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I need to add too that I doubt that she will take the time I have now back.
Most of the time is court ordered. Like I said it doesn't say 50/50 but says this plus that and 4 weeks vacations, ...
I have done the parenting time tracker and it tracks for 3 years that I have between 46 and 52% of the time depending on the year.

Also my ex used to live with her mother who was the one really sueing me in court. Now she lives with her BF and calls me almost every week-ends now for me to take care of our kid as she has to do this or that or week-end with BF, ....

She might want to take the extra time back but can't really.

For example in the next 6 month she has internship for work todo and she simply can't take care of our kid in that time. Her mother might be able to do a few times but not for 6 month.

As I said, we are in this situation because I worked hard for it but also because it is conveignat for her. BF is getting tired of my kid, ... my ex as well, she finds a 4 year old "too active" in a downtown appartment.... where he asks himself to come to my house, ....

She is also going to do this internship in the next 6 month "unpaid" so this is not with all that that she can pay for a daycare.

oh and to add that because of past lawyer bills, her mother had to sale her home and my ex is filing chapter 7, ....


This is just I think a good opportunity for me to get out of CS through custody. I am paying for 75% of our son's care anyway. she owes me close to 2000$ of health insurance she never paid. .... and I give her the CS to pay for her appartment downtown.

with all that's going in her life I have an opportunity within the next year to change custody.
CS will follow.

agreed,
that's why I am looking for advise here.

I am thinking this over

we do not have the 50/50 stipulated but our parenting plan gives this time and this time and ca easily show that it acounts to 50/50


Ex is smart, she doesn't want to stipulate much.

Our son is doing early entrance in my school district. If she doesn't want him to enter early in my school district then hers doesn't do early entrance so it's not like she can pull him out.
Plus she (in her madness) is very happy that he goes to my school district. He will go into an immersion school so once he has started there for 6 month there is no turning back,

no judge will take our kid out of his school

I may add that other than for the money issue, we are in an agreement.
I mostly take care of our kid and she does when she has time

Also her school district is right next to mine

Hi,
I currently am in very good terms with my ex-wife.
I have our son 1/2 the time however my ex has custody (full and shared legal) of him.

Our son will start school in my school district this september.

The only sore point between us is the child support issue. I am quite tired of paying for her boyfriend's appartment and we do not seems to be able to reach an agreement to stop child support.

So here is my question. If my ex doesn't come to a non CS agreement I plan to go for custody of our son. Since right now I have him 50% of the time and I will have him even more when he is at school in my district the only problem I have is how to documet to make this a sure win?

our son is 5 years old.
Once he starts in my schooldistrict they (the county court) will not change him to another school district so that should be easy.

As I said, I am looking for ideas to document a sure custody win in the next 6 to 9 month.

Our son is already registerd through the schools as living with me (to go in my school district)


Again here I am not looking for a short term: "good luck you'll never have it", .. I have all the time in the world to document this, I just need to know what documentation works. Obviously me just saying our kid is with me and not my ex isn't enough

if you can video tape her being drunk ,,....
give the counselor the tape ?

thought about asking the councelor to call Child services on her ?

Hi,
From personal experience, divorce took 3 years, Mom aleaged that I would kidnap my kid, ...  bottom line is we are 6 years after and I have 50/50 shared custody. Anyway.

From back then, the turning point was to have the court do an evaluation of you (ask in court for an evaluation of both parents) but be willing to submit.

Most likely you will not get much time at first but take my word, take all you can, little by little, afternoons then nights, ....

The thing to understand is that as wrong as it is, the court system is a game you just need to learn to play.

In my case I told the judge I'd do what ever he wanted me to do. lie detector, evaluation, you name it, eventually just evaluation was done but the result of the evaluation will give you a little time with your kid.

Then file again for more time right away, since it takes for ever in court, then again then again, ... your kid will grow up and your relation with it.

I can't tell you how many times I ended up crying for hours alone in an hotel room full of roaches. But today my 6 years old kid comes to see us all the time and tells his mom he wants to live with us, ...
When he needs lunch money for school, he asks us because his mom always says no, ....

So that's my advise, ask for an evaluation. you have to pay for it? fine says yes then don't pay it, let the state come after you then file another motion that you are too poor to pay it.

learn to get all you can inch by inches eventually your kid will get older as it goes and you will get more

yes I agree, I was actually thinking about asking the school if they have a school counselor. Do you think a school counselor would be a good choice?

I talked to our son on the phone tonight. He seems to be better if I call him, ... and not feel so sad.

Is he afraid that because his sister is with me all the time that I will forget him?

Hi,
I have been on this site for over 4 years now and batteling with ex wife for time with our son for as much.

Over the years I got more time with our son to the point where now even though the order says she has custody, the parenting plan says 50/50
Every other week-ends and 1 night a week plus extra days every month, ...

I rescently got remaried and adopted my step daughter as my daughter (in my heart not on paper, her dad is not there) so I call her my daughter, our son calls her his sister, ...

For the past 4 month our son has came over in a more than usual need for cuddles (even before he always had a mother that is not showing her love with cuddles even though she loves our son deeply) to a point that he started to ask me why his mother loved him less than me.

Of course I said not less, same love but she shows it differently but she loves you, ...

But since last week, he started to have "separation anxiety" but very bad. keep in mind that he is in Kindergarten for a year now and never had "separation anxiety" before.

Today we had a meeting with his teacher, his mom and him and I to see if there was a problem, ... teacher said no, this happens when changes happens. However when it was time for me to go he would not. did not put a fit or whinning, more like simply crying from emmotions. went as far as saying thta he would prefer to go to my home tonight in front of his mother saying no, ....

I know you are all gona think I am taking my side of course but even though I tell him his mother loves him as much as she can, the bottom line is that she is never there for swimming class, at soccer practice she never shows up. the tooth ferry never comes to her home, my kid actually hide his lost tooth from his mom to bring them to my home and pretend it just felt. 5 years old, this is bad.


So I have to say that I am at a lost here.
I am a firm believer of 50/50 that even though she does drop him at her mom when she has him for the week-end that he is entitled to see both of us 50/50 but now he is hurt. It breaks my heart and I don't know what to do anymore.

Everytime I bring the subject to his mom that maybe she could spend 5 min to cuddle him more or maybe show up at soccer practice she think I attack her and says she is not a bad mother and end up missing the point.

We have done so many mediations with no results, ....

what can I do to help our son feel better. I cannot not show up at soccer or swimming lessons or stop giving him love. his new sister cannot not play with him, they love each other so much.

what can I do. please give me thoughts.

Hi,
I am not a very good advise for you but I am contemplating filing myself this type of Motion and I was wondering if you had a sample motion you could email me or what the judge look for to add parenting time or not and some global advises.
you cna PM me or email me if you want
thanks