accused of sex abuse - going to divorce

[falsely accused]

Hi, I've been accused of sex abuse of my daughter and my wife filed for divorce.   I haven't been able to see my kids yet.   Conclusion of investigation is that something happened to my daughter.  But I have been found innocent/"unfounded".   Apparently my wife is still pursuing this and wants to try and prove it was me in civil/ divorce court.   I feel good that I have the unfounded charge, but realize I need to be on my guard because my wife will still try to suade the judge and make it out like I got away with something.  

It appears the real perpetrator is going free.   My daughter has been to many houses.

Anyway, I really need help.   I could use help / friends who can give me some advice on the following:

1.  how to prepare defense, I have an attorney but I need real advice from someone who has been through it.
2.  To explain all the process that you had to go through.  I.E. - psychological tests, some are to test if you are a sexual deviate I think.
3.  Just share your emotions. The little things.  How you coped with depression, etc....

I would consider exchanging personal information, and would love to talk with someone even over the phone.  

thanks

[mistoffolees]

Don't discount your attorney. A good attorney will get you through this.

The actual procedure will depend on what you've been accused of, the practice of a specific judge, as well as what your stbx has filed, so keep in mind that the advice you get here may not be exactly what you experience (important to remember so you don't panic if you get something different than you're expecting).

The fact that the investigation says that her claims were unfounded is a strong thing in your favor.

Good luck.

[Davy]

(Author noted below)
r
False Accusation Charges
How to Survive When You Have Been Wrongly Accused!



It takes willpower, an aggressive mindset, money and a top-notch lawyer to counter false child abuse charges. Dean Tong's survival tips are a must for anyone wrongly accused. Also, see the signs of bona fide sexual abuse versus fabricated sexual abuse.  
If you've been wrongly accused of child abuse: Race to Justice!


 Retain expert legal counsel. Peruse Martindale-Hubbell at your local library.
 Anticipate the worst is yet to come. Yet you must stay cool, calm and collective.
 Create a timeline or chronology as you perceive the events and circumstances leading up to the accusation(s).
 Educate yourself and your legal counsel. Read the current scientific literature by Ceci, Loftus, and other mental health researchers who specialize in child/adult development and memory.
 Study the groundbreaking work on children's suggestibilities and cognition by one of the foremost researchers in the world -- Dr. Stephen Ceci, author of Jeopardy in the Courtroom. To order, call 1-800-374-2721.



Tong's Tips:

Dean Tong, a nationally recognized authority in combating false abuse allegations, offers his advice. A complete version is available in his books.

What to Do If You Have Been Accused

 Recognize you're in for the fight of your life.
 Become familiar with Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), Sexual Allegations in Divorce (SAID) and Recovered Memory Therapy (RMT) aka False Memory Syndrome (FMS).
 Find the necessary resources to retain expert legal counsel.
 Make sure your lawyer can litigate in the court applicable to your case -- juvenile dependency, family, criminal, appellate, or federal.
 Attempt to electronically record all interviews with the alleged child victim.
 File a request for production of documents with Child Protective Services.
 Attempt to suppress all further therapies with the alleged child victim.
 Retain your own mental health expert to evaluate the child's competency as a witness and credibility.
 File motions in limine to stop any prospective unscientific evidence from being used against you in court.
 Retain an expert pediatrician, if necessary, to refute alleged medical findings as "consistent with sexual abuse."
 Retain an FCC licensed video/audio expert, if a tape of anatomically "correct" dolls is made by CPT.
 Make sure your attorney is assisted by an expert trial consultant and/or private investigator.
 Try and win your case before it proceeds to trial.
 Get all depositions "typed up."
 Make sure your lawyer is effective at voir dire (jury questioning).
 Take the necessary psycho-sexual tests to prove your innocence
Polygraph
Plethysmography
Sodium Amytal Testing with Wave Pulse Physiology
Voice Stress Analysis
 
 Secure at least supervised visits with alleged child victim, if it's a child you live with.
 Record every conversation with social workers, either in person or by phone, so they cannot twist your words or report that you said something that you did not say, such as confess to your guilt.
 Click on a leading Family Rights Support Group for help -- //www.usafront.com
 Fairly recent research suggests that SAID accusers, usually mothers about 3/4 of the time, suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD sufferers often use the psychological phenomena of projection, whereby they try to pawn off their own responsibilities onto others. The falsely accused in a SAID case should have the accuser independently evaluated for prospective BPD.


What Not to Do If You Have Been Accused

 Plea bargain, plead nolo contendre, no contest or accept an Alford plea or acceptance into a KIDS program.
 Be afraid to question your attorney or his competence.
 Retain a lawyer or psychologist without first perusing their Curriculum Vitae (CV).
 Admit to a crime that you did not commit.
 Try to reconcile a relationship with a SAID accuser.
 Antagonize CPS, guardians-ad-litem, adversarial counsel or the psychologists in your case.
 Waive your Constitutional Rights, including the right to a speedy trial.
 Expect positive results during motion practice.
 Talk to social workers or anyone else about your case unless your attorney okays it and is preferably present. Your words, even to friends, can turned against you in court.
 Lose your love for your child. Remember, it's not the child's fault!
 Give up! Your life and that of your child's depends upon your persevering.




Bona Fide Sexual Abuse  Child discloses via "free" recall.
 Child exhibits physical signs of abuse (e.g. positive gonorrhea slide or semen in his/her urinalysis.)
 Child appears genuinely "scared" in front of alleged perpetrator.
 Fabricated Sexual Abuse  Mother and child "have" to tell the whole world. Mother can't take no for an answer.
 Descriptions have preposterous scenarios: having sex in spaceships, blood-letting, and animal sacrifices.
 Child's story is largely inconsistent over time, embellishes, and is reported out of an acrimonious divorce, custody battle, visitation dispute or financial conflict.
 



           
           
       
           
       
     
     
 

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

I'm concerned that nowhere in your post did you say it was a false accusation.  You just said you were accused, and that it was determined to be unfounded.

I'll suggest a couple things.

If you haven't already, take a polygraph test with a credible examiner who your attorney recommends.  If you have polygraphic evidence indicating you are not deceptive when you say you have never done XYZ, it can be shared with many parties (albeit not admissible in court unless the other side agrees).

Look for Dean Tong's book, "Elusive Innocence".  It'll give you a ton of information in this area.

[falsely accused]

thanks for the advice.

well, my name is "falsely accused", but I should have stated in my post I am falsely accused as well.   Yes, I am fasely accused, by a vengeful emotinally unstable woman.   I'll look up Dean Tong's information.  

[CustodyIQ]

>well, my name is "falsely accused"


Somehow, I missed that.  Oops!  :)

Good luck.  Many of us have been through similarly hard situations, and we get through it.

Just figure out your plan, do your plan, and don't give up.