Supervised Visitation

[roam_or]

Dear Soc,

My husband and I have custody of his 13 year old son. We reside in Oregon since 4/05, mother lives in Washington and custody was determined in Washington.

Two days ago while son was on his summer visitation with his mother, he was arrested and put into Juvenile Detention. He was charged with 20 counts of 2nd degree prowling and 20 counts of 3rd degree burglary.
My husband and I immediately went to get  him. My husband talked to the arresting officers and the juvenile courts and got them to show it as a deviation on his record. Bascially as long as he doesn't get into any kind of trouble before he is 18, it will be removed from his record (since this was his first offense).

While my SS has been in our custody he has NEVER gotten in trouble, however, his mother litterally gives him NO supervision. There have been many small occurances but him being arrested was the last straw.

When we got him back last night, he told us that this was not the first time he has done this same thing while at his moms. He told  us he has tried alcohol (no drugs) while in her care as well. He also told us about the parties she has been taking him to this summer where the people are drinking and smoking pot. When stepson was arrested 2 nights ago, his mother was no where to be found. She had taken off to the bar after he had gone to sleep and just left him a note. He was arrested with no adult present.

My husband and I are angry, frustrated and scared. While in her care our son is going downhill fast and it is because she doesn't care enough about him to give him boundaries.

So my questions are:

1. With what we have learned this weekend, is this grounds for us to requst supervised visitation or to limit visitation for the time being?

2. Should we request a temporary restraining order until we are able to get this settled, or how should we proceed.

3. Would this be considered an Oregon case since we have been here since 4/05 or would we have to wait until he has been here 6 months? We would like to get the case changed to Oregon since we will be residing here until SS graduates high school at least.

[socrateaser]

>So my questions are:
>
>1. With what we have learned this weekend, is this grounds for
>us to requst supervised visitation or to limit visitation for
>the time being?

Yes, I think it's a reasonable request, especially if the child admits that he can get away with this behavior while with his mother, and not while he's with you.

>
>2. Should we request a temporary restraining order until we
>are able to get this settled, or how should we proceed.

I think that's a reasonable action, too.

>
>3. Would this be considered an Oregon case since we have been
>here since 4/05 or would we have to wait until he has been
>here 6 months? We would like to get the case changed to Oregon
>since we will be residing here until SS graduates high school
>at least.

To get an emergency order from an Oregon court you will need to show that the child will suffer substantial harm if the order isn't granted immediately. You can probably show this, but the judge will almost certainly call the WA judge and he will probably refuse to exercise jurisdiction, because the WA judge would be equally likely to grant the same temporary order.

Now, if your current court orders grant you primary custody, and you know that the child will be attending school in Oregon, so that it's a practical certainty that he will live in Oregon for six months, then that could cause a local judge to grant the TRO, knowing that Oregon will get the case in a few months anyway. But, it's probably not worth expending money to test this theory, when you can file for the same order in WA and pretty much be guaranteed of getting it on the first pass.

So, I suggest that you just continue to proceed in WA, for the time being.