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May 08, 2012, 08:10:00 AM
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Parenting After Divorce, available directly from Amazon.com at this link: Parenting After Divorce![""]("http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=cuiq-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1886230846")
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The book Parenting After Divorce is a down-to-earth "guide to resolving conflicts and meeting your children's needs". Written by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D., this book covers many of the classic problems that parents face in the years following divorce. Although light in areas, the book does contain a number of extremely good strategies and ideas for dealing with common issues that cause friction in post-divorce families.
The 12 chapters cover a variety of subjects; including "talking to your children", "children aren't property", and "resolving parent conflicts". Each chapter is written in a no-nonsense tone, with practical suggestions and techniques that can help lower the level of conflict in a post-divorce relationship. Many of the situations covered are "real world" examples you may have already dealt with.
Dr. Stahl is to be commended for his gender-neutral approach in covering these subjects- a refreshing change from many of the divorce and custody books currently on the market. Although not exactly brimming with resources, Dr. Stahl does provide a very good list of books for parents as well as for children. A sample parenting plan is also provided, and although not necessarily comprehensive in nature, it would serve as a good starting point for many couples to base their parenting plan on. (The SPARC site also has a wide selection parenting plans available free of charge for your use.)
On the subject of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), Dr. Stahl unfortunately comes up short. Some of his advice on alienation is good, to be sure, however much of it is directed at the parent who is doing the alienation; such alienating parents are unlikely to be swayed by suggestions such as "support (his) relationship with the other parent". If they were supportive of the relationship with the other parent, they wouldn't be practicing PAS in the first place. Indeed, it's unlikely that parent who practices PAS would ever even read a book like this.
Dr. Stahl does not pay a great deal of attention to PAS, rather, the subject is touched upon as if it were a fairly rare occurrence. (PAS is now realized to be much more common than previously thought.) Dr. Stahl does, however, state that "it is always damaging if your child is alienated", and provides a short list of alienating behaviors the other parent may practice, plus a list of fairly typical symptoms that the PAS child often displays.
One notable section is that of "Dealing With A Difficult Ex-Spouse". Dr. Stahl covers the classic types of "difficult ex's". Included in these are the Over-Reactive Parent, the Rigid Parent, the Self-Centered Parent, the Constantly Angry Parent, the Irresponsible Parent, the Exclusive Parent and the Dependent Parent. If you deal with a difficult ex, you'll almost certainly recognize yours somewhere in the list. This book could solve a lot of problems both present and future, if your ex would be willing to read it and practice the principles that Dr. Stahl outlines.
Based on price (a little high) as well as content (good), we rate "Parenting After Divorce" as a 3-star resource (on a scale of 1 to 5).