Help for brother...

[dipper]

Soc,

First of all, allow me to say that I do not agree with the actions of my brother.  But, I do love him and I know that if things arent handled right at this point, he could have a very long hard struggle ahead of him as far as seeing his daughter.

My sister-in-law is a good person.  They have been married for 18 years and I love her deeply.  However, we dont know what goes on in someone else's home.  The other day she confronted my brother with the knowledge that he is having an affair.  She told him that someone has been following him and they have pictures - which from what I understand she has not paid for yet so she doesnt have them.  My brother swears to us that he has been talking 'too much' to this particular person but nothing sexual has occurred.  Frankly, I am doubtful.

Sister-in-law had stated a willingness to work it out, but has since told him to get out.  He has not left home as of yet.  They have a five year old child together.

My brother does have a shop beside his home that he is considering moving into - it is heated and well lit.    

My brother feels she will legally have him removed from the home.  

According to my brother, his wife does not share a bed with him - hasnt in years.  He really already has his own room in their home.  I knew of this as it was explained that since he has a part-time job he needed sleep and the child would get in bed with them.......

Soc, What actions should my brother take to ensure that he has as much right to his daughter as the mother?


If he is forced to leave, can he take pictures (family photos) etc at that time?



If she has pictures which show nothing more than him in the other woman's presence, how far will that go in court if there is no proof of a sexual relationship?



Would my brother be able to use any type of emotional alienation as a defense?

[socrateaser]

>Soc, What actions should my brother take to ensure that he has
>as much right to his daughter as the mother?

Rule #1 in family law. Whoever has de facto custody of the kids when he/she requests relief wins, unless the de facto custodian is "Hannibal Lecter." Period.

Do not leave the family home. Period.

Get a small dictation recorder, and whenever you are in proximity of the other parent, or the other parent starts to talk -- take out the recorder and turn it on. Also, have the other spouse served with a document as part of the divorce paperwork stating that you intend to record all communications between yourself and the other spouse, so as to eliminate the possibility of any subseqent allegations of abuse or domestic violence.

Start devoting every spare moment to the child. Take the child to school, pick the child up. Cook the child's meals, etc. If you have to take time off from work, even if you lose or must quit your job -- do it. Your objective is to demonstrate that you are the person most interested in the child's welfare.

>If he is forced to leave, can he take pictures (family photos)
>etc at that time?

I suggest that you file for divorce, NOW (Monday morning), and inform the court that you have not shared a bedroom in years and that there is no reason for the court to order either parent to leave the family home.

>If she has pictures which show nothing more than him in the
>other woman's presence, how far will that go in court if there
>is no proof of a sexual relationship?

Not far. I don't know if the state where the parties reside (VA?) is a fault divorce jurisdiction. But, if it is, then just talking is not proof of adultery. However, if the other spouse alleges adultery, then you'll either have to deny it, which I can't advise you to do if the denial is false, or admit it, in which case, that's grounds for divorce, and for spousal support.

>Would my brother be able to use any type of emotional alienation as a defense?

The question is too vague, and assumes facts not in evidence. I don't know as to what kind of "emotional alienation" you refer, so I can't comment.

PS. A lawyer must not personally, or help others, engage in the unauthorized practice of law. I cannot give you legal advise to dispense to your brother, because that aids you in practicing law on his behalf, unless you merely intend to diseminate the contents of this post verbatum.

In the future, your brother should post here himself if he has questions. Otherwise, I can't respond further.

[dipper]

In the future, your brother should post here himself if he has questions. Otherwise, I can't respond further.

Soc, thank you for sharing your knowledge.  My brother has no experience with any of this...and from what I have been told, his wife has a lawyer already.  I am going to simply print the contents of this off and pass on to him.

I am also going to recommend that he at least visit with a lawyer - I think a good one would be the one that my dh's ex had last year...he was very good.  :)