TRO Hearing

[Sunshine1]

Hi Soc:

Background info:

BM/NCP came to pick up for second half of summer vacation.  We had purchased a cell phone for the children to take along so we could speak to them as well as they would have access to call 911 in case of an emergency.  BM in habit of leaving kids alone and she has no phone.  Kids instructed to call for help if left alone.

BM sent child back to the door with the phone and would not allow it, even though she wrote an email thanking us for getting them one for her to also communicate with them.

I told her she could wait for DH and she could discuss it with him and I went to shut the door.  She shoved open the door and pushed me down a flight of stairs.  She went totally crazy and long story short we now have a TRO on her and are due in court next week for it.

In late June we were provided (voluntarily) a psych eval she had done on herself and is trying to collect SSI due to the results and get out of child support.  We have NEVER had an incident like the one I just described with her EVER. As far as we knew she was just evil but has some serious diagnosis.

I have been out of work since the accident and I have multipy injuries due to the fall, to my knowledge she has very minor to no injuries because I fought back.

We are both being charged for assault even though she broke into my home and induced bodily harm.

My questions are:

1.  At the TRO hearing what should I ask for to keep it from being dismissed?  We already know she has a mental health history, anything we can ask for to get concrete evidence that she is not fit to have children around her?

Any further help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!

Thank you

[socrateaser]

>My questions are:
>
>1.  At the TRO hearing what should I ask for to keep it from
>being dismissed?  We already know she has a mental health
>history, anything we can ask for to get concrete evidence that
>she is not fit to have children around her?

You should tell the truth. If you're afraid of the other person injuring you again, then you should say so. That should be sufficient to maintain the TRO.

Your post here seems to indicate that you closed the door in the other parent's face, and that she pushed it back open and then shoved you down a flight of stairs. You go on to say that you were injured badly in the fall so that you can not maintain gainful employment.

However, you also end your post with the statement that you "fought back" and that you were charged with assault.

Depending on the order of the above events, a reasonable trier of facts may conclude that you are not being entirely forthcoming with the facts as they occured, as if you were so badly injured in the fall as to not be able to work, then how was it possible that you were able to "fight back?"

Adrenalin?

Anyway, perhaps I'm just misunderstanding, but I think you can see how that could be possible. You need to tell the truth to the court, whatever that truth may be. I don't think you'll have any trouble maintaining the TRO, based on your facts, either way.

[Sunshine1]

You are exactly right, after the fall I got right back up and ran up the stairs to get her out of my house.  she madeher way into my kitchen and headed toward my child.  I grabbed her and got her outside and threw her to the ground.  I stood there for a minute because I thought I really hurt her and she got up and punched me in the face with a set of keys and then ran into my home and tried to lock me out.

I got back inside and tried to call 911 several times of which she kept disconnecting, I finally got her back outside (she didn't go easily).  I received a text message from her by accident telling of her injuries she meant to send to a friend who has a similar name as I do.

After police arrived and after I calmed down the pain began to set in and a week went by before I knew I had such serious injuires.  The reason I am being charged is they couldn't tell who was telling the truth and I admitted to hitting her back to defend myself and I was charged along with her. They said we could tell it to the court.

Urgent care cleared me the day of and after a half day of work I couldn't take it, I went back in and to my regular physican and he found bruised kidneys, sciatic nerve damage, broken foot, and a pinched nerve in my elbow, not to mention all the bruises and scratches I still have. I am on crutches and in a walking cast.

I remember a long time ago you suggesting to someone some kind of forensic test before the judge ruled on the TRO?  

I have no doubt that my evidence will show she is guilty, but she is quite evil and can convince just about anyone into believing her sad story.  Her version is she pushed the door in and I fell back 2 steps.  My doctor highly disagrees.

I am just afraid that the children will have to go back there. I have a pretty good lawyer, just wondering if you had any suggestions so I don't forget anything.

[Sunshine1]

Hi Soc:

Background info:

BM/NCP came to pick up for second half of summer vacation.  We had purchased a cell phone for the children to take along so we could speak to them as well as they would have access to call 911 in case of an emergency.  BM in habit of leaving kids alone and she has no phone.  Kids instructed to call for help if left alone.

BM sent child back to the door with the phone and would not allow it, even though she wrote an email thanking us for getting them one for her to also communicate with them.

