New, confused, angry and needing help

[Daddy42]

This is all very new for me. My ex and myself just split after three years together and we have twin 2 1/2 year old daughters together(well I say together, she has other ideas).

Cliff notes version:
Rocky relationship and we both made mistakes and for a while the only reason we were together was for the girls. Relationship broke down and she told me to leave and for the sake of the girls I did. Just after I left things were okay, I was able to go to (my house) and see them as I please or as her schedule would allow. That changed abruptly and for no reason to now she has stated if you want to see them, you'll have to take me to court. She has turned real angry and mean spirited and as much as I want to retaliate I know I can't. I've given her 700.00 a month for support and continue to do so although I am not able to see them. She has filed support papers and that is fine, all I'm asking for is visitation and nothing more.

Not a day goes by that the whole situation doesn't break me down to tears. From waking up and seeing my girls first thing to them being the last thing I see when I go to sleep, then to coming over and seeing them and now nothing!!!! Its taking all I have in me to stay in control.

I'm in the process of filing the papers but the filing fee is 350. I was told that if there is an open support case that I would not have to pay that fee and they can just piggy back off that case. Anyone know if that's true?

I'm just really lost...in my opinion it was my job to keep the family together and I didn't do that and now the only thing that matters is my daughters and I don't have them.

To be honest, I don't know what I'm asking for right now so any guidance, advice (legal or mental) is greatly appreciated.

This is a fight I don't want to be in but I WILL FIGHT with everything I have for those girls and to be in their lives.

Help!!!!  

- Lost in Sacramento

[kitten]

I am in Sac too.  You have a PM.

[dontunderstand]

What state are you in?  We had a very similar case.  BM would only allow DH to see SD when it was convient.  The best thing that I can tell you is to get a parenting plan ASAP!!!  Do not allow her to bully you!  Ask for joint custody if that is what you want.  You will probably get less, but if you have been in there lives for the last 2 1/2 yrs.  you have a good shot.  The sooner the better and then she and the court can't say why didn't you do this sooner.  
In my case BM is a sociopath, she will use anyone and everyone including SD to get control of the situation.  She has made allegation after allegation, sent the sheffif's to our house @ 2:30AM, filed a restraining order on me, ect...the list is endless!  I am telling you this becase if your BM is 1/2 of the person our BM is than you are in the fight of your life.
The very best advise I can give you is to document everything you can.  Every single phone call, visit, etc...just get a notebook and write down everything, dates, times, quotes, etc.  
Never loose your cool!  I guarentee it will upset her far more than anything else you can do!  Even if you have to put on a happy face and bit your tongue~she will just be bating you so that you will explode and then she can say see, I told you he is ---------- (what ever se thinks you are)
Remember that you are in it for your girls whom are worth every doller, every bit of anger, hurt and frusteration.  Never give up no matter how far away she pushes you.  Your daughters are worth it and they will see how much you love them!
I hope this helps a little...