Visitation

[mustang]

I've been divorced 9 yrs- twin girls 12 yrs old. I have the typical every other weekend and one evening until 8:30 during the week. I have filed 5 contempt of court charges in as many years. As a Pro Se litigant , I'm up against her and her attys. She's never found guilty, either I forgot some mundane info or the judge sends us to a mediator. If I could afford her $75 per hour, I'd have a lawyer. We do have an agreement that my current wife can pick up kids for me when neccesary. Not often. My wife is CP's biggest problem. She has denied my wife from picking the kids up. Charge 1. She denied me a few weeks later  at the gym by saying she only had 1 child with her. The other twin was home. Charge 2. The show cause hearing is in 2 weeks. The usual scene is, CP will start to cry, saying she wants kids to visit with me, then state things that have nothing to do with why we are there. The judge denies the contempt. I'm out a days pay and we are back in mediation! Anybody have any suggestions. I don't want her jailed, just to abide by the agreement as I have done. My wife will be in court to testify if necessary.

[notnew]

Stop sending your wife to pick up your kids.

I KNOW there is no earthly reason why your wife shouldn't be able to do this, but the facts are that your ex is a hostile parent and if you haven't gotten one contempt to stick in 5 years, she's being successful with it.

When you go in for this next contempt, ask that your exchange be at a neutral place like a police station where both parties will have to travel to (so she will have both of the children). She KNOWS she is supposed to have both of the kids with her.

If specifics regarding times, etc., are not clear in your order, ask for them to be specific. Come to court with your proposal in hand.

My ex cries and plays the poor little me act everytime and it works everytime.

When she talks about things that aren't relevent, object and say this is not relevent.

I suspect your failure to succeed in your contempts lies in your procedure or how you are conducting yourself in court. It is very difficult to learn all the nuances of court and all of the things attorneys are expected to do.

$75 an hour is a bargain. Mine is $200 an hour.

Your wife will not be allowed to sit in the court room while others are testifying if you are going to call her as a witness. Potential witness's cannot hear the testimony of others.

I've abided by the agreement to the letter from day one. My ex never has and the court does nothing. I did get her found in contempt on two charges though for what it was worth. Her punishment? A slap on the wrist. Jail time is very rare in contempt motions.


If your ex made statements in earlier testimony (even another hearing) that you need to ask her about, you need to say: In earlier testimony, you testified that ....

You cannot say... You said, or the child said (child said to me statements are heresay).

I hope this has been helpful information.
Not an attorney - just been through it for too long!

[mistoffolees]

One of signs of maturity is learning from your mistakes. If you've filed for contempt 5 times and lost every time, either you don't have a decent case or you do have a case and are not capable of presenting it pro se.

$75 per hour is very, very cheap. In fact, I'd be surprised to see any competent attorney working for that. Mine is $350 per hour and she's not the most expensive in town (just the best!).

My advice is that you need to find an attorney. If you really don't have any money, look for your local legal aid group or find someone who will work pro bono or allow you to pay over time. If it's an option, get a second job, quit smoking, sell your attic contents on eBay, beg from friends, do whatever it takes to get the money. Going it alone obviously isn't working.