PAS

[SallyandJack]

Mother has just begun campaign of alienation. Signs are clear.  DH has joint custody.

We are very concerned for his daughter.  My question is  - is it legal and ethical to bring her to a psychologist on our own without telling mother? or Should we suggest her to do it?  or should we suggest for them all to go together?

New Jersey jurisdiction.

We are documenting everything.

thank you

[mango]

I would think if you parenting plan says you can take her to doctors without consulting each other you should. But if you need to consult each other for medical decsions then you can't.

We deal with the programming too, and I would love to take my SD to a psychologist, but I know the mother would put a holt to it. So instead I went alone and got tips from the councelor on how to handle the situation and combat it. It's all I can do for now....

[socrateaser]

You need to post your custody order so I can read it.

[SallyandJack]

The parties shall have joint legal custody of the parties daughter, with the defendant having residential custody.  The parties shall make any and all significant decisions conerning, but not limited to, the child's health, education adn welfare with a view toward adopting and following those policies that are in the child's best interests.

The plaintiff shall have paranting time with the child on alternate weekends, in the presence of plaintiff's father, or if he is unavailable, then another person to adi the plaintiff, whom shall be agreed upon by both parties, at times to be agreed upon between the parties, but the child shall be returned no later than 9:00p.m.  The defendant shall not have any overnightparenting time with the child until the child turn seven years of age.  At that time, overnight parenting time shall commence as discussed and agreed upon between the parties considering the best interests of the child, in the presence of plaintiff's father, or if he is unabailable, then another person to aid the plaintiff, whom shall be agreed upon by the parties.

The plaintiff shall have parenting time with the child, on alternate holidays, the child's birthday, and the plaintiff's birthday at times to be agreed upon between the parties.

The plaintiff shall have two non-consecutive weeks of vacation parenting time with the child, after the child turns seven years of age, and after a reasonable transition period of ninety days once overnights have commenced, at times and dates to be agreed upon by the parties.

[socrateaser]

The text " The parties shall make any and all significant decisions conerning, but not limited to, the child's health, education adn welfare with a view toward adopting and following those policies that are in the child's best interests," is in my opinion, sufficiently vague such that it could be interpreted that the parties must agree on healthcare decisions prior to undertaking a course of action, or that either party may act independently and at his/her own expense, as long as the action is reasonably in the child's best interest.

Since it can be interpreted either way, you cannot be held in contempt unless you act in a manner that is not reasonably in the child's best interests. Therefore you may take the child to the doctor without informing the other parent of your actions, but you will be entirely responsible for the financial cost of your action.

As to whether you should inform the other parent of your choice beforehand, I can't tell you what to do. The risk of saying nothing and creating even more acrimony than already exists, is probably just as great as the risk of saying something and creating the same acrimony.

And you may end up in court asking the court to interpret and clarify the existing order. But, at least you can't be found in contempt, regardless of your decision.