Okay, I will try again :)

[dipper]

Soc,

DH and bm share joint legal with her having primary physical.  She and ss live two hours away.  They went to court in January and the order was tweaked to specify times.

Knowing ss was to be here by 6 - bm took him out with friends until 8:30, then brought him to dh.  She has ss 24 days out of the month, but used dh's time to do this.  

SS stayed an extra day with us one weekend - it was her weekend for transportation, but since it was in dh's favor, he drove ss to her job the next night - an extra 20 minutes away.

While there, she started in about how she had done him a favor, and now she wanted him to meet her halfway the next weekend so that she could get ss seven hours early.  When dh told her that the judge said he could have ss any additional time that ss wished............she became very loud, then told dh, loudly, that this was her place of employment and that they couldnt be fussing in there.  DH did allow ss to return early with his older brother.

She tried on several occassions to pick ss early - 5:30, knowing his time was until 7 -- we would leave home and she would be here sitting in our yard when we got back.

BM did in fact bring ss early two times - at 2pm, but she had to go to work and ss had been kicked out of school.

BM told dh that the meeting with an alternative school wasnt until a wednesday.  Two days later she went to the meeting - on a Friday, when dh is off.  DH didnt even know about it until that evening.

BM skipped out on ss' tutoring that Friday because tutor was late.

For spring break, bm said ss could not come on Wednesday because he had to have turoring - this was five days after she bailed on it, and would be the last before he began alternative school.  This would have kept dh from having his half of spring break as ordered by the court.  DH drove to her work area on Wednesday night just to pick up ss.  ***ss did not have tutoring because he disappeared and bm called the police - but he turned up on his own ****

BM was to provide transportation, but she went out of town and dh had to meet her brother halfway.

This past weekend, she brought ss 50 minutes early, but wanted him for a local family gathering.  DH agreed to let ss go to that, even willing to provide transportation.  OSS took ss, and dh picked ss up.  BM came out and began to fuss at dh - getting louder and louder in front of her family, raging that she has done him so many favors - even bringing ss early that Friday night; that she has tried so hard to get along, but all he does is fight her; and she wanted dh to go in and explain to her father why he was going to have to wait for ss since dh wouldnt just let her have him six hours early.  

In her opinion, allowing ss to spend an extra hour or day is doing dh a favor.  The judge not only told her that ss is to be allowed to do this, its in the court order that dh has specific times, but is not limited to those times.

DH agreed to meet her at an area 45 minutes early Sunday,  she called within 10 minutes of him being late, leaving a message wanting to know where he was.  She knew we were at a party...

Okay - now, given that some of it is contempt of the court order.  IF she cannot be made to admit she did these things -

What supporting evidence can dh possibly present?


Is there anything he can do to gather evidence in future?


Should dh write a letter stating these things to her, as well as citing that he does not want to be yelled at in public, in front of  SS (who has been present each time), and in front of her family anymore?  

[dipper]

Soc,

DH and bm share joint legal with her having primary physical.  She and ss live two hours away.  They went to court in January and the order was tweaked to specify times.

Knowing ss was to be here by 6 - bm took him out with friends until 8:30, then brought him to dh.  She has ss 24 days out of the month, but used dh's time to do this.  

SS stayed an extra day with us one weekend - it was her weekend for transportation, but since it was in dh's favor, he drove ss to her job the next night - an extra 20 minutes away.

While there, she started in about how she had done him a favor, and now she wanted him to meet her halfway the next weekend so that she could get ss seven hours early.  When dh told her that the judge said he could have ss any additional time that ss wished............she became very loud, then told dh, loudly, that this was her place of employment and that they couldnt be fussing in there.  DH did allow ss to return early with his older brother.

She tried on several occassions to pick ss early - 5:30, knowing his time was until 7 -- we would leave home and she would be here sitting in our yard when we got back.

BM did in fact bring ss early two times - at 2pm, but she had to go to work and ss had been kicked out of school.

BM told dh that the meeting with an alternative school wasnt until a wednesday.  Two days later she went to the meeting - on a Friday, when dh is off.  DH didnt even know about it until that evening.

BM skipped out on ss' tutoring that Friday because tutor was late.

For spring break, bm said ss could not come on Wednesday because he had to have turoring - this was five days after she bailed on it, and would be the last before he began alternative school.  This would have kept dh from having his half of spring break as ordered by the court.  DH drove to her work area on Wednesday night just to pick up ss.  ***ss did not have tutoring because he disappeared and bm called the police - but he turned up on his own ****

BM was to provide transportation, but she went out of town and dh had to meet her brother halfway.

This past weekend, she brought ss 50 minutes early, but wanted him for a local family gathering.  DH agreed to let ss go to that, even willing to provide transportation.  OSS took ss, and dh picked ss up.  BM came out and began to fuss at dh - getting louder and louder in front of her family, raging that she has done him so many favors - even bringing ss early that Friday night; that she has tried so hard to get along, but all he does is fight her; and she wanted dh to go in and explain to her father why he was going to have to wait for ss since dh wouldnt just let her have him six hours early.  

In her opinion, allowing ss to spend an extra hour or day is doing dh a favor.  The judge not only told her that ss is to be allowed to do this, its in the court order that dh has specific times, but is not limited to those times.

DH agreed to meet her at an area 45 minutes early Sunday,  she called within 10 minutes of him being late, leaving a message wanting to know where he was.  She knew we were at a party...

Okay - now, given that some of it is contempt of the court order.  IF she cannot be made to admit she did these things -

What supporting evidence can dh possibly present?


Is there anything he can do to gather evidence in future?


Should dh write a letter stating these things to her, as well as citing that he does not want to be yelled at in public, in front of  SS (who has been present each time), and in front of her family anymore?  

[socrateaser]

>What supporting evidence can dh possibly present?

Depends upon the circumstances and what you're trying to prove. But, based on your question, nothing has been recorded in the past, so there's no evidence, other than DH's word against BM's word -- which is basically useless in court.

>Is there anything he can do to gather evidence in future?

You can either notify the other parent that you will record every future oral communication (see my post to ccmidaho below for an example), or you can write a letter to the other parent every time that an incident occurs, and therein document what happened, and express "dismay" at the apparent inability of the two of you being able to work together for the child's best interests.

Do NOT threaten, or complain about ANYTHING. Always, show that you are sad for the child. You want a record of your complete selflessness and a record of the other parent's complete selfishness.

More than likely the other parent will never respond. However, in court, a failure to respond in the negative, is generally presumed to be a "tacit admission." And, that is what you want -- a pile of unanswered letters expressing your dismay over all sorts of failures to communicate. It makes the other parent look like a complete ass.