Dropping custody order?

[needadvice]

My GF took my Daughter and left my apartment for a couple days, in the meantime she filed for full custody of our Daughter.
She claims she was afraid that I would do it first.
I haven't even gotten my copy yet and she wants to know if she can go back and drop the order.

Thanks for you time

[gipsy]

she can ,Especially if it has not been signed by a judge , I'm certain that any thing can be changed by agreement , If she is willing , just because she went that far ask if she will just agree to joint custody , if not she can probably just not even show up , If your relationship is getting sideways I would try to  get her to agree to joint custody , be nice try not to wind up in a legal battle , you probably don't want to go through the courts ,don't do ANY THING TO HER OF THIS IS GETTING sidways , it sounds like she all prepared to take the legal approach she will be likely to fight you if you try to hard , ifshe hasn't talked to an atty yet it would be a big plus to get some sort of agreement out of her ,if she gets an atty it will be an uphill battle , I would be cautious when she has already made an effort to make a legal issue of it , You probably don't know what this is all about yet , But i would kiss her asss to get to the point of forgiveness , and get her to sign off on an agreement , Like I would try to be really nice and say , just for peace of mind lets sign off on an agreement , go get a parenting plan and let her be the custodial parent, if it goes through the court , you will just spend an enomous amount of effort to wind up with a parenting plan that say's you can see your kid every other weekend , And fight for a day in the week , every other holiday , half the summer , and split school breaks , I would approach it like this , just so we don't have to fret about the issue lets just agree that you have primary care , I get visits etc , then if this doesn't work out we both know where we stand ,You get primary custody , I get visits , This is what will happen any way , Unless you can prove she is a detriment to the child , and doesn't care for the child , I would explain that if this goes to the court it is an expensive process and harmful to a child so lets just agree , other then that she can drag your ass through the court , it will be a bullshit process and you will get a parenting plan like the one above

[needadvice]

Thank you for your detailed advice! Where do I get a parenting plan as you suggested is it some type of form that can be purchased or is it aquired through the court clerk? should it be notorized?
When you say custodial parent does that just mean physically? Will I still have say in medical, religion and education issues?
If a visitation schedule is determined in this plan can it be changed at a later date (in court) if I feel I need more?
And would I be giving up my rights to ever try to prove in the future that she may be a detriment to the child? (there are some minor issues right now about the way some things are done with my Daughter) she is only 5 months old and has had a respiratory problem and I am not getting all the information from the doctors visits when I am unable to attend.

Thank you so much for your great advice!

[gipsy]

repost   with the tittle parenting plan [Your state ]In wash state there is case law that not so many atty's even know about, that say's If the parties agreed but custody has been agrred to by the parties , AND NOT  heard by the court then it  can be brought before the judge , so in a way it can be benificial to just agree ( wash state) but the deal is a parenting plan is a court order when you agree and just go to the court for presentation in [agreement ] the judge or commissioner will sign off on it , you will have to search this site or  double click this word
    parenting plan     and this site has a cool feature that will take you to an area that shows some info about parenting plans ,, also you can just call the court in your area and ask them ,  with pen and paper in hand these questions . they are available here in pierce county
  1  Is there a time at the court when attys help people to file paper work like a parenting plan
   2 call the bar association [your state ] and ask if there are atty's that help people pro se ,
   3 type in superior court , Or look through this site there is a place where there is state specific paperwork , or repost something like
    any one know where there is paper work for parenting plans on this site , its all here ,
   4 go talk to a court house facilitor and they can help fill it out ,
  5 call a parelegal and ask how much they charge , I think this site will down load you one for your state for free or there isa link to the court your state
   Yes all the decision making things you ask for are on a wash state parenting plan , you just check off the box , before you post again click or highlight and click or something like that ,    parenting plan  and look at it ,   for the most part try to keep this away from attys , Even if she gets an atty .   Let me put it this way , there has been nothing I could have not told the judge that my paid atty did ,
   And I have stood there and told them what to say , But then again just read on ,
   If this gets sideways , Just file a parenting plan , Have her served , and have a copy for yourself , there is probably a declaration that will be filed also to the court thats justa paer stating your end of the deal ,  NO MATTER WHAT she does or say's Stay with the simple facts , Don't say crap about her , the best results I ever got in court was to just say , I want to see my son , I got a good reaction from the court and got a visitation schedule , If she makes up a story don't even react to it , Just say not true I want to see my child , If the court reacts to it , then you [wash state ] will be getting what they call a Guardian ad Litem ,. again the less crap you do the better . Juststay with the facts you want to see your kid , period this sounds like it could go sideways , But really I can say I have expierienced this from the beginning all the way through false allegations to domestic violence allegations , I have been accused of every thing , none of this worked and the system is totally biassed toward women having custody , they still gave mom custody , BUT Here is the big joke in My case and let it be a lesson to all the shit heads that make up stories ,
    The horses ass mother in My case got a big ass bulldog atty , He really was impressive saying all the crap , I think he was really impressive and was giveing her the big impressive atty BILL$$$$
   we got to trial mom asked for her 20,000$ atty fees , I had like 8,000$ in fees , could have been less except I tried the big ass high dollar atty and fired him wasted 5K so the point is they tried to blame me , I saw it coming in court they were trying to blame me , So I got my atty to give me the chance to talk to the judge, I told the judge " Let the reports speak for themselves , She has acuused me of sexual  BS and that is the source of the conflict , I said a lot more, thats the basics , SOOOO  Heres the big joke , I am certain her Big ass attywas telling her he would get her atty fees out of me , And he tried every trick in the book on me at court ,(not really] cause there really ain't much to this . And I stuck to My guns Making allegations is her fault and she stired this up , wanna know what the judge said , no ATTY FEES . SOOO hah f&cken hah She blew More than 20K telling stories to the GAL the judge her atty and the psych evaluater and guess what , we end up with a parenting plan and a child support order , ANY ONE that heads this into the court system intentionally is a fooooooolll   fool!!! period , You can for now be a silver tounged devil and get a parenting plan in place . You will be likely to get any way , Just be really nice do what i told you to do , I would not get any paper work with any atty stamp on it , this will make her leary of your intentions , Also Here, there is a place called   Pierce county center for dispute resolution, they will help you two to sign off on a plan , , My good atty told me to try mediation and if it works out then I don't need an atty,Also if this starts getting wierd or you break up try for Arbitration , thats just where you go talk to an arbitrater , ask the court and all the sources I gave you about this also . Good luck keep posting . And keep asking , And do your very best to be a gentleman No matter what , think of it like this , If the end wasn't bad there would be no end , But if you get attys involved there is no doubt that this will get way worse before it gets better ,I believe that atty's make this worse , I fired two and got one that really just did his job and presented My case , now its all over My post is on the Fathers board , read it !