Where do we go from here!

[almostastepmom]

It's been awhile since I posted, but nothing has changed in our situation.  Let me recap- My SO has 2 kids (D-9 S-10) that live with their mother.  Due to he's job we only get them every 6 weeks for 2 weekends in a row.  He pays her child support and alimony and if you ask me, WAY TO MUCH!  She has always been "crazy" and very careless with her mo, she only works 30 hours a week because she knows that if she works more then that she wouldn't be able to get as much cs from her ex.  
Recently we found a few BIG flaws in the do-it-yourself divorce and child support papers that she wrote up when the got a divorce.  She is asking for more money because she just can't seem to make ends meet now days, and that's because she is supporting her no-good cheating boyfriend without a job.  So she is at my SO throat telling him that he is going to have to pay, pay, pay more money.  
He tried to sit down with her and talk to her about this and all the other crap she is trying to pull on him, but we just got a call today and she is taking him back to court.....
I guess I need to know 2 things.  One, who do I write to in the world of goverment to tell them to pull their heads out and re-write the child support laws and TWO, How do you get a court/judge to see that just because he makes good money and she decides not to get a good job, not to make the current and very up to date and overpaid child support amout to increase.
I have all kinds of legal questions, but it would take forever in a day to write.

[Peanutsdad]

As far as what government official to write,, I'll let others take that on. None of them are going to sponser ANYTHING concerning reducing the tables on child support and alimony...why?  Cuz as Soc saz,, half the electorate,, are women,, and they are the primary recievers of said goodies.



If your DH is already paying guideline, then she wont have a leg to stand on,, if he isnt,, 'fraid HE wont have a leg to stand on.

[almostastepmom]

Thanks for the response!   Not only has my DH been paying her, he has been over paying her for the past 3 years by $200.00 and when he and he's lawyer told her that he wasn't going to be paying it any more that is when she said she is taking him back to court because she just needs more money.  And what gets me is becasue they did this themselves, actually she wrote it all up, instead of a lawyer, she made some mistakes and he actually paid her for 9 months that he didn't have to pay her.  
I guess what pisses me off SO bad is she doesn't use the money for the kids.  She pays her credit card bills, takes her unemployed low-life boyfriend out to expensive dinners, buys herself nice clothes, and lets the children stay at a babysitters and they get to wear clothes that don't fit, and that are always dirt and full of holes.  
I would love to prove that she is a unfit mothers, but WA state is practacly impossable for doing that.  Does anyone know if we would have a chance on getting 50/50 custody?
Thanks again

[Lawmoe]

Well first of all, you must understand the standard for changing maintenance or child support payments.

Either one requires a showing that there has been a substantial change in circumstance since the last order making the current amount paid unreasonable or unfair.  

At the time of eth divorce, the parties sign papers which essentially agree what the circumstances are at that time.  If you recently discovered discrepancies in thos "facts", it is likely that it is too late to anything about them now.  Itis against those facts that it will be determined whether a change has occurred.

If the ex spouse is not earning less money and/or is she is earning less but only because she voluntarily limits her income, it is unlikely spousal support will increase unless your spouse has had a very significant increse in income.

Child suport, by contrast,looks less at the other parent's income and is generally based on a percentage of the non-custodial parent's net or gross income.

If she does file a Motion in Court, he can fie a counter motion on any issues he would like to address such as increased parenting time.

For Minnesota issues visit http://www.divorceprofessionals.com

[4honor]

and then ask more questions here.

[our4girlz]

As stated in another reply, she has to show a change in circumstances....not that she just feels she's entitled to more money. My DH & I are in a similar situation. BM & b/f are both deadbeats who choose not to work, so we pay the price. DH pays way more than enough CS, health insurance, he has been paying all medical bills not covered by insurance, although it is supposed to be 50/50 & for activities for the kids, b/c she claims poverty.

About 10% of the money she gets is actually used on the kids. Most for her & b/f to pay their bills. She claims she can't afford to buy them clothes, but she can always find a way to get her hair & nails done. I certainly don't have the money to get my nails & hair done or even to buy new clothes for myself.

But as long as she is still working then that will help your case. It doesn't matter if b/f is unemployed, b/c they don't consider his earnings, so she can't use that as her excuse! If your SO is paying by the guidelines then he shouldn't worry, although I know it's a pain to deal with.

Good luck!