My ex-wife is killing me

[nana0090]

      Hello My name is David I am 29 years old and and divorcee of some 3 years.  My ex-wife lives in New Mexico with my sons.  Okay Let me start from the beginning.  This may get a little complicated but I'll do my best to make it understandable.

      Rachael and I met while in the army.  But before that Rachael was in AIT (School for Army Job) and got pregnant and married Buddy.  When we met Buddy was stationed in Arizona and we were stationed in North Carolina.  Her and I 'fell in Love.'  When Buddy finally arrived in North Carolina, he was in for a shock.  Needless to say Buddy and Rachael split, Rachael and I moved in together and 6 months later Nick was born.  To make a long story short Buddy once gave me hi 'ok' to adopt Nick as my own.  Three years go buy, Rachael and I fight and split up and get back together.  Things were pretty rough during out marriage.  After Rachael and I's time is up in the military we moved back to her home town of Clovis, New Mexico, where her family became an immediate big part of our lives.  Of course this was the classical mother-in-law son-in-law not getting along.  Of course this happened because Rachael asked me to not let her mother know that we are together.  Anyways, as you can imagine things just got worse.  Her parents were a big influence in her life and after her adopted father and I got into a minor altercation on the softball field during church league, Rachael chose to go to her parents home and then I became the victim of the dreadful divorce.  Now I live in Mississippi Rachael and the boys live in New Mexico and she is 'playing hardball.'  With the divorce catching me off guard I just signed.  From that point on in the courts eyes I have no rights except what she allows and she allows my mom to call the boys on Sundays at 1pm.  She says that anything else I will have to get a lawyer.  Now I am opposed to this due mainly to my new found faith in JESUS.  The FAITH that I have in HIM is more than any man can ever try to talk me out of.  HIS LOVE has carried me to all new levels of spiritualality.  Everyday that I am not with my boys knocks a day off my life.  
     
      I have consulted a lawyer on my rights to Nick and I know that I am Jeff's Father.  So what I am in search of is a peaceful resolution.  I still Love Rachael and would be willing to make things work out the way my LORD has chosen.  Yet I am also understanding if she does not wish for us to reconcilliate.  But she can not stop me from playing an active role in my children's life.  I mean her no harm but I brought LIFE into this world, thanks to JESUS CHRIST.  

      If you need more info for further investigation I am open to discussion.  I just want to do what my father tried to do unsuccessfully be there.

[Peanutsdad]

God helps those that help themselves. You are opposed to retaining an attrny? Based on what scripture?
Quite frankly, signing papers giving her sole legal pretty much screwed you unless you can prove a change in circumstance. No I dont mean your newfound faith in God is a changed circumstance,, at least not in a legal sense.


You mention a "minor altercation" at the church softball,, what was it? Were you charged or convicted of a crime?

Are there restraining orders or a protective order in place against you?

Why do you live in a different state? Did she move away? Or did you?

With sole legal she CAN stop you from playing an active role in your childrens lives. It's up to you to change that.



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[tharper001]

Peanutsdad points out some very good questions.  You only mention the divorce... was there anything specific listed about the children?  Or, is it just as you say... what she says goes.

I find it interesting that you say you have found Jesus.  I also find the title of your post interesting with that in mind.

Your best bet is to obtain an attorney pronto, and consider relocating closer to the children.  If you truly want to be part of your children's lives, then have you tried a civil conversation with your ex?  Maybe a heart felt letter if conversations fail.  You should express about the children... not about what you want or need, but what the children need.  

It's a very long road... but remember, Jesus never puts us through what we can't handle.