What can I do to get "Fair" Treatment

[ilovesavannah]

Hello to all you beautiful people!

I've posted several times as my situation has been updated, buthere is the latest.  Next Monday, I have a child suppourt hearing withme and the mother of my child.  They gave me a list of things to bring,the most important of which they say are my check stubs.  I will alsobring checks that I have wrote to her, to show that I've been givingher money, even if they will be considered gifts etc.  At this point, Ireally want to get something settled in this meeting so we don't haveto go through the grind of the court.  So, I make 39,100 dollars ayear.  They say that they will take a percentage of twenty percent ofmy net pay, and that is just too much.  I will barely be able tosurvive once you put into perspective all the bills I have to pay.  I'mmoving out of my two bedroom apt to get in a way more expensive one bedroom for two reasons, the location is in a much closer proximity to mydaughter, and the second reason is that the childs mother had hang upsabout her visiting and spending the night while I had a roomate.  She'sknown the guy forever, but I really think she used that as an excuse. So, in an order to eliminate excuses I moved to a one bedroom in agreat location.  More money spent.  I have car payments, student loans,and all kinds of things to pay.  I don't mind giving her more money, Ijust want it to be fair to me and her!  I want to be able to suppourtmyself, and I want to have something agreed upon in the courts so thatit doesn't have to be a crap shoot anytime I want to see my littlegirl.  She pays her mother for child care so she's not paying asubstantial amount of money, on top of that, my mother cares for thechild a minimum of two days per week.  On top of that I buy the babydiapers, toys, and all kinds of things.  This is not a situation whereme or my family has not been around for the child.  Is there really nogray area to these hearings?  Is it all, this is what you make, this iswhat she gets?  If I proove that I've been there, and that my motherand myself are already assisting in the care of my child, is it stillthe same as if I never was there, never did anything.  I just reallywant to know if bringing up these facts will help my case for jointcustody, and if it will help my case for us working out a FAIR amountof monthly or bi weekly money?  Thanks so much!

[ilovesavannah]

Also my deepest apologies about the lack of spaces in my previous message.  :-)

[ocean]

It is going by the numbers...sorry.. You can ask to have the  mother send clothes, diapers (using child support money) when child is with you. You will also be asked to pay a percentage of medical bills (out of pocket), daycare, activities....this should be based on both you salaries.
Good luck

[ilovesavannah]

Thank you so much for your help, should I put her on my insurance at work?  I could do this, but the mother always says don't do it and that there is no need.  Do you know exactly what the percentage is based on and how it's calculated.

[ocean]

They will probably ask who has the insurance and order that she pays it. THe percentage of the other stuff depends on mom's salary. If you are about the same then you would split it 50/50....if there is a big difference either way it can be changed to 70% 30%...or whatever.
Ask to claim her every other year in taxes...that will be a help some too.

[ilovesavannah]

Thank you so much for all of your help.  I am seriously indebted to you.

[tclouser]

Not sure what state your in but in PA it is strictly on #'s.  The only time the past checks or what ever proof you have of paying her will only matter in the month that she filled.  They will simply tell you you were just being nice with all the rest.  My fiance has paid his ex for three years and has the canceled checks to prove it and it didn't matter one bit.  All the diapers and toys and such aren't taken in to consideration either...we have SS 4 days shy a month of 50/50 and that didn't even matter.  They are going off what he makes and what she makes...and since she won't do anything with her life we are being punished.  They have pretty much cripled us from being able to spend the time we do with SS.  The only hope we have is custody mediation in a couple weeks and hope that we can get 50/50 and get meeting places and such fair and not have to bend over backwards for BM so she won't threaten to not let us see SS.  I hope you have a better experience with the support but I'm affraid you may not.  Prepare yourself for the worst.  She can also agree to a lesser amount then they calculate if that means anything to you.  We were unaware of that prior to going.  If your income is substantially greater then hers be prepared to pay.  Least that's the way it works in PA.  Good luck and God bless.....it's not easy but keep the best interest of the child in mind!!!