Custody Battle

[Jaskel]

Ok I need help as to if I should just skip mediation and go to court.

Here is my story

Back in September, I got wind that my wife was cheating on me. I set up a female friend of mine to go out with her. She did, and my wife cheated on me right in front of my friend. Well I had the proof, so since we are both in the military, I am a E-5, she was a E-4, and the guy that she slept with that night was in the military too. So I took it to her command, which in turn she and the guy got captains' masted. She got reduced in rank to E-3 and got transferred to another unit. Come to find out, the whole 2 year marriage she had been cheating on me. Well then she moved out of the townhouse, and left our son, who is 3, behind. When she got a place a month later, we started doing 50/50 visitation and for his daycare expenses. I am the one that filed for divorce. My son never wants to be with his mother, and tells me all the time. Not that I encourage it or egg it on, I try to tell him that that is his mother, and everything. His mother is young and just wants to party. In October, we signed a agreement that was notorized, stating that I will be the primary parent. Now she wants to fight me to be the primary parent. She has just spent 29 days in a alcohol program at the navy base for help. She also is behind on her bills, they still call my house for her, her phone has been disconnected numerous times, and her car company keeps calling saying she has not payed. So my questions are:

1. By her moving out, and abanding him, which I have proof of, she signed off the lease, does that benefit me?

2. The signed agreement notorized, is that all I need?

3. The alcohol problem and adultry does not help her case at all correct?

4. Not being reliable with her bills hurts her as well, correct?

We have mediation set up for in a week, but is it even worth it. Should I just get a lawyer and fight her in court.

Thanks for any help/advice anyone can give. I hope I explained this well enough

[Troubledmom]

*1. By her moving out, and abanding him, which I have proof of, she signed off the lease, does that benefit me?
Benefit here is that the child can remain in a stable environment in which he is familar and at ease in additionaly it sets a status quo that he has been in the family home with you.

*2. The signed agreement notorized, is that all I need?
Since mother is now claiming she is not in agreement, because it is not a court document, will most likely not matter.

*3. The alcohol problem and adultry does not help her case at all correct?
In most states adultry carries no penalties in child custody matters. (There a couple of exceptions to this)
The alcohol problems could greatly benefit your stance EXCEPT having knowledge of her alcohol issues you agreed to a 50/50 custody placement therefore showing you did not feel her alcohol issues were relevant (I am not stating this as fact but rather as how an attorney could put it) and that this is an issue of control for you not what is in the childs best interest.


4. Not being reliable with her bills hurts her as well, correct?
Not correct. In fact her having an inability to provide for daily needs could result in you being ordered to pay more child support and/or spousal support depending on which state you are in.

This is just a voice of experience and is not legal advice.

TM

[Don]

When I went through custody in front of the judge, it was mandatory that we first went through mediation before the first court appearance even. That's in California.