Can parental rights be terminated and still collect child support??

[BelleMere]

My OSS was the product of a similar type situation. BM got pg when she was 18  or so by someone she didn't really know so she went away to have the baby and never put the Dad's name on the bc (back then I guess it wasn't a felony to pretend you didn't know). Then DH came along and he put his name on there, basically adopting the kid. He was the only father OSS actually knew but eventually they had to tell him the truth. Questions about who his father really was really haunted him emotionally - as they haunt any child. I am sure BM felt she was doing the right thing at the time - esp in the sense that she didn't want the hassle of building a relationship with someone she and OSS barely knew and the way in which she got pg wasn't exactly a loving relationship - but the impact on OSS was really really hard. I think it's important to be able to at least have a couple of photos around, contact info and the ability to say "Look, son, your father and I tried to make it work and it didn't, but if you want to find him, here is where to look." But I agree with you - he should be given an honest chance to know his child.

[cinb85]

My ex is a total jerk and doesn't support our DD, but she has ALWAYS had a picture of him and her (when she was a baby) in her room.
I always tried to tell her about her father.  When she would eat some kind of food that he liked to eat, I would tell her that.  When she would do something and make an expression that was like him, I would tell her that.  I wanted her to know that she had a father and what he was like.  Unfortunately, after 15 years of her father ignoring her, she has formed her own opinion of him and really doesn't care if she ever sees him again.  I am STILL trying my best to get them together, but he doesn't seem to want to cooperate.

It's very sad!!!  I have such a GREAT father, that I really feel sorry for DD that she doesnt' have one!!!!

[MixedBag]

from the state of CA that it's O.K. for a single mom not to list a dad.

BUT then when she wants benefits then there has been another law passed more recently that forces the mom to declare a dad in order to get that (and I'm thinking it was the food stamp people that told me that here in AL).

[cinb85]

In NJ if you apply for any type of welfare, you HAVE to name the father of the children.  Then the state goes after the father for the CS (the CS would go to the welfare agency to pay back the welfare).

[Cookiemomma4]

I know here in PA to get any kind of assistance you have to declare the father and go after a support order.  They do this because it is the states belief that it is the fathers obligation to support the child before the state does.
I really don't even think it is an issue of him being on the BC though, although it would have to be declared before she could terminate his rights...the issue to me is that he has not been given the chance to be a father.  I grew up without my daddy...by his choice...and I would never want my children to go through that.  It may be "easier" without him in the picture or whatever...but if a mother doesn' even try to have the father in the picture there is no one for that child to blame but her.  I can look at my mother and know that she gave my father every oppertunity to see myself and my sister.  I can look at my mother and know that she went out of her way to keep us in contact with his family.  I can look at my mother and be proud because she tried to not have us be fatherless...and at the same time I can look at my father and be ashamed that he took the "easy way" and walked away without looking back.  Who does her child have to be proud of when he is old enough to wonder who his real daddy is and why he doesn't know him?