Should I put in the State Law when requesting time?

[ksmomof2girls]

X and I have joint legal custody with him having primary residence.   We have liberal visitation as agreed up by both parties in the best interest of the children.

Well, he did it again this year. Consulted and made plans with my Dad on when the girls could go visit. I had not even been told that it was going to happen at all this summer. My Dad doesn't talk to me, and neither does my X unless I email him about stuff.

Anyways, its on one of my weekends. Actually the girls will be gone for 2 weeks, and they won't get to see me for 23 days.  I think that I should've been consulted to find out if WE had made any plans for that weekend.  Which we hadn't, but still, that's beside the point.

I have found what Kansas Laws says is Reasonable parenting time.  I am wanting to request to keep the girls for a couple of extra days next week, so they won't have to go that long without seeing me.    

Should I put in there what the Law says, and put the website address along with it in the email that I send him, so he can see what it says? or just wait until he says NO like he always does, then reply back with the Law?  

Thanks

Here is the Law and the website address.
VISITATION OR ACCESS RIGHTS
If I do not have primary residential custody, what access will i have with my child?
Visitation, often called "access" is the right of the parent who does not have residential custody to spend time with the child. The Court may order "reasonable" visitation, leaving it to the parties to work out the details, or the judge may order specific times for access to the child. "reasonable" visitation entitles a parent to see the child at reasonable times under reasonable conditions, after adequate notice.



http://www.ksbar.org/public02/public_resources/public_info_pamphlets/child_custody.shtml

[Kimberly9]

I don't think what you have found is a state law.  I think that Kansas courts vary by district and don't really have a "standard".  What you have found might be a guideline, but unfortunately is probably not more than that.

Your problem is that, "liberal visitation as agreed up by both parties in the best interest of the children." is never going to work.  The parties will never agree.  You will always disagree on what is best for the child.

You need to modify your order.  I think it is called a "Motion for Specific Visitation."

You should get much more than weekends during the summer.  You should have an order that divides the time during the school year, specifies holidays and establishes summer parenting time.  Once you have specifics down in an order that is made for your two girls, then you can make sure that he follows it.

Right now, he is being a pain, but he isn't in contempt of any order so you need to have the order done first.

Get an order done to protect yourself.  The girls deserve time with you.  

Where do you live in KS?  I live in south central KS.

Good luck

[Kimberly9]

Until you have time to get the order modified.  You might try to send a letter Return Receipt requested demanding time with your daughters.  Then if he denies you the time, you have proof that you have tried and need specifics in a court order.



Return Receipt Article (number)

To: (your ex's name)
From: (your name)
Date:(today's date)

Re: Notice of intent to exercise visitation.


As per our custody & visitation orders, I am writing you to notify you that it is my intention to exercise parenting time on the following dates and times.

Pick up: (Date, time, place, and person picking children up)
Return: (date, time, place, and person returning children)
Contact information: (Number where she can contact YOU and child during your period of possession).

As you are aware, our parenting time order says that we have "liberal visitation as agreed up by both parties in the best interest of the children."  It is in the best interest of our daughters to not go 23 days without contact.  Because the girls will be visiting my father during my regularly schedule weekend, I have made plans to exercise my parenting time when they return.  "Reasonable" visitation entitles a parent to see the child at reasonable times under reasonable conditions, after adequate notice.   I am sure that you will agree that my offer is more than reasonable.

Should these dates and times present a problem for you, respond via U.S. Mail by (date) with alternate dates and/or times so that I may have sufficient time to adjust my schedule accordingly to the alternate dates and/or times. If I receive no response to the contrary, I will assume these dates and times to be acceptable to you.

I look forward to seeing (girls' names).

Thank you, (Sincerely, etc. etc.)

(Your name, address and telephone number)

[ksmomof2girls]

Thanks Kim for your response

I'm in Wichita.

you can email me at [email protected]  if you would like

[Bolivar OH]

Kimberly9, great letter.  A definite copy/save to my custody folder.

Thank you

[joni]

that's just a guideline although many incorporate into standard visitation orders.  regardless, it's not working for you and you're frustrated.  you would be best to present a parenting plan that has specifics for regular visitations, holidays and vacations.

here's a good place to get started

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan4.htm

in most states, grandparents don't have visitation rights.  it's assumed that your parents get to see the grandchildren on your time.  since you and your dad don't speak, it shouldn't interfere with your visitation.  that may be the only way to keep your dad from infringing on your time.

[Kimberly9]

most of it is adapted from a standard letter that is passed aroud.  Probably from this site somewhere.  :)