Inappropriate Touching

[jilly]

This past weekend was DH's weekend to have his daughter (6).  This also coincided with a birthday party for DH's youngest sister.  The first half of the birthday party was family-oriented and SIL had family and friends at a local event.  DH's brother and SIL have two children, a boy (9) and a girl (8). DH's DD always enjoys spending time with her cousin so they were hanging out together during the afternoon events.  SIL decided she wanted to leave early and SD wanted to go with her cousin, which DH agreed to.  At the end of the evening, we stopped by and picked SD up and went home.
DH took SD home on Sunday evening and later got a phone call from his EX because SD told her about being with cousin. They normally take baths together and SD told her Mom that cousin made her wash her bottom.  DH talked to DD and found out that DD had been a bit grumpy with cousin. Cousin got mad and basically bullied DD into washing her bottom. We had no idea until the phone call that this had even happened. DH was furious and called his brother to tell him about the incident. No sooner had DH hung up the phone than SIL was calling and getting on him for talking to his brother instead of her since she was the one home when this happened. (If she knew about it, why didn't she tell us about it when we picked up DH's DD? Or at least call us the next day?) DH has now decided that his DD will not be allowed to spend any time with her cousin due to this incident.
I was relaying this to a co-worker today and she said that this typs of behavior is what 8 year olds do. She thought that DH (and I) is overreacting to the situation.  Am I crazy for thinking this is NOT normal behavior for an 8 year old?

[Dr. D]

This may not be "normal" behavior, however it may not be "abnormal" behavior either.  I have no idea what goes on inside either household to determine the modeling these kids may have picked up on.  Nor do you say, exactly what happened - only that SD was 'bullied" into washing her bottom.....I think, someone should determine if SD was traumatized, if so get her to a counselor (fighting among family members isn't the answer), if not, quit making an issue of it, and be a little cautious when the two of them are together.

It is easy to jump to conclusions where our children are concerned.  However, it does sound as though NO adult here has all the information.

Dr.D