reall in need of some advice

[rgordon]

Hi everyone sorry if this is long but I am in desperate need of advice.

Me and my Husband of now has been together for over an year. Him and his ex wife were seprated when me and him met in 07. Well we got together and it has been hell because of her. they have a 4 yr old boy. well when we got together he had him everyday before he went to work. When we moved into together the ex wife got pissed and stopped him from seeing the baby.

well we went to a lawyer so that he could file for divorce scene he was with me and we were living together. well the lawyer said that she could not hold him from the baby. So we told her and said that she could go to jail for all of this. Let me remind you at this time we did not go to court. just telling the ex this is what the lawyer said. well so she let him see him.

It was to to point that My husband would get off from work a midnight and would have to go get the baby drive 30 mins to get home with the baby. bring the baby in the house and then we would go to bed. wake up and take the baby home when he had to go to work . Alot of times I would have to wait for her to get off work . It was crazy. Well the lawyer wanted to have a sit down talk with my husband and ex and they agree that my husband would have the baby every weekend. well we stuck to it .

but it started to be we would have him every week and then that weekend. or we would have him on a monday and tuesday. and then get him again on friday. after that it started we would just get him on Wed. and keep him till sunday. That just tells me that this woman is nutts. she depended on us way to much. Always wanted money. Well the ex and my husband got into a big fight and she hit him with a bat. well to be honest he broke her nose. well we had to go to court for and order of protection that she put out on him. and we went and our lawyer said to just stay away from her.

well all the sudden our lawyer said do you want to go ahead and get child support taken care of because the lawyer knew he was wanting a divorce. well the lawyer looked in the book and said ok from what you are making now you will have to pay $185 every two weeks. we were like ok whatever just get it done. Well the lawyer told her and she was just so happy about it. The lawyer told them to meet him in his office to talk about the divorce. and they did. They dicided to pay there bank account off.

and the ex could have everything they had together. well he drew the papers up and sent them to the ex and she did not sign. so we waited after 90 days and went infront of the judge and he signed the papers saying they were divorce. So after all of this we have not been to court for the child support. but  it was in the divorce papers and our lawyer told the judge that we were paying 185 every two weeks. 1st question. is .. We do still have to pay child support even through we have not been to court. for child support!!!!..


The other problem we are having is , ....

Just about everytime we were going to get the baby from her home. It was either different people watching the baby. with nothing but weed smell and smoke. I would pick that baby up while his clothes were cover with weed smell. Also She brought the baby to my husband work and when i for to the car door there was just weed smell rolling out of the car. while the baby was in the back seat asleep. My husband made me and the baby leave because we both smelled so bad from the weed.

What made us go to court to get an emergency custody was In Nov of 2008 I went to the ex's home to pick up the baby and there was a house full of people smoking and rolling up blunts. while the baby was there. The ex was not at home at the time. So i called the police and they came and arrested her boyfriend that was there watching him and smoking this stuff... Let me say the ex also does this. ...

So our lawyer got the papers signed and we had the emergency custody. well we went to court and did not go through the judge that signed the emergency papers it was a totally different judge. well we all got on the stand and everything . Me and my husband did not lie. I had the police report from the arrest. I had a book that I wrote in of everything she has done to all the days we had the baby.

Well they got on the stand saying that The father of the child has never came got him. It was always me . which was a lie because all the times we got him was either before my husband went to work so he was with me. And we always took him home together. The ex said that her and this man are no longer together. But now come to find out. we had the baby last weekend and he said that this same man that saids he is not with the ex . has been staying the night there and been watching him while the Ex is at work.

That they do not do drugs and can pass a drug test. Just a bunch of lies. well the judge favor to her and dropped the emergency custody. Well she has him now. and it is breaking our hearts. How can I show that he is not wanting to live with her. Everytime he is here and we have to get him dress and tell him that he has to go home to his mommy.

He throws a fit I talking about a fit to where he is crying will not put his clothes on. and when we take him to her. he will scream and cry hold on to his daddy's legs and say I don't want to go. I don't like my mommy.  please help us. we are in need of some advice that could help us.

[MixedBag]

get his divorce papers out and see exactly what the final decree says regarding child support and time the child has with dad.

Follow that and accept all additional other time the mother gives dad.

And do the exact same thing the next time you suspect weed is in the presence of the child -- call the cops.

my gut guess is that sure you had a police report, but did you have a police offficer testify  as to the contents of the police report.

do it all over again and again until either she straightens up or the child is with dad.

[Kitty C.]

The next time a pick-up is done and the child smells of pot, go DIRECTLY to the closest police/sherriff's dept. and have the child tested.  Marijuana stays in the body, leaving the hair last, for quite some time.  If a child has a positive drug test, CPS/DHS will get involved.

Your primary concern should be the safety of that child.  Don't expect a hell of a lot from the judge who ruled on the emergency custody issue, because if he was really concerned, he would have ordered a drug test on the child right then and there.  You need to get other objective 3rd parties invovled, like law enforcement and CPS/DHS.  With a judge like that, only having another goverment entity testifying that the child is testing positive and needs to be removed from the mother's home is about the only way it might happen.