SS on AD/HD Med M-F

[swilloug]

I have posted about this before but now have more information.

Our attorney sent BM attorney and GAL a letter stating to let us know if BM is going to continue the medication for SS.  BM attorney responded to stating "SS is beginning Adderal this week as prescribed by his medical physician."  

Our attorney told us that Family Law contempt is different so we can not file a contempt charge on BM even though it state Father and Mother have equal say in non-emergency matters regarding SS.

We are in Missouri, is there anything we can do?

BM is clearly in contempt but I feel like our hands are tied.  BM told SS that he only has to take the Adderal Monday thru Friday.  Does anyone know if this medication can be taken this way?  I have tried to do some research but have not found anything on this issue.

We have hopefully our final court date December 16th and we hope the judge will modify custody.

Thanks for any help

[Kitty C.]

Yes, it can.  It's called academic treatment.  IOW, he's only using it for school.  Many kids may not take it on weekends, during holidays, and over the summer.  They're called 'medication vacations'.

In the case of DS, his is so severe that he takes it every day, or he couldn't focus on anything.  But every child is different and every child who is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD can have it in varying degrees.  BTW, do you have any idea how much he is taking and how much he weighs right now?  AND most specifically, is the doctor who did the diagnosis and prescribing a GP or a  child psych. specialist in ADD/ADHD?  Because the one thing I always tell any parent about ADD/ADHD is never, ever, EVER allow a GP or regular MD diagnose or prescribe those meds.  They do NOT have the capability or knowledge to test for it, thus they cannot effectively diagnose.  What I have seen frequently is those that do almost inevitably over-prescribe.  The quantity of meds is based upon the child's weight, NOT age.

As for what your atty. said, that's pure BS.  Because if that were the case, you could NEVER take the other parent to court for contempt.  If it's IN the order and they violate it, it IS contempt.  And if your atty. won't work for you, I'd highly recommend seeking another who will.

[swilloug]

My SS weighs around 100 lbs. (I would guess) is 13 and is taken 10 mg, daily.

We have talked to the MD that prescribe the meds and he says he will prescribe any more medication.  The psycologist clearly indicated SS does not have AD/HD in a report for the court.

I don't think my attorney is to worried about the contempt charge only because we will be in cout in December and that is the soonest we could get a date.  Do I really need to go through my attorney to file a contempt against BM?  How will it look if we don't file contempt?  or for that matter without our attorney?

We have never had any problems with SS behavior at our home.  We do help him with homework on our weekends when and if he brings it with him.

This is so frusterating.  I can't wait until it's over (hoepfully December 16th).  We hope the judge see every thing for what it really is.

Thanks for your help.

[Kitty C.]

Well, 10 mg is a pretty low dosage for a 100 lb. child.  DS is about 110 and he's on 20 mg. short-acting in the am. and 40 mg. XR at noon, so he's on 60 mg. total EVERY day.  But the bit about the MD making the diagnosis and writing the scripts still rubs my fur the wrong way.  Let's just say that if it were me, I'd be eating him for lunch, LOL!

I'd still talk to you atty. and make DAMN sure that the subject is brought up in the Dec. hearing.  Maybe something to the extent that if she continues to make unilateral decisions on non-emergency medical situations, you WILL file contempt, but you want it stopped NOW.  And make damn sure you take in the report from the psychologist that he doesn't meet the criteria for ADD/ADHD in the first place.  On top of  that, the dosage is so small that even if he did have it, it wouldn't have any benefit to him!

There's a LOT of books and info out there on ADD/ADHD and here's a web site you can check out, too:

http://www.theaddanswer.com/    (This one recommended by Dr. Phil.)

http://www.adhdnews.com/

http://www.chadd.org/

http://www.understandingadhd.com/

One of the best series of books out there were written by Dr. Edward Hollowell, the first called 'Driven to Distraction'.  I was so impressed by it when I got it from the library that I bought it for myself.  He has a few others that are equally good.

LOTS of info here!
 

