Iowa Courts and Judges - long

[OzrkChic]

I'm wondering if this new bill in Iowa will really be that helpful, especially to NCP's who do not live in Iowa. The judges still have the power to do what they want. Who is going to police them? Who is going to make sure they abide by this new law? I firmly believe that there are some very corrupt judges in Iowa, specifically District 3.

In 2000 BM took DH to court to get his visitation time reduced and get an increase in CS. The oldest girl, was 12 at the time, begged to come live with us. We filed a counter petition for custody. The only change to visitation was that she gets the girls back on the second Saturday before school starts (instead of 3 days before school starts) and DH gets them each spring break in exchange for letting her have them back earlier at the end of summer. The judge  refused to hear the case. He said prior to court that his mind was already made up and nothing DH could say would make him change it. We had to hammer out the details between lawyers.

In 2002 we found out that the youngest girl had been sexually assaulted by her mother's boyfriend when she was 9 y/o. We immediately filed for custody and reported the crime to the sheriff to bring criminal charges. We had overwhelming evidence in favor of our getting custody of the girls. But, the judge dismissed the petition. BM made the girls make a death pact to keep the assault a secret. We found out two years after the fact. She never got counseling for the girls. The list goes on. Oddly enough, that judge was made Chief Judge of that district around the time he dismissed our petition.

Last year, BM denied DH's visitation for spring break and summer. After driving 1500 miles to pick the girls up, we came home without them. We filed contempt of court charges and had enough evidence that the judge found BM in contempt of court in July, sentenced her to 7 days in jail. In August, he dismissed the charges and let her off scott free. The evidence didn't change. Then he brought the girls into the courtroom and made them listen while he proceeded to crucify DH and said that he "thinks all summer is too much visitation anyway." DH gets every spring break, all summer beginning with the first Saturday after school is out till the second Saturday before school starts, and every other Christmas. He and BM are to split the cost of transportation for all visitation equally. She is refusing to pay her half and the judge let her off. She says that since we moved to New York from Texas, it costs her more and she doesn't think she should have to pay it. She agreed during the 2000 modification hearing to pay half. There was no stipulation as to distance or anything. The judge said he thought it was just a big fight.  BM still owes us for her half of plane tickets from Christmas of 2002 and from travel to Iowa to get the girls last year.

This was all in Sioux and Plymouth county, mostly Sioux. We believe that BM's attorney paid them off somehow or promised them favors or something. There were just too many things that went wrong and in the last case it was obvious from some of the things the judge said that BM's attorney got to him. He would not have known to say the things he did otherwise.

These judges need to be stopped before they ruin anymore lives. DH has never, in the 13 years since his divorce, missed a visitation until last year. DH has never  missed a CS payment but has had his wages garnished twice and the IRS seized our income tax return last year. We have notarized documents from the Iows CRSU showing that he is current and they still garnished his wages. Oh he did deduct the amount of her half of the plane tickets from the CS. It amounted to $243.50, nowhere near equal to a months CS payment. On top of that, CSRU deducted more than what he was in "arrears" and they refuse to refund it. Luckily we were able to get our income tax refund back in full.

Needless to say that we have zero faith in the justice system in Iowa. DH had been stripped of his parental rights by BM and the judicial system. Oh he still has the right to pay CS and medical bills but that is all.

OzrkChic

[lissa68]

Melissa(lissa68)

Email me at this address, I am in Iowa in fact I am in Sioux and O'Brien counties, I may be able to help you here.

Melissa

[Kitty C.]

I understand your pain, truly I do.  And regardless of ANY law, there will be judges who will circumvent it.  It's been happening since the Constitution was written and will continue.  No, no single law will get them to shape up and fly right.  BUT, there is one other thing we as registerd voters CAN do........vote them out of office.  Judges ARE elected in this state (Iowa) and tho you never or rarely see them campaign, you will see their names on the ballot.

Our jobs now is to single out the abusers of the system and tell everyone how they abuse children.  I have been voting for many years and know that I've just automatically voted for many judges, not knowing ANYTHING about them. We have to change that.

[Hawkeye]

I agree Kitty, judges can "interpret" any law in nearly any way. The judiciary in this country has far too much power and too few watchdogs.
Appointing Bush as president is a prime example, but let's not discuss that here.

OzrkChic, The point, however is, a bill (hopefully soon to be law) such as HF22 helps to level the playing field, where the players are basically equal.

Sure, some will use stuff like breastfeeding as a "legitimate" reason, but even breastmilk can be bottled and sent along with a father.

My ex was hopsitalized two months after our son was born and since she was comatose, could not breastfeed. Drs orders were to start formula and stop breastfeeding due to her medications.

Guess what... it didn't bother our infant at all... And ya know what else? By feeding previously frozen breastmilk from a bottle, then formula, we knew exactly how many ounces he was taking in.

Now I spose the LaLeche league or someone will invent some kind of method to measure a breast or some absurd "one size fits all" schedule or something, just to prolong that excuse. LOL... well, no more excuses!

Pardon my rambling, I just went from one boob to another... no offense ladies.... I remain all in favor of breastfeeding, have absolutely no objection to it, unless it's used as some lame excuse to convince an elderly, uninformed, biased or just plain ignorant judge to marginalize a devoted father/parent who can warm up a bottle. No rocket science or even women's intuition there, eh?

HF22 is not a cure-all, but it's a step in the right direction and part of a
growing trend in this country that parents can and should be treated EQUALLY.

Of course, the genders are different, I think it's safe to say that generally women are better at needlepoint and men are better with jackhammers, and in some cases the exact opposite is true... But we need to APPRECIATE each other as parents and get this stupid, antiquated, adversarial legal system headed in the right direction, that being showing the children, future adults, the true meaning of fairness and differences, and EQUALITY.

If we don't, who will???

And agreed, again, Kitty, we need to keep a closer eye on judges and vote out the bad ones, even impeach them. Yes, they impeach judges in Colorado.  Just check out //www.childrensjustice.org for more info.

Support HF22 by contacting Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack
 

[OzrkChic]

Thanks for your reply Kitty. Unfortunately, we don't live in Iowa or we would be waging a MAJOR campaign to get these three judges voted out of office. I would be more than happy to post their names here (if that is acceptable protocol for this board) so that those in Iowa can vote them out for us. They need to be removed from office so that they cannot abuse and victimize more children and NCP's the way they have done my DH and his girls.

OzrkChic