father's right and custody battle questions....(long)

[emitone]

im going to try to keep this as short as possible
and include as many details as possible

here goes.....

i have a 16 week old daughter who was born 5 weeks early
the mother and i are not married
i have 2 copies of the signed acknowledgement of paternity

here is where things get messy
early on in the relationship (before mother was pregnant)
she introduced some drugs into my life (after she was laid off about 3 months into our relationship)
things i had never thought i would ever do
or in the manner that i did
needless to say
after a couple of months dabbling in that
i woke up
got clean
soon after mother was pregnant
she has admitted in her medical records (and my daughter's of drug use in the first trimester of her pregnancy)
no drug use that i am aware of during the remainder of the pregnancy
our relationship soon went sour after our daughter was born (but it had probably been coming a long time)
and she asked me to leave to evaluate where we stood
there was no infidelity
just huge amounts of trust issues

after the pregnancy
mother started going out without me
to watch our daughter and her 5 year old
most of the incidents ended with phone calls early in the morning "oops i fell asleep"
she admitted some of her drug use during her nights out drinking

oct 1st
the father of her 5 year old decided to find a way to use drugs in a court ordered drug treatment/correctional facility
he was asked to do a UA
and walked out instead
he now has a state felony warranted issued for him
and the house the mother lives in (which also has my name on the lease despite living with my mother for the past month) was raided looking for her ex last monday
i then found out that 2 days later, she let him stay the night at the house

there have been times that i have gone to the house to pick up my daughter for the night or weekend or week as of lately
and there are people there that have been drug dealers in the past
one night i was at the house packing up some of the last of my stuff
and i went into the bathroom and in the medicine cabinet was a spoon, dried cotton,  and residue
grabbed a camera from car and documented the location
found where the needles had been hidden
took photos of that as well
two days after this occured
i was at house getting more items of mine
and took the trash out for her
opened the lid of the trash
and there were two used needles
with blood still inside them
this has also been photo documented

cps has been notified
and have asked us to take drug test
i complied
the mother has still not taken hers as of today

saturday morning she called me at 630am
she had just gotten home
crying
stating she had a problem
couldnt feel
shot up again using her grandmother's money
asked me to come over and talk with her family with her to help her get help
the whole drive to her house we talked on the phone
and she confirmed drug use the past 3 weeks
told her that daughter couldnt stay at house until she was clean and sober and staying clean
and agreed
arrived and called family
took them 3 hours to arrive even after explaining what had happened
and they did nothing
they gave her cash
asked me to go buy something to help clean out her system so she could take test and get cps off her back
i went to get her something
then decided against it and returned the money saying it was too expensive, didnt give me enough money

now
she is wanting our daughter to stay at her house
cps advised that i legally cannot say no
but i am worried that since cps is aware of situation it could count against me
my aunt has wired money to my attorney to get the ball rolling

i have two months worth of written documentation that i do daily
including any plans mother makes and then flakes out on or changes
the fact that i am the only one that has driven anywhere so she can spend time with her daughter
over 30 miles one way
sometimes 2 or 3 times a day

she is trying to file child support
daughter has been on my insurance since her birth
mother has been unemployed twice now in two years
the first for 21 weeks in the beginning
and for 13 weeks just recently
admitted drug use to myself and her family
a 5 year that was just issued a truancy notice already for this year (once she asked me to leave, i felt i was not responsible to her 5 year old and i was no longer taking her to school- im not her father, her father is a wanted felon-3rd one as a matter of fact)
missed dr. appointments that were not rescheduled for our daughter's synagis shots (RSV)

am i about to be in the fight of my life to obtain legal custody of my daughter with very limited and supervised visitations?

[msme]

You are off to a good start with the photo documentation of the drug paraphanalia. I hope you are keeping a journal of everything that goes on, also all the care you are providing to your daughter. Also everything you do together.

What does your lawyer say? What kind of a lawyer is he/she? You really need a Board Certified, Family Law & Custody Specialist. Remember, you are HIRING this person. They work for you. Let them know up front that your child's safety & well being is the first priority.

You need to file for custody immediately & ask for a temporary order to keep the child with you until it is all resolved. The longer she stays with you, the better the odds are for custody.

You need to educate yourself. There is a wealth of knowledge on this site & you need to do a lot of research.I'm sure someone will post the links for getting started & other important stuff. There is a ton of it.

