A Poll, for MOMS AND DAD's of TEEN daughters....

[1angrystepmom]

My "Poll question"  is this....

IF you have a menstruating daughter.... wouldn't you know if she had NO period for awhile???

I KNOW I would, Hello, I buy all the "necessities" notice the irritability,  Reese's peanut butter cup cravings, etc....  

(I guess I am wondering.. is SD THAT good of a liar, Is BM THAT stupid, OR.... have they simply been hiding this to avoid a change in custody?)

Amber

[Kitty C.]

You hit the nail SQUARE on the head, Amber!   You're damn right they BOTH hid it this long because the BM knew FULL WELL that this would be a justifiable reason for a change in custody!  Goes directly to the general attitude of a PBFH, you know??!!

You've got to file for modification based on what the judge said last time, or BOTH those babies will be lost.  Only with you and DH will your SD ever be able to face the reality of what it really takes to be a parent.  With a mother like hers, it's no wonder she has no clue!  And just maybe you can talk about adoption with her, after she gets hit broadside with the financial and physical realities of parenthood.  Time for some Tough Love, I think.  Cuz if I were you, as soon as she's safe in your home, take her 'shopping' and make a running list of the 'necessities', both initial and recurring, needed to take care of a baby, then add it all up and ask her what job that either a 15 y.o. or a HS drop-out could afford the cost.  Sometimes they just can't see the light till it blinds them, you know??

[kiddosmom]

I have a 10 almost 11 yo. I know it will not be to long before she starts, I have already talked to her about it.
I hope I do not have to worry about the other talk untill she is like 30!

[Indigo Mom]

-----I hope I do not have to worry about the other talk untill she is like 30!-----

Looks like you're living in the same world as me.  The one where our kids won't have sex before marriage, and marriage won't happen til they're at least 45.  That's what I've been holding onto...yessiree!

However, my son, that little sh*t...has another girlfriend!  They've kissed...ON THE LIPS!!!!  She tried to get him over by this shed next to the school so they can do more stuff.  GAWD!  He's 8!!!  He doesn't like girls!!!!!!!!!!

Call me selfish, but I AM the only "girl" he's allowed to kiss for at least 37 more years.

[kiddosmom]

OMG,, you may want to talk to the little girls mom,, tell her the lil hussy is not to seduce your baby!!! hehe
The lil girl may be acting that way for several reasons, most think its ok because they see parents kissing, or hugging. Then again it may be something worse.

[Indigo Mom]

-----OMG,, you may want to talk to the little girls mom,, -----

I've seen the woman, and she is "to' up from the flo' up"...and also giggles when her daughter does this.  Methinks "flooze" runs in the family.  The girls sister started pawing at my son yesterday after school, too...mom saw it all!!!!  

I'm doing one better, I've placed a call to the teacher...still waiting for her to call back.  If she doesn't...I'm making a trip to his classroom after school.  This will not stand!  I'm going to have him watched at recess...no child of mine is doing ANYTHING until he's 45!!!!!!

I personally don't care "why" this girl is acting out...it ain't happenin' with my lil dude!!!

[kiddosmom]

Poor little girls. some mothers just have no clue.

Thats a good idea about calling the teacher btw.

[MKx2]

Maybe I would and maybe not Amber ...

I'd like to aswer with a definitive "YES" ... but because mine are steps, I often am excluded from a lot of that sort of thing.

This past summer YSD was with us and due to stress in her life had not had a period for about 3 months.  No prob.  She DID start finally and had two while she was with us (I did take her to the dr. and he said not to worry), BUT when she left to got back to PBFH's she told her she STILL hadn't had a period!  PBFH called her every name in the book and accused her of being PG.

Now why the hell would a kid lie about that???

I'd like to think I would have been the same kind of mom to a daughter as I was to DS, who told me most everything ... but ya just nevre know.

I do believe I WOULD notice a rounding tummy and the mood changes though ... even if  there was no "supply" issue.

My guess is SD is a good liar, was terrified, and BM is too busy with her own life to take much notice.

[ConcernedCP]

>My "Poll question"  is this....
>
>IF you have a menstruating daughter.... wouldn't you know if
>she had NO period for awhile???
>
>I KNOW I would, Hello, I buy all the "necessities" notice the
>irritability,  Reese's peanut butter cup cravings, etc....  

Well.....I have daughters who have started menstruating and I don't always know when they cycle.  I keep a fairly large supply of "necessities" in the house as there is nothing worse than having to make an "emergancy" run for supplies at midnight and I don't keep track of what's being used or by whom.  They use a different bathroom than I do and they are responsible for cleaning it, so I don't see their trash.  They do their own laundry, so I don't see leakage "evidence" and they aren't moodier than usual or have bad cravings.  (The lucky devils!!).  The only way I know they are cycling is when they complain about crampiness or got caught by surprise at school or something and tell me about it.  I'm a very involved CP and we have open communication, but since menstruation is a natural process of which they are familiar and they don't have many as many issues with it as some do, we simply don't talk about it much.  Having said that, my daughters are slender and if one were to become pregnant, it couldn't be hidden for long.  If they were of a heavier build though, I would guess that a pregnancy could be hidden from me (yikes!).  

I have no idea what the situation is in your case, but I caution against automatically jumping to the conclusion that the BM was in collusion with the SD to keep the pregnancy a secret from her father for whatever reason.  She may truly not have known.

[Peanutsdad]

hehehe,,

I had that talk with her 2 years ago hun.

I think she spent most of it laughing at me.