad cant get the kids to school and cant get them to do homework there is a problem and a possiable change in custody situation should be looked at. Now maybe some people feel that kids can do ok without an education but I am NOT one of those people. I personally agree with TM and her plight to get the teachers testimony heard by the judge in the upcomming trial. I feel it would be an important factor in a custody decision.

>Perhaps Mom getting involved with the school system is a
>great idea. Supena's and court actions over this before Mom
>does the above is a bad idea.


It is MY understanding from the first post in this thread that mom is involved in the childrens schooling. In fact she was just at parent teacher confrences last week I believe.

As I said before a supenea would be an option to get the teachers testimony in the upcoming trial.