CS after custody switch...venting venting venting....

[hatewelfare]

Or should I saw lack of child support...I know this is a touchy subject with some, but dang it...I wish I would receive some now.

In short, I got custody of my son from his mother after 10 long years of struggling to remain part of my son's life. I endured restraining orders, police calls, long move always and finally accusations of sexual abuse against my son. That was the last straw...after she moved to Iowa and I lost the court fight judge warned her not to screw with my visitation or it would be grounds for a custody switch.
One year later the accusations came and I went a month and a half without seeing my son. After jumping through the hoops to clear my name and get visitation back I went to court for custody. 9 months later of court crap the judge made good on her threat and I won custody.

That about 2 years ago, my son is doing excellent in school now, missed 3 days last year, none this year and been tardy twice. Lowest grade is a C with 3 A's and rest B's.  Down from with her missing 7-12 days a year and tardy 14+ times a year!!!

My home is very busy, girlfriend has 4 kids herself plus one that we just "got out of the house" and is having a baby herself. I work nights, girlfriend works days...bills are piling up, food is going up, heat is going up, gas for the 800 plus miles I drive to let him see his mother is going up!

I am starting to get pissed now that I haven't got anything of support from that (I'll use it this time) DEADBEAT MOTHER.

I always paid on time and NEVER missed and was NEVER without a job while she had him. Now I am getting nothing while on the "other side." That brings me to mixed emotions. I now how hard it is to struggle while paying CS...I did that for 10 years, I went to the capital in MN and testified in front of the Senators in MN for fairer CS laws. Fairer enforcement. (I felt CS was too high and enforcent to strict for most) Now I feel like I am getting screwed.

I don't know, but it would be nice to get some help from her. I don't want her to have to struggle like I did...I don't hate her like that. But come on now I think. It's been 2 years and now help. She's only $4000 behind...not some $20,000 like other I her about in the news. But a couple hundred a month would help right about now.

I would think some women would make house payments on CS, buy cars, clothes etc etc....Well some do...my ex lost her 2005 Mazda 6 when CS stopped from me...

I had a 90 Beretta with 250,000 miles on it...guess what. 2 months after I got custody I got nailed in the side and they totaled the car, I got $1200 for it. Out a vehicle that ran great, was paid off and I am back to making payments. Oh yeh, no 2005 for me...I got a cheap '99 grand pix...which is now racking up tons of miles driving back and forth for visitation. I spend almost about what I "saved" by not having to pay CS in gas now.

I've called CS and they keep giving the run around...Iowa is suppose to handle it...call Iowa and they haven't entered it in the system yet. Call MN and they sent everything down...Iowa is suppose to handle it don't call Iowa call MN they say.

I am beginning to think there is enforcement difference between sexes. MN just did a study and found differences in enforcement by county and wondered why that is. DUH...everybody knows it difference with the judges...just like with visitation cases, custody cases...its the judge's not the counties.

What can a person do to get some action if you're a guy that is owed CS? I know that sounds sexist or bad but that is what I am feeling now. I wasn't mad before but after 2 years my patience is running thinner now.

Any ideas? Any thoughts? Am I thinking right? or am I just thinking vindictively now?

[Sunshine1]

.

[tulip]

DH paid bm's rent, car payment, and insurance for years. He was never behind on payments. In fact, the month that he got custody, he had overpaid, and she owes him over $200 from money she was never supposed to get. She never used the money he gave her for the kids. When the cs stopped, her car got repo'ed. Yeah, I know, they lived in the home she paid rent on, but she would have to have a home if she didn't have the kids too right? Actually she didn't pay her rent and the guy she was renting from kicked her out once the kids were gone. Now that dh has the kids she has spent the last two years doing everything she can to prove she can't work and therefore can't pay cs. We could really use the $$ right now too, but it ain't comin anytime soon. She has a $10,000 lein on our home, payable when we sell, or yss turns 18 (in 7 more years.) So she may never spend a dime to support her kids, but when they are all grown up, dh has to hand her $10g.

[Sunshine1]

WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!!  Why on earth do have to give her 10,000???  Is that part of his divorce?  all she is going to do is buy some meth with it!!

I saw your other post.  Is SD hanging around different friends?  Her friends KNOW about it, it is usually something they tell other people.  When I was in highschool...which was a million years ago.... I had a friend that used to cut herself.  Then I thought it was cool so I decided to cut myself.  No matter how many times I did it, it friggin hurt, so it wasn't for me, BUT, my friend kept on a doing it.

She is crying out for some obvious attention or she is following the crowd.  Get her into counseling ASAP.  She has a good head on her shoulders, she is now just feeling the situation I think, and it is starting to set in that her mom is a junkie.  

[tulip]

Yes, the $10,000 was part of the divorce. It was for home equity.

I talked to sd's youth pastor. He told me that some of her other friends had noticed this on her and talked to him about it because they are worried. She is going to see a counselor, but doesn't want to.

[Dibella]

Well, as it seems, women don't appear to be accountable for c/s like father's do.  DH just went through four years of court, in which the district court judge gave him full legal and physical custody.  She was ordered to pay child support (full guideline child support - she can't work full time, it's "too much"  boooooooo hoooooo).  She pissed and moaned enough that in the appeal that was remanded, the district court judge cut her child support to part time and gave her a FOUR THOUSAND DOLLAR CREDIT!  Now, let's see that happen to a father!  THEN she appealed yet again and the appeals court just recently reversed the custody and child support.  My guess, by reading their appeal, they didn't read the facts of the case and just wanted to get it off their desk, thereby putting two children BACK in harms way, so looks like now, DH gets to raise the kids full-time AND pay back all her child support that she's paid to him in the last two years.

Nice, huh?  This woman has never (outside of the child support she's paid the last two years) paid one red cent towards her children!  DH has had school year custody since inception of their divorce decree.  He's paid all their fees for school, sports, etc.  Not one dime from her!  She and her boyfriend are always taking vacations together (never with the children), they just bought a new boat, etc. etc. etc.  The list goes on.  

So, my best guess is since she's a woman, child support won't do anything.  Because that would somehow be injustice!

Sorry.  This whole issue really makes my blood boil!  How the courts seem to think that a father can raise his children, pay for everything without child support AND pay back thousands of dollars in child support to the non custodial parent is just completely beyond my train of thought!