No show at mediation what can we do?

[Ref]

I know some of you went through this. It seems like such a childish tactic to delay proceedings.

DH is suing PBFH for change in visitation and contempt. She never showed to the first deposition. A few weeks back she was given ,through DH's attorney, notice of mediation - which was ordered by the judge. She just called Dh and told him that she isn't going to show at all because she can't afford to split the costs of mediation - as required by the judge.

What can we do?? Any advice would be great.

PS we live in NE and she lives in Florida

[Peanutsdad]

Yup,

Motion to Compel and sanctions.

[Ref]

Are they going to try to fine her? She has no money. She has lived on welfare , or something like it, for over 9 years. She has no house, a crappy car and that's about it.  

All I know is, it will be over a year and a half that this one case will be going on.

What are their other options? Jail time? How do you guys handle threatening jail time to someone that has your child 90% of the time? What do you tell your child?

It is so difficult trying not to screw-up your kids (or step-kid's) heads while demanding what is best for them.

Legal and mental advice appreciated!!!

[hisliltulip]

Is the actual evaluator chosen by the judge?  Or did the Judge just order an evaluation done?

The reason I ask is because DH's was ordered by the Judge.  She chose one that worked off of a sliding scale since BM doesn't like to work.

The actual cost of the evaluation was $1400, which was to be split in half.  $700 to BM and $700 to DH.  BM actually didn't have to pay a cent (nor for her lawyer), and since DH had been laid off a couple weeks before they checked income levels he paid about $575.  

I'd ask your lawyer what to do, they should know, or atleast know who to talk to about the problem.

Otherwise, since your BM is on welfare (or something like it) you may end up being ordered to pay for all of it.

Going through DH's dispute with BM was a nightmare.  MANY things got drawn out by her that would have not been just because she was on welfare.  

Why?  Because she could afford to drag things out, it's not like she had to contribute a dime to anything.  Whereas Hubby and I begged for $4000 for retainer (gotta love Grandma!), took out a loan with my car as collateral, DH got in carwreck and check showed up 2 days before payment was due on eval (divine intervention), and the last final bill shows another $5500 owed to Attorney.  He's still working for us though, because BM is repeatedly stalling the CS order.  She doesn't want to pay anything.

The upside to all our financial hardship?  DH finally got physical custody of now five year old SS in January.  It was two years of custody battle.

SS is happier little boy now in a lot of ways.  We still run into some bumps, but atleast they're not mountains!

Good luck!

[Ref]

The Judge ordered that mediation take place. In the order, he stated that DH's attorney pick the mediator and the fee be split 50/50.

Thanks to both of you for suh helpful advice. I don't know what I would do without this page!

[Peanutsdad]

Sanctions dont have to be fines or jail. One sanction that my ex is being hit with for refusing to produce documents, is not being able to present evidense nor witnesses at our final.

[nosonew]

When ours was ordered, it was stated that if one party didn't show up, the mediator spoke with the parent who did, and any decisions that were made, were made.  If the other party wanted to contribute, they would show up.  Period.  Hmmm, no wonder bm shows up!--But everything in our conferences is sent to the judge, an important fact.