Don't know what to do.

[Juniorfan]

A little briefing:  
My boyfriend has 2 kids.  3 years ago he was accused of child abuse.  His ex accused him of putting a bruise on their 3 week old son (Mind you - if I actually believed he had anything to do with it, I wouldn't be with him).  He pled not guilty and had a terrible lawyer.  He is now off probation.  She received full custody of the kids and has basically tourchered him with the kids. He can only call on Sunday's at 5pm.  Thats a battle all on its own.  Either they are not home or his ex has to start something on the phone with him.  The last time he called she told him that he owes her $250.00 a week in child support.  YES she said a week.  Its not like we are doctors or lawyers by any means.  His mom will ask to see the kids and so will we.  She denies us everytime.  She has now told us that we have to go back to court in order to see the kids.  The problem with that is, we don't have the money.  Plus this week I found out that I am 2 months pregnant.  I really don't want his kids or my child to not know who their siblings are.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  She gets assistance for her housing.  I would so like to call and let them know that her boyfriend is living with her and the kids.  But I don't want to put the kids out of a place to live.  Mind you she made a mistake and told us the other day that her and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years (that was when his son was injured).   I just don't know what to do anymore.  

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

First off if he doesn't have Court Ordered visitation he needs to file. He can do this w/o a lawyer, although it is not recommended it is possible. Check to see if your Court has a self help center or look into possible legal aid (he probably won't qualify). Ask for supervised at first then ask for more and more time. As for your pregnancy be sure this won't be a problem with CPS (i'm not sure but him being a convicted child abuser may cause problems with a baby coming into the picture). His only choice eto see his child is to petition the Court and forget about the exs slip up (its all he said she said) he has been convicted of a crime against a child and thats already a big enough strike. I recommend he also take a parenting class (should be available through the state free of charge) and go in humble requesting supervised short visits once the child is comfortable (afterall the child does not know him well) then try for unsupervised then to overnights. DON'T FORGET HE NEEDS TO BE HUMBLE! Whether he actually committed the crime or not the Court sees it as he IS guilty. Good Luck to you and yours

[Juniorfan]

He has tried doing the supervised visits.  It just hurts him way too much to see them in a room like that.  They know who he is.  His mom and sisters make sure of that when they get to see the kids and it helps that he talks to them every week.  He has also went through all of the classes that the court required and does have the documentation of those.

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

What about suggesting supervised at your home with his mom or even if there is a member of her family he is comfortable with. Try to find more than the Court Ordered class just b/c it looks good and can help. W/O an order to go and w/ an order for primary custody mom getting supervised visits me an my fiance signed up for a 12 week parenting class, I have to say it has really helped.