School situation a mute point

[dipper]

My dh was very disappointed this week.  He went to a meeting concerning yss school problems.  It boiled down to yss could either be on homebound the rest of the school year, or go to a special school.  He could not go to any middle school in the state.  BM chose the special school.  Originally, dh had been told that if he could get yss down here, that the other school would have no jurisdiction over him.  But, they have put a strict confinement on him.  The only reason he is given this chance is because he is learning disabled.  

The school he is going to only has 60 children.  From what we saw on the site, counseling is a normal feature of the school.   A few weeks ago when there was a meeting with a school official, bm had told her that she would not reconsider counseling - and that she had an appt. for yss to reconsider meds.  She in fact did not and never took him anywhere.  So, it is possible that this is why they are being so strict - she refuses counseling, but at this school, he will have it.  Not only that, but there is something about in-home counseling and one parent having to sign to be committed to this.......

Anyway, dh now has a court order and the lawyer sent a letter urging him to appeal the original decision.  The school situation makes it all void though.  They are even saying he may have to go to summer school, which will cut into dh's time as he has him six weeks during the summer.....

[Sunshine1]

I too have a special needs son.  We also have summer school to deal with.  In this case, his BF keeps with his EOW through the whole calendar year.  It makes things alot easier on him since transition is getting more difficult as he gets older, spending a straight week there used to be ok, but now is not as tolerable.

Maybe this is something you could do, or if you live close enough, you be responsible for taking him to and from school while in your care.  At least you are involved, that is the best thing of all.  Stay involved that is the best thing you can do for him...I have a question, the school kicked him out?  That is illegal, and I wonder if a Pacer advocate would be beneficial to you in selecting a school program best fitted for your yss.

Just my 2 cents..good luck

[dipper]

Yes, he was in a lot of trouble.  He has been suspended about five times for fighting this school year.  He has been in detention, in-school-suspension, the whole works.   the school felt he was too agressive.  They said he cannot go to any middle school in our state - and has to go to this particular school or homebound.  He wasnt completely expelled because of his learning disability.  

My problem is - he was doing well in class at first.  His mom never worked with him at home.  So, his grades werent that great because of not doing homework or studying.  Yet, in one way or another, he will pass his grade.  Why?  Because he is big for his age and he is learning disabled.  Its as if it really doesnt matter - like he is being told that he cannot do it when I think he can do it.  yes, his capabilities are different, but shouldnt he be expected to meet those abilities?

BM bragged that she is working as a waitress most nights and has him with her - and he busses tables and such....He is 13.  Instead of being out until 11, shouldnt a child with ld and ADHD be at home relaxing?  I just think the late hours have been a contributing factor to his behavior this school year.

The school he is going to is for learning disabled, emotionally and socially disturbed children.  He just had to adjust to moving to a very big area with a wealthier economy, now he has to leave the children he knows there and go to this smaller school.  May be the best thing, I dont know....

[Troubledmom]

Sometimes the smaller more controlled environment is the solution for a child who has serious behavioral issues (no matter what may be the cause of the behavioral problems).

Some ideas to try working on, since he will be in a smaller more controlled school is to develop a relationship with his new teacher(s) and counselor. Ask them for ideas that you may use during your time with the child to help him.

When I spoke with my daughters teacher, so frustrated at her having failed all her subjects, her teacher gave me some things to do when she is with me. Some of it is simple.

The teacher was concerned that my daughter will not do school work without someone sitting right with her. So we are trying a new thing, I spend the first 5-10 minutes of homework time getting her started, then I walk away to let her work. I come back about 15 minutes before the end of homework time to help her finish up. This is giving her some independent study time, the thing the teacher felt she needed to learn along with KNOWING that she is going to get help at certain points. (This is only happening 2 days a week when I have her so may not work but I'm game to try just about anything to help my child)

TM

[lucky]

I would talk to the special ed director of his school district.  While this smaller school MAY be better for him, I discovered something really, really interesting this fall.

For several weeks, ds was telling me about how the kids were teasing him because of the tics he had as a result of ADHD medication.  I talked to his teacher and she said she'd take care of it, ds stopped talking about the teasing so I thought she had.  A few weeks later my 11 yo son brought a knife to school with the intent (so he says) to scare one of the kids on the bus who'd been teasing him all year - it was in his Trapper Keeper and a teacher discovered it.

According to what I heard at the weapons committee meeting AND from the principal, ds was kicked out of the regular district schools for good.  I was freaking out because what the hell were we going to do with a 5th grader when both dh and I worked?  Then my mom, who works for the Minnesota Dept. of Education talked to some of her co-workers in the special ed area.  They told me a bunch of info and also suggested that I contact the district special ed. director because they get REALLY hot under the collar about these type of things because THEIR butts are on the line if ANY other district employee does not follow state and federal special ed rules.

Turns out that they CAN'T kick ds out permanently BECAUSE he is on an IEP -- they could only suspend him for a maximum of 6 weeks AND they had to provide alternate schooling, schooling that WE could do along with transportation to said schooling.  ONLY the IEP team can make that decision to remove him from the regular school system permanently.  In fact, less than 3 weeks after the incident, he was back in a different school in the district because of the inpatient program we placed him in and the IEP was reviewed there with THAT school's principal instead of the Miss "I only have perfect kids attend here" principal from his old school.  (I'm not over-exaggerating about her either -- we've had to deal with her for 9-10 years now with all our kids going to that school due to attendance boundaries).

Your state may be different, but I would check into it for your ss.  At the least, you'd be more fully informed.  I ended up writing a letter stating that if I didn't get some answers and stuff I was filing a complaint with the state.  Like Sunshine said, check out PACER as well, I didn't need them, but I've worked with them in the past when dd's foster mom was trying to convince me and their school district that my dd was LD and NEEDED an IEP instead of just lazy (which is what it turned out to be -- laziness).  PACER advocates are like bulldogs, man.  

Here's PACER's website:  http://www.pacer.org/

Good luck.  

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]