[swilloug]

My husband and I did see the MD and he was very surprised when we started in on him.  He didn't know we were coming we had never met him before but knew what he looked like from a picture on the web.  He was taken back when he walked in the employee break room to find a battle field.  SO yes we had a snack!  

I don't really think that he is taking enough meds to make a difference, by what your telling me.  I think it is more of a paper trail for BM to convence the court SS has AD/HD.  I really hope he does not get a "good" feeling (high) from the drug where he wants to take it and I hope that he doesn't have withdrawl every weekend.  After going to the sites you suggested some low dosage does effect older teens.  Because we have never seen him on the medication and it is hard to say how it really effects him.  I am sure that BM will come up with some kind of story that it has make a remarkable difference in his schooling, but I will be in contact with the school before court to find out the truth.

This is just the latest problem among MANY!  I did check my SS cell phone call log this past weekend and BM calls him (or text messages) him during school hours. OMG how dumb can you get.  Here you have a kid that has problems focusing in school and you let him take his phone to school with him let alone calling him on the phone.  

I am at the end of my rope with dealing with a mother that "loves her child" so much.  If she did she would start making better choices for him than just trying to keep up with the "Jones."

Thanks again (I could never say thanks enough for the support and information from you).

[Kitty C.]

She gave the kid a cell phone, then calls him AT SCHOOL, when she is pushing the claim that he's ADHD?????  This lady is over the edge!  Get a log of that, if you can.  And DEFINITELY contact the school and ask for details on how he's been doing, before AND after starting meds.

Doesn't the school have policies on cell phone use at school?  I know our district does, I helped set that policy.  At DS's, they canNOT use them and the penalties are pretty stiff if they're caught with them on during school hours.  They can be confiscated and returned ONLY to the parents.  

Way to go with the doc!  Bet he thinks twice about attempting to diagnose a mental disorder again!

Something just came to me, tho.  Does SS take the meds at school?  Are they the short-acting kind and does he have to take another dose around noon at school?  And does the school require documentation signed by both the prescribing doc and a parent?  That's what our district requires.  If he is on a short-acting med and is NOT taking any at school, I'd be looking back at the BM...........maybe SHE'S taking them.  Stranger things have happened.  But something just hit me, cuz things just don't seem to add up.........maybe that's why she went to a GP to get the dx and script and why she's pushing it with the court.......she's using your SS to get HER kicks.  Now, I may be completely off base on this, but like I said, stranger things have happened.  And this stuff sells for a pretty penny at college campuses.  It IS a controlled substance, after all!  If it is in a tablet form, it can be crushed and snorted, too.  Incidious stuff here.

[shawneetears]

Pardon me for butting in but..... here's my 2 cents for what its worth...
Adderall is very very similar to Ritalin...it is a stimulant...  however; when given to children and      s with ADD it helps them to focus and actually acts as a depressant, may even make them sleepy...or "zombies".   Don't get me wrong...it is a good medication when used appropriately.
Kitten...you are absolutely correct... a GP (family practice MD) is NOT the person to be diagnosing ADD on his or her own and any one worth their salt will be calling in a psychiatrist to do further evaluations on the child.
It is especially tricky when the child reaches puberty.  My own DS was diagnosed at 5yrs....the psychiatrist didn't need to be in the room 5 min to tell me what the problem was, his was so severe. Even so he had to undergo reevaluation every six months....just to maintain the diagnosis and full evals every three years; wt and ekg checks,       work...it's not something you diagnose and forget.  DS is now 21 and a great person and managing his ADD without any medication and doing well.  
At 13 it was a different story...the medications made him a thousand times WORSE!!  Even the relatively benign Paxil made him so agressive.
I wont' go into it all but just be very careful.  
IMOHO - if you don't actually file any charges at this time (with the court date so soon it may be more trouble than it's worth) at the very least send a certified letter and a copy of the custody order with the part pertianing to medical things to the doctor and advise him that you insist on being contacted on anything that is not an urgent situation...  this won't keep him from prescribing medications but he might well tell the BM that he wants you present for consultation for anything that doesn't need attention within 48 hours. (you could specify that as a solution to let the doc know that you aren't simply busting his balls but want to be involved in your child's care)  Anyway, just a suggestion.
Now I have a question.....how long since he had that eval that said he was not ADD?  If it has been less than a year that's ok but if more than you might want that redone.  
Unfortunatley kitten is right....many folks use their kids to get      ...either to use for themselves (btw adderall and ritalin as well as dexadrine are all used as diet aides in      s).  Keep a watch on your child's weight; if you notice a decline of more than a few pounds (5-10 max)  that should raise some really red flags.
Ok, enough...hope some of this helps..
Best of everything life has to offer!  :)

