How this looks from the outside - Fathers Day email from Momster

[teffy19712]

I just want to give some basic background then post this email...

In Feb. my DH threatend his ex. with contempt for not sending down his oldest son - 13. In March we were accused of child abuse and put under an Order of Protection - the abuse has been found UNFOUNDED. We agreed to Supervised Visitations in the Order to keep the 13 year old accuser off the stand due to his mental health issues (intutionalization and medications for his mental health). However, last month DH filed to have that order vacated so we can file for custody based on many other issues. We since have been getting harrassing emails from his ex. wife - we keep them all but dont respond. My question to the board is how do these look to someone outside the situation. With only the basic information I have given you - how do you interpret (sp?) this email.


Ex-husband-

I wish you would stop threating Kiddo (the oldest child).  Why bother trying to have your kids when you left at 4pm today and get them until 9pm on Father's Day.  I don't understand you anymore you use to spend as much time as you could with the boys until the new misses came into your life doesn't that tell you anything i told you before you married to watch out because when you marry someone who doesn't like kids, doesn't want kids everything changes for your kids.  I feel sorry for you you have messed up your whole life with yur boys for Stephanie and will never have them the way you want or should have your kids.  I wish they still meant everything to you as they did before your new life they could have been a great part of that as they are in my new life but you have changed and so have your feelings and your kids and everyone else sees that but you.  

Momster

*****************************

We only got them until 6pm per the divorce agreement - she is in error. It takes one hour for the drive home - the supervisers take them home -not us.

She starts off mad that DH supposedly threatened his son - but then gets mad cause he didnt stay longer with tham - does that make sense to anyone??
Anyway - just trying to see how people outside the situation will view these kinds of emails - we have about 5 of them in the last two weeks alone.

Thanks,
Steph

[hagatha]

Steph,

Most of the time Judges don't even look at email. However, I would say she is setting the stage to accuse your Dh of both abuse and neglect. He is either mentally abusing the boy during the limited time he has and neglecting the boy all other times. Oh Yeah, and you are the reason for both.

Using the tired old "divide and conquer" method, she is hoping to plant a seed in his head that you are the only reason he doesn't have a relationship with his children.  I guess in the "how to be a true PBFH classes they all seem to take, this works for them.

I'm not sure if y'all have a GAL involved yet but I would suspect she is going to, if she isn't already, complain about much the same crap to insure you and DH are portraited as uncaring and unfeeling.

Documantation here is the KEY to showing her in her true light. Every thing said or done to or about the children from Both parties should be written down. And everything, good and bad should be presented to the GAL to give a clear picture if the actual situation

The Witch


Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[teffy19712]

Right - that will be her allegations - we know that. We have tons of documentation - I dont know what will be allowed and what won't. We documeted almost every activity with the boys for the last year - not only in calendar form but by pictures. Dont get me wrong - I have had words with her and that doesnt make me look real saintly either - but they were about DH - I NEVER metioned the boys - but its still makes me look immature.
She will also state that we are not involved with the boys schools and counseling - I have saved all emails, faxes, and phone logs to document conversations with all of these professionals to show DH's involvement. Plus I have kept a running diary of who we talked to and when.
When we email her its direct and to the point - we dont talk about any adult relationships - just make our point. For example - a month after Kiddo threatened suicide her father bought him a knife - we were flabbergasted and said so in an email - her basic response was how dare he question her ability to raise her kids and none of this would have happened had he not married me....yes, I am Satan - lol.

Okay - well, thanks.  Just wondering how such a thing looks. Thankfully this ex. is low functioning and will tell the judge how she still loves DH and I messed it all up - well, she tells everyone else that so I can hope she is stupid enough to say that in court!!

Steph

[wendl]

welcome to being a stepmom. You will be accused of everyting under the sun, even if you treat your stepchildren with all the love and respect they deserve.

Some woman feel threatened for their chidlren to have another femail role model in their childrens lives, instead of being gratefull that you care for them and treat them right. lmao, you can even have a child of your own and be a great mom, however in the mothers eyes you will never be able to give them the love she has for them, which is pretty funny in my eyes. I personally have never heard that is was bad for children to have love from family members as a bad impact on their lives.

:)
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**