Step Daughters last name

[MommyX4StepX1]

My Husband and his ex were never married. Because he never married the ex, she refused to add  or give their daughter his last name.
When my SD ( step daughter) was 5 years old , her last name was changed legally to reflect both of her parents last names.
Mom's last name ~ dad's last name.
In the court papers it states that both parties agreed that it is in the child best interest that her last name reflects both parents last names.

The first year was fine. When SD started the 1st grade, mom told the school that SD is to only go by her mom's last name, leaving dad's last name off. Even though all medical records and school records have the correct legal name hyphenation. Can mom do this?
I feel as if it's cofussing their daughter, or making her feel guilty if she uses her full last name.
Is this a form of PAS? trying to cutt off Dad again?

[Kitty C.]

The school is required by LAW to use the child's 'legal' name on all pertinent documentation.  What I would recommend is getting copies of report cards and any documentation in the child's school record, to see if they are complying.  If not, you need to inform them that they must use her legal name, and furnish any documentation you have to prove it.  If they refuse, tell them your atty. will be in touch with the superintendent and/or the school board.  I can about guarantee they will be changing their tune.

My niece wanted nothing to do with her BF, since he considered his CS a 'bill' and barely gave her the time of day.  When my brother married her mom, she badly wanted to use his last name.  Since it takes both parents consent for a name change, she couldn't legally do it.  But what the school DID do is allow her to use my brother's name 'informally'.  All her records, and eventually her diploma, reflected her legal name but she used my brother's name on her homework and such.  By maintaining her legal in all her school records, the district was not in violation.

[SadStepMom]

It sucks doesn't it.  DH's kids go completely by their step-father's last name which is not at all their name.  If BM has to put their real name on stuff, she always hyphenates it.  Which still isn't their legal name.

Also sucks that kids call DH by his first name.

Best of luck to you on this :)

[wendl]

My son does the same, he has never carried his fathers name, when I got married he wanted to start using my DH's last name, he does at school and everything else BUT all legal docs (school records etc) are in his legal name.

One school screwed up when he went from elementary to middle school, I had to provide the school a copy of his social security card showing his legal name and the school changed the record back to legal name how it should be.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**