PBFH is driving me NUTS!!!!!

[happy2bstepmom]

I haven't been on here in a while, but my SD came to live with us in November of last year.  She seems quite happy.  She went home to visit her mom for Spring Break.  NOw keep in mind that we are still paying child support.  Her mom calls us all the time.  I just ignore the call.  Every once in a while I will email her to suffice her or talk to her.  But she calls like 15 times a day.  Generally its about child support.  Recently she got a check she wasn't expecting.  Im not sure where it came from, because it didn't come from us.  She was like well I want to know where it came from.  And then she accused me of lying.  Im like if I sent it, believe me I would tell you.  She has nothing better to do than sit around worrying about us and what we are doing.  Im sick to pieces of talking to her.  She calls when she knows SD is in school, so I know its me she wants to talk to.  I just hope and pray she will get a job, and a life, so that she can have other things to do besides bug us about money, and what we are up to.  Back to the original point.  SD spent week w/mom and stepdad.  She told her mom about the prom dress she is wanting.  I think she should have to pay for it, since we are still paying CS right?  Anyway, mom informed SD that she wasn't paying for nothing, we would have to pay.  Has she lost her mind?  Boy she really takes the cake!!  I don't get it.  I keep thinking it will get better, but I really don't know.  Any pointers or suggestions greatly appreciated, before I lose my MIND!!!!!!!!!!  Renae

[nosonew]

Renae, just ignore her calls, get caller id and DON'T answer!!! I wouldn't even turn on the answering machine, or I would put it on 2 rings and let it pick up.  

Okay, its been 4 months, 2 more months and I hope you plan to go to court to change custody and get HER to pay YOU child support.  Also, I hope you are taping these calls, as well as documenting everything so that you can show she doesn't care about dtr, just the $$$.  

And to try to stop the nonsense, when you answer, tell her she must talk to your hubby about every issue.  (Don't say it like that) But if she calls about something, say "You will need to speak with DH about that", and say that to EVERYTHING she asks you about.  And then hang up.  No sense in wasting your time, energy, and sanity.  

Hang tough just a couple more months and GOOD LUCK!

[Kitty C.]

When you do go to court for custody, leave the CS out of it.......for now.  She would probably be more willing to hand over custody if she knows she will continue to get that money.  Then wait at least 6 months or more and nail her for the CS.

As for the phone calls, record them ALL.  Even if your state is a 2 party, tell her you are.  If she continues to talk, she's giving implied consent.  Keep documentation on dates and times of calls.  Then contact your local LEA and ask them what they consider harrassment.  Sometimes even the threat of pressing charges will make idiots like her back off.  She calls because you answer and talk.  You've set a precedence and idiots like her will take a mile if you give them an inch.

Hey, got another suggestion , but this is for the prom dress.  Mind you, the last time I went to a prom, it was almost 30 years ago, but I'm thinking that things in retail haven't changed THAT much, LOL!  I bought my senior prom dress in Feb., at an exclusive department store.  It was a beautiful dress, something I never imagined I'd ever be able to afford, but it was ONLY $15!  Why?  Because it was from last year's stock!  I was also about a size 5 at the time, so what they had left from the year before was very small and very large sizes.  The original price was $60, a LOT of money back then!  And it had been marked 3 times by the time I got it!

[sweetnsad]

STOP answering the phone....do you have caller ID?  If not..then it's a great investment....you shouldn't have to deal with her...it's stressing you out!  Tell her to speak to DH if she has an issue...the woman is mental...try your best to avoid her at all costs...she's basically harassing you and you shouldn't have to tolerate it..Even if SD is living with you.

[BelleMere]

Once she's been with you a year, you should definitely do this. Meanwhile, call the phone company and see what the legal # of phone calls per day is to start filing harassment. She should only call once, to talk to her child. Otherwise, it's harassment. Caller ID and voice mail have saved my sanity over the years, frankly . . . .