Child wants to bring home bike that was purchased...

[WendeeBee2003]

Hello everyone!  Just found your site today and we have an issue that has now come up twice.

My fiance is the father of 2 girls - 15 & 10.  We purchased them each a bike for them to use on their visits with us.  He gets them every other weekend.  Problem now is that the 15 year old wants to bring her bike home as the one she has there is broken and her mother refuses to buy her a new one saying that she should bring this one back home as she is only here every other weekend etc...  These aren't my kids but I am at a loss of what we should do...  Pick and choose our battles etc but if we let her bring this home what will be next?  Her bed?  She's brought virtually everything else home with her.  All that is left is this bike and her bed really...  

Should we just let her bring it home and be done with it??  I really don't know what to do.  Have you any suggestions?  Have you been through this before?  Any help would be most appreciated.

Thanks!  :)

[ocean]

How far away does she live? We kept the bikes at our house too because it is a pain to bring back and forth. Can you find one at a garage sale for BM's house or wait one to go on sale and have her use her money to buy one (chores?). If you use it a lot on your weekends, I would keep it by you, if not send it with her home. Like you said, pick your battles....

[WendeeBee2003]

>How far away does she live? We kept the bikes at our house
>too because it is a pain to bring back and forth. Can you find
>one at a garage sale for BM's house or wait one to go on sale
>and have her use her money to buy one (chores?). If you use it
>a lot on your weekends, I would keep it by you, if not send it
>with her home. Like you said, pick your battles....


They live approx. 60 KMs away.  Agreed it was a pain to bring them back and forth which is why we went out and bought them in the first place.  Not sure what "BM" stands for as I am just new to this forum..  His daughter did want this bike so bad for this place - he paid 1/2 and she paid 1/2 with $$ received from my fiances parents (her grandparents)...  more than anything is the fact that her mother is saying this is her bike and she is the one refusing to buy her a new one...  pick and choose the battles...  poor kids always get stuck in the middle...  I'm more on the side of just giving her the bike to take home...  her visits are getting few and far between due to her age, friends, school commitments and part time job...   Best just to give it to her to take home.  Thank you for your feedback.  I really appreciate it.  Take care.

[MixedBag]

BM = bio mom.

pick and choose, yes.

Maybe find a second inexpensive bike

at 15, she'll probably want her driver's license soon and a car!

[Cookiemomma4]

>
>pick and choose, yes.
>
>Maybe find a second inexpensive bike
>
>at 15, she'll probably want her driver's license soon and a
>car!
 
I agree, you can pick up a bike at WalMart for like $50...you need to pick your battles and if you come to a decision on this one that benifits DF's daughter, you guys will be the heros in her eyes!

Sorry, too many forums for me!  DF=dear fiancee

[WendeeBee2003]

Thanks so much to all for your comments and help!  :)

Sorry for the delay, we went away for a couple of days on a much needed mini-vacation.

We did end up giving her the bike to take home - DF drove it home for her last Sunday evening..  DF's daughter was not in the least appreciative...  :(  It's been a really bad divorce (and she's in the teen years) that sadly has affected everyone..  no matter what though, on our side we try our best to deal with the 2 girls the best we can and have come to the realization that we have sadly no control over what poison their BM feeds them.  :(

I'm divorced myself (10 years now) and mine was nothing like his.  Mine was long overdue and we both now have a clean break that thankfully we have both moved on from and our one and only daughter (now 22) was always kept out of parental issues.  Can't say the same for his - but I try to support him the best that I can and am very aware of my place in all of this.  

This forum has been quite helpful in getting many answers for me and I hope everyone makes it through fine.

Take care and thanks again!!  :)