Regarding pickup and drop off issues

[vidal]

Hi all

In my divorce papers my ex must pick up and drop off our child for his visitation times. He lives on the other side of town and nine times out of ten refuses to either pick her up at my home or drop her off here, as he is obliged to do by our parenting plan. I will either have to meet him at a half way spot or drive all the way to his home. This issue is almost always concerning the return of our child as he will often pick her up from school, (which is right next to his house) to start his visitation times.  If I do not agree to pick up our child I will essentially not get her back.

I am fed up with him not abiding by the parenting plan and am looking for advice on what I can do to have him held in contempt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[janM]

You could file for contempt, and/or change your orders to state that whoever is starting parenting time picks child up. Do you have emails from him saying he won't bring her home? Are you in a one-party phone recording state, and you have him saying he's not bringing her?

If he fails to bring her home, you could go there with a police standby (with court orders in hand) so that there is documentation of his refusal. Then call in the cop to testify. You'll need to show that you have good reason to change the pickup/dropoffs.

[Kitty C.]

'He who wants, fetches.'

You could try to file contempt, but you will also have to weigh the cost involved with any possible outcome.  You have to understand that it's very possible that even if it made it to court, the judge may only slap his hands and tell him not to do it again.

So you have to pick your battles.  If you want her, go get her.  If he wants her, he can come get her.  In essence, that's a 50/50 split in transportation, which is a fairly normal practice.  And if he's allowed to pick the child up from school, then I guess he gets the best end of the deal.  So if you do take it to court, insist that he pick her up from your home instead.  That would also even things out.  

And if he refuses to pick her up from your home, then I guess he's SOL.  If you end up getting a modification on this, also insist that he has a certain length of time to do the pick-up, unless he's called within 2 hours of the p/u time to tell you he will be late.  That's what DH has in his order.  If he's more than 30 min. late for p/u and didn't call the BM to tell her he'd be late, he FORFEITS his parenting time for that weekend.  And that has NEVER happened.  If you put some 'teeth' into the order such as this, it might make him think differently about refusing to do pick-ups.

[Davy]

Wait a minute.

Which party set the specifics of the pick-up/return and were the terms by agreement or force in the parenting plan ??

Since the father resides next to the school (starts parent time) has the other parent relocated across town since the order was put in place ?

What does 'other side town mean' in terms of time, distant and frequency ?  this could be a hop, skip and jump in a one horse town or very significant in a major metroplex.

Since the parenting plan doesn't seem to be working would it be OK to
maintain the status quo and change the plan so that both parties were incompliance ?

More over, what is of most benefit to the child ?  Generally speaking, the benefit to the child is greater the more value time a child spends with the father.

Come to think of it, if the return exchange normally occurs on a school night would it not be best for the child to stay next to the school (father's house).

I'm wondering what idiot defined and ordered the terms of the parenting plan !!  Really !  Focus on the child and think about it.