Keep up the good work & never give up. Your daughter needs you.
Good luck & God bless

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[gipsy]

Information I have heard !! And You need to ask A good atty. And Interview 4 or 5 before you hire any atty, Read atty selection on this site , get an atty that tells you things  In a regular fashion like talking to a friend , Ok So Now ask these questions , Should I remove My child from a bad situation like this ?   What to do for now when there is no custody decree ?And bring the pictures , . I have heard that when there is no custody decree then you are not violating a court order by taking the child ,,, And if what you say is true then , Talk to  atty.s , One of the questions My atty asked me once when I discussed the issue about the lack of a custody decree , was What if I take the child ,, He said  " Do you believe the child is in danger ? I never pursued the conversation , But I always wondered what He meant,And what the possibilties were ,and yes you are in for a big emotional ride > But the next question for your atty is >> What is the basic process ,, I have been through the process , And here it is so simple it's stupid and likely the same where you are , In wash state , The court uses Guardian Ad Litems , And this person is SUPPOSED  to be a neutral party that reports to the court About the child's best interest , You have to go to the court and file     MOTION TO APPOINT GUARDIAN AD LITEM ON BEHALF OF MINOR CHILD  and have her served , and a file at the , and probably a temp custody agreement , With a parenting plan , this isn't so hard to do , But you need some help doing it , then the simplisity . Is to be a good person and jump the hoops that the court and the GAL set up , And Don't do any thing out of anger , The trick is to be the parent that has the best interest of the child at heart , Its not about defaming the mother , except the facts , She is on drugs , And remmember there is a lot of BS that people do , so the use of a good atty is helpful , You don;t need a great dream team , This is a basic process , And you need some direction , Its really on you ,and you being a good parent , Not about some legal magic , The court uses GAL's because the atty represents the paying client , And the child is secondary , the GAL is there for the child , I would see if you could bring the report that shows she did not do her drug test to the atty's when you interview , But like I said interview several, You don't need to pay a lot of money for a dip shit atty , Its hard to explain to some one just starting out , But just remmember . States are some what different , But the atty should be able to explain a basic process and not give you a bunch of conditions and variables , about the basic process , Wich Is distiguished as different from what happens in the process , what happens in the process differs , But still yet you follow a similar process . the one thing for sure here in Wash state [ pierce county superior  court is this . The court won't do much untill the judge or commissioner see's the report by the Guardian ad Litem , Or CPS that confirms what you say she is doing !! And If she is all screwed up then getting her to show in front of a judge or commissioner will iether straighten her out or it will show through the process , All the while [You] Behave and keep posting , the worst part of My case was My reaction to the Bullshit , But the end result was liveable , I did not get custody , But I went through the whole process, And i Don't have any similarities to your case except , a child and a mom thats a dip shit

[emitone]

ive been keeping a daily journal since october 1st
when the first incident occured

including every plan she and i have made
every change in plans
any and all flaking on plans
everything
including phone conversations
must of our daily communication is by email
and i have opened an account that i use for "storage" of these emails between us

i interviewed with a couple different lawyers
the woman i chose is board certified in family law and custody
also has alot of experience dealing with cases involving CPS
its probably going to cost a fortune
but whatever
its about my daughter

i am paying full cost of daycare ($600/month)
our daughter has been on my insurance since her birth
i pay for all diapers, wipes, formula, medicine, toys and teething stuff
for my house, mother's house, and daycare
and have all the receipts for these purchases

today
i called mother at 730
told her i couldnt get to her house in time to help get our daughter ready for daycare while mother took her 5 year old to school
she called back at 800 to see where i was at
told her about 15 minutes away
mother said she would take our daughter to daycare
got to daycare at 815 to give mother clothes i had washed and new bottles i bought to replace ones i used to give daycare
mother wasnt there yet
called mother
asked me to get her
told her i could
then told me i was difficult and would meet me there
mother arrived and our daughter was belted in carseat
without the base
what is she thinking?

[emitone]

it actually drives the mother nuts
that i wont respond negatively to her trying to get me angry
i remain as calm as humanly possible
not raise my voice
or yell
or call her names
like she does with me
including telling our daughter at 12 weeks of age that she was sorry she had her with an asshole

all very well documented

[emitone]

i just discovered that my ex has an attorney now that she has been served her papers

and

it looks like she has a court appointed family advocate
which is not paid by her
and isnt going to represent my ex
but represent our daughter's best interest, right?

which i feel could favor my cause
since they are unaware yet
of the actual physical evidence i have available to present

and im pretty sure she hasnt disclosed her drug use to her attorney
despite her family being made aware of it