Parents of either gender with experiences with visitation expediters and custody...

[john5739]

I'm wondering how many divorced parents are being adversely affected emotionally and financially by court appointed visitation expediters or custody evaluators?  I am interested in hearing about any one's experiences.

[spinner]

well in my case, since I am not american (lived here for ever but) my ex used that to say I would take our kid to foreign country (not arabic, but I am from europe)
anyway, she pushed for supervised visitation that FINALY we got the court to order an evaluation and came back as a "this is all stupid" so to me this was a good experience as it did put an end to my all mess

[tulip]

My dh had a court-appointed evaluator and it was totally biased toward the bm. It proved that she is a drug addict with severe emotional problems, and they still recommended that she get sole physical custody.

I would recommend that any father trying to get custody of his kids hire a private evaluator. The county one was really two-faced, did not do a complete home evaluation, refused to speak to any collateral witnesses on dh's behalf, and refused to speak to the man that the bm and the children live with, not to mention check his criminal record.

[john5739]

tulip,

Are you allowed to mention the evaluator by name on this board?  If so would you mind giving it to me?  By the way, so you know I am female.  I think because of my username, I am in the system as a male.  I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to pull something.  

I am a birth mother, but I've been treated in the unfair way that many birth fathers have experienced for years.  I know from my father's experiences how biased the courts can be toward mothers, but I also know first hand from my own experiences that the bias can go both ways when you're dealing with someone who has no professional ethics, or real concern for the children.  Money seems to be the only thing that talks in my experience with custody evaluators and GALs.

Thanks for replying.

[tulip]

I don't know if I am allowed to give out her name or not, but I will tell you she is in Anoka County, and I think part of the reason for her bias may have been that dh had a big problem with the daycare center bm had chosen for the kids, and during the evaluation, he found out that the evaluator had her kids in the same daycare. After having a meeting with her, and describing his issues with the daycare center, he ran into there one day when they were both picking up kids.

[Dibella2]

Holy Smokes!  Sounds like you had the same evaluator we did!  Everything pointed to BM being an alcoholic and having no responsibility for the kids, yet the "evaluator" still recommended custody remain the same.  

[john5739]

I have seen the name of this visitation expediter/custody evaluator's name on this site in the archived messages.  She practices mainly in Ramsey Co.  The post I saw painted her in a very negative light.  I have been in contact with several people by phone who are heavily in debt to her.  Her main motive is $$$$$. The best interest of the children seems to be of no interest to her.  I don't think she even researches or looks into any of the evidence either side provides her.  She creates problems so she can charge people for having to resolve the conflict.

[tulip]

The one dh used was an employee of Anoka County, so she would be getting paid the same no matter what she did or didn't do.