Summer Visitaiton - custody reversal

[dipper]

Soc,

I take primary custody on June 15th.  Visitation is flipped, but is exactly as it was for me...it reads now " Mother shall have liberal and reasonable visitation to include, but not be limited to the following schedule:
1.  three weekends per month.
6. A total of six weeks during the summer, with two weeks during each of the months of June, July, and August.

BM has grudgingly given me the six weeks in the past - no third weekends.  The six weeks have not been as ordered, she makes plans and gave me time when she saw fit..even stating that if time permitted I could have my sixth week, etc.. She has always dictated every minute that I had, never agreeing to any proposal of mine and never considering our plans.  She has taken time from me on numerous occassions.

She had July 4th last year - but in writing stated that she gave it to me because that has been our agreement since July 2001 because I have vacation that week.  Order was flipped, so she has July 4th again this year -and now that I assumed I could have him, she says I am taking her time.  That is no biggie as she can have the day, but it just shows the way she operates.  

I have always tried to get a schedule ahead of time and she has refused saying - that circumstances may alter MY schedule.

School begins Aug. 14th this year, and my son needs to meet his teachers, tour the school, and get supplies.  So, for the month of August I suggested July 29 - August 8th, plus a weekend of her choosing to make the two weeks.  It is not my intent to short her, but the order does not state uninterrupted time and he NEEDS to have time to get ready for school.  As this is my first year with custody, I want what she has had for years...to take him to school.

She also is demanding to pick up son from Burn camp in June, saying it is her third weekend. The judge ordered that the two weeks in school are her visitation for this month.  I will be instructing the camp to not allow her to take my son.

She insisted that I take ss this weekend, though I told her that was not the judge's instructions.  She is dating a man whose wife is in jail now.  

She sent me a letter basically saying that she WILL get two weeks in July and August and three weekends..and she WILL pick him up from burn camp and keep him overnight.

So, while she no longer will have primary custody, she is still telling me exactly when I will have my son and when she will.   I simply will not bow down to her games anymore.

Now, in February, she took a weekend of mine, made plans for ss to go to camp and drove and picked him up...Refused make-up time for me.

Soc, what is your interpretation of the court order as to summer weeks and three weekends?


IF she filed for contempt, could I stand on the fact that for two years she has interpreted the order as I get six weeks and no more?


Could I counterfile on contempts for actions that took place prior to my assuming custody of son?


Should I simply reply that visitation will stand as I suggested, with the exception that she will have July 4th or quote her own words back to her from her letters regarding summer visitaiton and July 4th?


Soc, her letter is half a page - telling me how its going to be....I come up with two pages reasoning how she is wrong....should I try to reason or simply say - it is as stands and I will have an order and a deputy if you refuse to turn over son at the end of visitation?

[socrateaser]

>Soc, what is your interpretation of the court order as to
>summer weeks and three weekends?

It says what it says: two weeks per month in summer; three weekends per month. Ambiguous as to whether the summer months include one extra weekend.

>
>
>IF she filed for contempt, could I stand on the fact that for
>two years she has interpreted the order as I get six weeks and
>no more?

It's an interesting argument. The better approach in my opinion is to let your son work out the time he wants to spend with his mom, and if he refuses to go, then you shrug your shoulders and say, "Hey, I can't force him to spend time with you, but I won't stand in his way, either."

Then, it's not your problem. It's up to your ex to maintain a decent relationship if she wants more time.

>
>
>Could I counterfile on contempts for actions that took place
>prior to my assuming custody of son?

If you have proof of contempt, then you can file, but I wouldn't start that, because the judge will be furious and you'll just lose.

>
>
>Should I simply reply that visitation will stand as I
>suggested, with the exception that she will have July 4th or
>quote her own words back to her from her letters regarding
>summer visitaiton and July 4th?

See above for my suggestion.

>Soc, her letter is half a page - telling me how its going to
>be....I come up with two pages reasoning how she is
>wrong....should I try to reason or simply say - it is as
>stands and I will have an order and a deputy if you refuse to
>turn over son at the end of visitation?

You need to lower the burner on the stove. Tell her that you want things to go smoothly, that your interpretation of the order is ____, and if she disagrees, then you suggest that she file a motion for a clarification order so all arguments can be avoided going forward. As far as the additional liberal visitation goes, you will give your son the choice of where he wants to spend his time, but you will not force him to be with his mother if he doesn't want to, and if she doesn't like that, then she should file for a clarification order on that issue, as well.