I told her she could wait for DH and she could discuss it with him and I went to shut the door.  She shoved open the door and pushed me down a flight of stairs.  She went totally crazy and long story short we now have a TRO on her and are due in court next week for it.

In late June we were provided (voluntarily) a psych eval she had done on herself and is trying to collect SSI due to the results and get out of child support.  We have NEVER had an incident like the one I just described with her EVER. As far as we knew she was just evil but has some serious diagnosis.

I have been out of work since the accident and I have multipy injuries due to the fall, to my knowledge she has very minor to no injuries because I fought back.

We are both being charged for assault even though she broke into my home and induced bodily harm.

My questions are:

1.  At the TRO hearing what should I ask for to keep it from being dismissed?  We already know she has a mental health history, anything we can ask for to get concrete evidence that she is not fit to have children around her?

Any further help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!

Thank you

[socrateaser]

>My questions are:
>
>1.  At the TRO hearing what should I ask for to keep it from
>being dismissed?  We already know she has a mental health
>history, anything we can ask for to get concrete evidence that
>she is not fit to have children around her?

You should tell the truth. If you're afraid of the other person injuring you again, then you should say so. That should be sufficient to maintain the TRO.

Your post here seems to indicate that you closed the door in the other parent's face, and that she pushed it back open and then shoved you down a flight of stairs. You go on to say that you were injured badly in the fall so that you can not maintain gainful employment.

However, you also end your post with the statement that you "fought back" and that you were charged with assault.

Depending on the order of the above events, a reasonable trier of facts may conclude that you are not being entirely forthcoming with the facts as they occured, as if you were so badly injured in the fall as to not be able to work, then how was it possible that you were able to "fight back?"

Adrenalin?

Anyway, perhaps I'm just misunderstanding, but I think you can see how that could be possible. You need to tell the truth to the court, whatever that truth may be. I don't think you'll have any trouble maintaining the TRO, based on your facts, either way.

[Sunshine1]

You are exactly right, after the fall I got right back up and ran up the stairs to get her out of my house.  she madeher way into my kitchen and headed toward my child.  I grabbed her and got her outside and threw her to the ground.  I stood there for a minute because I thought I really hurt her and she got up and punched me in the face with a set of keys and then ran into my home and tried to lock me out.

I got back inside and tried to call 911 several times of which she kept disconnecting, I finally got her back outside (she didn't go easily).  I received a text message from her by accident telling of her injuries she meant to send to a friend who has a similar name as I do.

After police arrived and after I calmed down the pain began to set in and a week went by before I knew I had such serious injuires.  The reason I am being charged is they couldn't tell who was telling the truth and I admitted to hitting her back to defend myself and I was charged along with her. They said we could tell it to the court.

Urgent care cleared me the day of and after a half day of work I couldn't take it, I went back in and to my regular physican and he found bruised kidneys, sciatic nerve damage, broken foot, and a pinched nerve in my elbow, not to mention all the bruises and scratches I still have. I am on crutches and in a walking cast.

I remember a long time ago you suggesting to someone some kind of forensic test before the judge ruled on the TRO?  

I have no doubt that my evidence will show she is guilty, but she is quite evil and can convince just about anyone into believing her sad story.  Her version is she pushed the door in and I fell back 2 steps.  My doctor highly disagrees.

I am just afraid that the children will have to go back there. I have a pretty good lawyer, just wondering if you had any suggestions so I don't forget anything.

[socrateaser]

The only reason for submitting to a polygraph is if you want to demonstrate that they other person's story is materially false, so as to defeat their request for a TRO. It won't really help you maintain your TRO. The judge will keep both of you miles from each other, going forward.

My only suggestion is that you agree to stipulate to a mutual no contact order, without anyone admitting or denying any of the other party's allegations. That way, you're both basically saying, "No proof on either side, but we don't want to be anywhere near each other anyway."

On the other hand, if your goal is to obtain evidence that you can use in a criminal trial to defend youself and convict the other party, then maybe you would offer to submit to a polygraph on grounds that the other party do similarly. Then if they agreed (stupid IMO, in view of the pending criminal actions, but possible), you could gain evidence that would cause the DA to drop the charges.

Talk to your attorney about the various risks/benefits.