Familicide

[wysiwyg]

Recently I read- a father killed his 4 year old son then took his own life.  Fathers estranged wife had temp custody and plans on taking the child several states away.  

The father was quoted in his email as saying: ""I was going to try to fight this legally, but I have almost no chance of winning. The mother automatically gets the benefit of the doubt as being the most important parent when the child is age 8 and under -- the "tender years". I would have to show that she is not fit to be a parent in order to gain custody."

A psychiatrist in a major hospital quoted in the paper said:

"To think that you have the power or opportunity to judge how someone else's life should go, or to end somebody's life because of whatever I believe, is wrong. And it usually comes from a disturbed mind."

isnt this what the courts do?  They decide if you get to be put to death or when, where and how you see your child?  I suppose that this guy is really stating that our court system has a disturbed mind since they do have the power to to judge how an entire family can spend their life in a divorce situation.

Just my 2 cents here........

[CustodyIQ]

I'm really not sure what you hope to achieve with this commentary.

A father who kills his four-year old child was likely not a good candidate for having custody of the child.  Anyone who insinuates any type of excuse or rationalization for murdering one's child... it's really beyond my comprehension.

It's true that people get put to death after being convicted of extremely heinous crimes against humanity, crimes that typically involve special circumstances of particularly evil doings.

I see no relationship between the death sentence, which is possible ONLY when a crime meets certain establisehd (i.e., by legislature) criteria AND comes with an automatic appeal, and the psychologist's commentary that it takes a disturbed mind to end an (innocent) person's life based upon one's own biased ideaology.

Finally, when two parties can't come to terms on child custody, and they seek a court's ruling on asserting when the child should spend time with either parent, it's not as though the judge has volunteered to do it.  In most cases, there will be a "winner" and a "loser", and the parties enter court with that awareness.

Unless it's in response to child neglect or abuse, no judge ever enters someone's home without invitation to restrict contact between parent and child.  It's only when one or both parents invite the judge, that this happens.

[wysiwyg]

The goal was not to "achieve" anything.  I was simply pointing out that a desperate person who saw no way out and believed that because of the "tender years" he would not even be considered as a custodial parent no matter how good of a parent he was unless he tried to prove his wife as an unfit mother.  In that case he has already relinquished control to the legal system and we all know that once that happens it is a free for all.  No longer are WE in control of when we want to see our kids, or our money or our homes, we leave that up to the courts as they then seem to think they know what is in the best interest of our kids without ever having met them or spent time with them.  The courts come with the power to tell us how and when we see our children, spend our money and if we do not do as they say, then we are punished, our accounts frozen and man times we are guilty until we can prove otherwise.  

I was a bit surprised to see that someone with such an education make a point that only a disturbed mind has the power and control over how someone eles's life should go or end.  I agree that perhaps he was speaking of the criminals who commit heinous crimes, but none the less- does that make it right that our court system has that SAME power?

I understand that man's desperation, I do not agree with his ultimate decision, but I do understnad how a father can be driven to such depths of despair in fear of losing their child.  

Like I said - nothing to achieve, just making a point.  I only wish the legal system would wake up and just how much of this goes on, and institute some help for the families and not continually tear them apart, some of those wounds last a lifetime.

 

[CustodyIQ]

> I only
>wish the legal system would wake up and just how much of this
>goes on, and institute some help for the families and not
>continually tear them apart, some of those wounds last a
>lifetime.

Well, on that, we certainly agree!

Thanks for the clarifications.