[swilloug]

The psycologist sent the report to the court in mid-October.  Orginally SS was taken to the MD October 1 and was prescribed Stratera which made him sick for two days (he slept and has a stomach ache).  BM then when back to to MD November 2nd, a month after the first prescription and after the psycologist report was out.  According to SS he's mom told him he only had to take the meds Mon-Friday.

We had him last weekend and we have him NOW (we picked him up Wednesday evening).  He doesn't seem to be acting in different to me, but I am not sure if the Adderal is a "build up" medication.  

The MD is aware of the court order, we mailed a copy at the beginning of the year and had the office copy it again when we were there two weeks ago.  I think the MD will be much more careful for any future medical decisions since we were so upset with his diagnosis.

It is so amazing to me what parents get away with!  She is not looking out for the best interest of her son, but I be da@!ed if I let her treat him the way she has without a fight.  

Yes I am only his step-mom but his father and I have been together since SS was one, therefore I care and love him like he is my own.  In the beginning I backed her (and still do in ways) whatever she did but sometimes she just goes to far, and this is one of those times.

As my husband said (BF) he would have never went for a modification had she not let him fail school for two years!  And we couldn't do anything until there was a pattern of educational neglect (behind on child support).

Thanks for your help.

[shawneetears]

To answer your one question, adderall is not a "build up" medication...not in the same essence that you get with the ssri's like paxil....  the effects begin withing 30-60 min peak (with the std med) in 2-3 hours and dwindle down.... nearly all the drug is out of the body in 12-24 hours.  The longer "xl" version is a controlled release the peaks quicker and sustains the peak in little controlled burst for 4-6 hours then diminishes....it takes a bit longer for the kidneys to excrete all the medicine but the effects are long over.  The biggest problems have been with things like appetite and oversedation on too high a dose.... with decreased appetite comes weight loss and sometimes dehydration....  
Talk to the child's teachers, see if it is mking a difference in helping him to concentrate.  If he's been on it regularly for 30 days or more with no changes then you need to have another talk with BM AND the DR.
oh, almost forgot......  you dont' see it quite so much in the "xl" form but in the standard formulation you would sometimes see a rebound affect....   example:  my own SS took two doses...one in the morning and one after lunch...lunch being around 11AM (sometimes earlier) and him getting home around 4pm all the effect of the medication was done with....he was often a terror in the evenings....homework sometimes a nightmare....the teacher often let him do it in class just because of that....  
Keep in close touch with the teachers...they will be a valuable rescource.  If you have to, force a parent teacher conference and try to get BM to attend....especially if the school is saying there has never been a problem or that there has been no changes in over a month...and especially if things deteriorate (ie picking fights where he didn't before)
It is kinda rare to suddenly diagnose a child with ADD at 13...there would have been problems before at the very least with attention span.  But take a step back and see how quickly he moves from one thought to another, if he is hard to get focused then hard to get to stop and do  something else when he is focused.  These kids resist change, it really is a stress for them to be without at least some structure.
Being a Step (mom or dad) doesn't mean you can't care for them as if they were your own and the more time you have with them the trueer that is. And my hat is off to you for trying to support the BM when it is for the child's good and mostly supporting SS.  Steps have a fine line to walk and I can only hope I will do as well.
Thanks!

Wish you all the best life has to offer!  :)