Legal Custody question

[frustratedcp]

Hello all,
Just wanted some opinions on this:

I am the custodial parent and I am trying to do the right thing and be reasonable but I feel like I am in a no win situation.

I have in the past informed ex of all appointments, school functions etc.  I still inform of most things but occassionally miss something here and there.  Ex won't give email so everything is done via phone or mail.

I have been informed through the school that they fax my ex everything they give me which is wonderful.  Therefore I don't feel the need to inform ex of school information.  

Ex still continues to contact me claiming that it is my responsibility to inform him of these events and I know he is already informed.

To top this all off, I have informed him of doctor appts, etc and he doesn't attend anything anyway.  I just don't get it.
 
In my opinion the school is aware we have joint legal custody,

Is it my legal responsiblity to inform him of this information?  Or was that the reason he has joint legal custody, so he can obtain this information himself?

Thanks so much for your help.

[catherine]

and that's exactly what a judge would tell him.  The dr's appointments are a little more subjective.  However, one idea is to create a joint account in something like yahoo.com where both of you have password and login name to the joint account.  You can indicate any important dates on the calendar function.  He can't say he doesn't know then when all he would have to do is look.

[frustratedcp]

I wouldn't have problem with the joint account idea, however would be very uncomfortable putting an account in my name and anyone from his household being able to send email from that account.  I don't see him setting anything up.

[catherine]

You can put the boogeyman's name down for it with a phoney address!  Username/password can be totally unrelated to you.

[LizaLou1]

Its nice that the schools send info directly.  However, in our experience for DH, they only send report cards which are usually a month late even though we provide self-address, stamped, envelopes.  Kids are over 400 miles away so it's not like we can just run over and pick stuff up or meet with the teachers.  

In my case as CP, I always provide info.  I see it as a simple courtesy and I know my ex appreciates it.

Lizalou

[frustratedcp]

Well I know for a fact he gets more than just report cards, he gets any progress reports, detention notes, anything.  

Even then, he lives about 20 minutes from the school and he is in town every wednesday and every other Friday.  

[ocean]

Is he getting copies of what the PTA does? (functions) I know in my school, we hand things out with little notice..maybe a week. So if it is an event that is soon, maybe put it in a notebook that the kids go back and forth with. If the kids are old enough, they can call dad and tell him themselves....or you can just sent the notice home with them on the Wed or Fri after you read it.   I would call the school and ask if he is getting "all notices" and not just the permenant record stuff.   (Then send him a letter with the info you got with the school and how you  will inform him of last minute stuff)  :)

[frustratedcp]

I was informed by the principal that they fax him copies of everything that I get.  He is the only parent that they fax information so they wouldn't forget that.

[kiddosmom]

It really depends on what your CO states...

If it says you have to keep the NCP informed then by law you have to.
If it does not say that then you are not legally bound to provide the information.

If you set up an e-mail (like one yahoo) that provides a calander and you and ex sign and noterize that noone but the two of you (or current spouses) are to have access and noone is to send mail FROM that address.  If you want to inform him of something, send an e-mail from your e-mail addy to that addy and the NCP can do the same. Set it up in your childs name.