Summer Issue

[kaylene99]

Hope everyone's doing fine.   We're doing great other than the fact that we are having a summer issue with the ex-wife.  Hubby is entitled to a month with the kids during each summer.  Earlier this year, ex-wife kept asking him about summer and, as his best estimate at the time, he told her that we'll probably get the kids in July BUT he wouldn't know for sure until the summer camp information comes out.

Anyway, the summer camp information did come out recently and what would work best is to have the kids from mid-June to mid-July.  We then told the ex-wife about our intent.  Unbeknownst to us all this time, her mother wants to be with the kids for the whole month of June!  The ex-wife told husband that, for this reason, the summer dates we gave her won't work.  She was expecting us to have the kids for the entire month of July instead because that's what he told in the beginning of the year.

I am sure you guys out there can relate that summer camp CAN be very expensive and they are in our area.  The one we are intending to put the kids in is only open till mid-July.  By far, it is the closest to our house, very popular in the area and the most affordable within our budget.  Other camps that are open till end of July or so are charging an arm and a leg!!!  They are also much farther from our house.  Basically, we are looking at over $800 for both kids.  That doesn't even include their airfare and other stuff.  Summer is very expensive for us........

Hubby is very mad about this but feels like we can't do anything IF the ex-wife won't honor the dates we requested.  We don't want to go back to court for financial reasons.  I don't know what recourse we have other than put her on notice IF she does deny the dates.

I hope this can be resolved soon but who knows.  Any advice out there?

[patton]

Does your court order specifically say you have until X date to notify other parent of your designated time for the summer?  Did you actually notify other parent before that time and have proof you did so?  IF your court order does not specify cut off I'd say you are out of luck.


I know the court order we have states you have to notify parent by X date for summer visitation and the CP has option of 3 consecutive weeks and has to notify NCP by X date after NCP notifies CP of time the NCP wants starting anywhere from when school is dismissed up until 7 days before school resumes.

Our NCP sent letter to say she wanted summer visitation BUT did not specify any dates, so we are assuming she wants the default times in the court order if you don't notify the other party with specific dates.

So the CP is notifying her of dates wanted for his 3 weeks which can be non-consecutive (but must be at least 7 days) and giving her 2 other options of 42 days or the default time of 42 days.

Also during the 42 days CP gets child two non-consectutive weekends of his choice.

[Kboeds]

Kaylene I'm not seeing your problem. You say DH gets the kids for 1 month. If he gets the kids at the beginning of July what is stopping him from sending the kids to camp? You state that the camp that is affordable and close to your home is open until mid July. It sounds like you should have about 2 weeks into July to accommodate camp. How long is the camp? If it is two weeks and starts on June 29th then I would think DH could find a way to compromise with either mom or grandmother to get the kids at the end of June.

Otherwise I don't think DH would be able to argue in court if she gives him his month even if the dates are not exactly what he was hoping for.

Like Patton said, I have to notify my ex by April 1 of my requested dates. My DH has to notify his ex by Jan 31 each year of his selected summer visitation. Trust me that one is hard to follow because neither of us even have vacation selection on our jobs until after that. We have to give her the dates and hope like he** that we get approved for our vacation request at work.

[kaylene99]

The problem is we want to get the kids for a full month and the summer camp we want to send them to is only open till mid-July.  This issue is really getting ugly with both ex-wife and hubby arguing about it.  I think it's really unfair that ex-wife makes her own plans BEFORE any plan with hubby is cemented.  She's done this many times before and just expects hubby to change his plans to accomodate hers.

Anyway, my proposal is to hubby is to just get the kids for the 2 weeks in July we could and that's that.  This will be a much shorter summer with the kids but, given the circumstances, this is the best arrangement there is.  He's not happy about it though so I don't know what's next.

Another option I mentioned to hubby is to tell the ex-wife about the other summer camp that's open till end of July and ask her to split the costs (over $850).  He said she'll never do that and I agree.  So, I'm back to thinking to just having the kids on the first 2 weeks of July is the best arrangement.  

By the way, their divorce order states that hubby is to give his ex-wife at least 6 weeks notice and he's actually giving her 10 weeks notice.
Honestly, I don't think this will look favorable on the ex-wife's part in court and will expose her habit of making plans with other people knowing very well that there's an impending plan with the kids and hubby.

[patton]

Well if your court order reads he gets the kids for X amount of time and you've given the ex the 6 weeks or more notice then I'd just pick them up that day and don't take them back until your time is up.  I'm assuming you've sent her the certified return receipt letter stating this information as proof.

You've got a court order that states you have them so many days, and unless she has a clause in the court order that says she has "superior right of possession" then it's not up to her to dictate when he gets the the kids...."It's his choice".

[kaylene99]

Hubby sent her an email and our email system sent an acknowledgment that she has read his email.  I don't think there would be a problem proving that we made her aware of our summer intent.  In addition to the email, we are also going to send her a certified with return receipt letter.

I agree that it's not up to her to dictate when can hubby spend time with the kids.  Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand this concept.

I hope that this can be resolved amicably but I just don't think that's possible this time.  It's unfair that we always have to change our plans to suit hers.