Custody Mess in PA

[maggiejames]

Hello Soc,

I found this site a few days ago and after reading alot of post in this forum in I decided to try myself. You recieve alot of trust and respect from a number of people. I'm taking that as a good omen for a starting over point for myself. :)

I recently went to court for a custody hearing for the second time this year for custody of my 10 year son.  The first time was in Feb. The end result was joint physical custody with myself as primary physical custodian and my son's father has liberal visitation. 3 weekend a month during the school year with one week after school lets out at summer until 2 weeks before the beginning of the next school year with me having 3 weekends a month during this summer break and sharing in all major decisions.
 
the custody agreement was mostly working out the way it was set out in the judges' orders. With a few give and takes.  I should add that my son's father lives in MD. He moved there last summer from PA

Also during the course of this year there were some major changes in my life. I did end an 8 year relationship with a man that i had 2 more children with. Needless to say i had to pick up the pieces of my life and more on after some diastrious repercussions of this break up.

Also during this time i met my current fiancee, we moved in together and i did have to switch my sons to a different elementary school. But this school is in the same school district with the same curicullum and same academic programs for helping children with help in the their studies.  

My son's father did have a problem with the school switch. But I did find out that we could keep him in the same elementary. We would just have to provide transportation. I told my x still but he said that was too much to ask of anyone. Let's try the new school.

Then out of the blue in Sept i recieved notice of  the x requesting special relief wanting to modify the custody due to compelling reasons/chances in circumstances. (My circumstances that is).

We had the special master's hearing last month. The special master recommended that the custody be reversed. I appealed it. So we went to court last thurs.

The end result was that the judge decided to reverse the custody because of the changes in my life this last year. He said I was unstable.

My lawyer kept trying to bring up the fact that there are two other children in the household and even though they are only half siblings. They have also been raised together.  The judge said that he wasn't giving them much consideration in the situation.  

When it was also brought up that my younger two's father also moved a distant away (an hour and half drive) . He takes the his kids 3 weekends a month. The judge didn't seem concerned that the kids would be lucky to see each other one weekend a month during the school year. He said that we will just half to see what Mr XXXX does about this.

Though I understand that sometimes when people have changes in their lives it might be best to move children. My problem is I did have changes in my life this year but nothing that was detrimental to my kids. My life actually inproved over this year.

My kids became happier. My sons came out of their shells more and became involved in outside activities. Boy scouts and martial arts. Which before i was not able to do for them.

I know i'm hurt and crashed by this change. I have raised my son for 10 years and i'm lost without him. But his brother is devastated by this change. I don't agree with the judges ruling.

I know i should have some kind of recourse in this situation. My lawyer is doing some research and will be calling me this week. But i can't sit still and do nothing. So have been doing research for myself. No idle hands in this household...lol

but much of what i have read especially in changing custody or separating half siblings doesn't seem pertinent in my case. Most of them seem to be extreme changes and changes that are detrimental to the children involved.

So I am in a limbo and would greatly appreciate any comments, advise or anything that will help me help myself.

!. Where to start?

2. Do i just take him back to court or appeal to a higher court?


I"m so lost at this point i don't even know the proper questions to ask

thank you

PA Mom

[socrateaser]

>!. Where to start?
>
>2. Do i just take him back to court or appeal to a higher
>court?

Different states have different appeals processes. I can't say how PA operates. More than likely you will need to appeal the decision. However, appeals are very expensive, and it may be cheaper to simply allow the other parent to have custody, and screw things up, after which you can go back and try to reverse things again.

I don't know what you did for your case, but if you didn't have a child psycologist thoroughly investigate the childrens' interactions and issue a report about how they needed to be together, then that was probably a big mistake.

In the end, a judge will not be overturned on a custody decision absent a manifest abuse of judicial discretion. The fact that the judge wasn't particularly concerned with the other children could rise to this level if existing case law shows that appellate courts have found this to be a very important consideration.

Unless there is something so obviously unreasonable about the judge's decision such that no other jurist would make a similar recommendation on the facts, you will be wasting your time with an appeal.

I can't evaluate your chances without reviewing your entire case file. But, that is the legal standard, so that's what you must consider before you start an appeal.

[maggiejames]

thank you. right now i have a strong desire to send you the entire case file.

I do feel that some things could have been better handled. and i did ask about evaluations on the kids. but it didn't go anywhere.

i appreciate the comment cheaper to let go than to appeal. Unfortunately i'm the one who sees the pain this is causing my children and i can't in good concience just take the easy road because it is cheaper.

My children come first and what is best for them is my priority.

I have been reading on some cases and it does seem that keeping children together is a major factor but i have only read a few case files at this point.

trying to find these cases doesn't seem to as easy on the internet as i would have hoped. most seem to deal with full siblings as opposed to half sibling.

I guess i could take this much better if the changes in my life had been harmful to my kids. but they weren't in fact my children had been much happier now than they were previously.

Life isn't always easy but you have to live it anyway.

once again thank you for responding. I appreciate any insight i can get...:)

1. can you give me some places to start on reading case file from the court of appeals or on a federal level so i can do more investigating. I have to keep busy on this or go crazy.

2. any other insight or advice is always greatly appreciated.


have a great night.
PA Mom

[socrateaser]

>1. can you give me some places to start on reading case file
>from the court of appeals or on a federal level so i can do
>more investigating. I have to keep busy on this or go crazy.

Federal law is useless for child custody cases. The only cases that exist are related to strong constitutional issues, such as custody children of mixed marriages, father's and grandparent rights.

You must concentrate on the appellate law of your state. The cheapest database available is //www.versuslaw.com ($13.95 for one month access, and one month is probably all you would need).


>2. any other insight or advice is always greatly appreciated.

In the law, although it may be appealing to belive otherwise, David does not always slay Goliath.

[maggiejames]

true david doesn't always slay goliath. But without hope there is nothing to risk it all for.

I realize that i am embarking on an uphill battle. But i can't give up hope that one day I will have my children back together soon. and happy.

In the first post you mentioned evaluations of the children together and others. I'm thinking out loud and typing at the same time so please bear with me here.  :)

 My kids are a mess right now with all of this especially my 7 year old.  He is completely lost without his brother. He is so mad and hurt that he is even locking myself in the bathroom and refused to come out for any one but his brother.

1 Is it pausible that i could do evals now and have some of that in the appeal process. Especially since the judge did not seem to take them all into consideration.

Thank you Soc, and have a great night

PA Mom

[socrateaser]

>1 Is it pausible that i could do evals now and have some of
>that in the appeal process. Especially since the judge did not
>seem to take them all into consideration.

The answer depends on whether PA has a multilevel trial court system, like VA. If so, then it's possible for you to obtain a new trial on new facts. However, this sort of system is the exception, not the rule. If PA is a conventional jurisdiction, then once a trial court has ruled, no appellate court may consder facts not on the record at trial, and that means that you cannot submit a new evaluation.

That is, unless you were to simply file an entirely new custody motion, on grounds that there has been another substantiall change in circumstances as a consequence of the children being separated. If you go in with a new eval suggesting that the court's decision is having an irreparably bad affect on the children, then maybe that would get the entire situation reconsidered.

But, I wouldn't be encouraged, and it means that the meter will start ticking again, i.e., you'll be paying your attorney to start against from square one.

[maggiejames]

Hmmm. Alot of things to think about. alot of information to digest and try and keep straight. I'm beginning to feel like a toddler learning to walk with all the legal complexities. :)

Okay so my questions would. And i probable wouldn't be asking so many if i was a 5 year old. They would get it the first time.  :)

1. what is the difference between a multilevel court system and a conventional jurisdiction?

2. What would be better a child pyschiatrist report on my son or a complete eval. ( my 7 year old is curently in counceling)?

3. Didn't know anything about evals until i started reading information in is site. None were done in either court case. So i assume this was a major mistake on my part?

I"m sure i have more questions they are just not registering from my brain to my fingers at the moment.

[socrateaser]

>1. what is the difference between a multilevel court system
>and a conventional jurisdiction?

Most court systems have only one "trial" court system for the state that handles family law/domestic relations. Examples: (CA, OR, NV, AZ, NY, FL). VA, however has two trial court systems, both of which will try a domestic relations case, and one being superior, a litigant can get two bites at an apple, rather than only one.

In the typical jurisdiction, you get one opportunity to try your case, and then if you don't like it you appeal. But, no new facts are allowed on appeal. Only the trial court record is permitted.

>
>2. What would be better a child pyschiatrist report on my son
>or a complete eval. ( my 7 year old is curently in
>counceling)?

You need a competent professional to find that the child is in distress. How you accomplish this is not particularly relevant (unless you're planning on offering a bribe to the shrink -- lol).

>
>3. Didn't know anything about evals until i started reading
>information in is site. None were done in either court case.
>So i assume this was a major mistake on my part?

Pretty much -- yep.